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I've always been attracted to older men.
Read these 4 past blog posts to understand where I am coming from (especially if you're a new reader)
Should I Date an Older Man?
Women Who Date Older Men Are Gold Diggers
Of Cougars and Kittens
My Older Men Fetish
Last year however, (following my failed relationship with my Ex Mark who was 19 years older than me), I started opening my dating horizons to men who were my age as well.
I was with GB for a few months last year (he was only 32) and then I was with the HK guy earlier this year (8 yrs older).... but anything less than 10 years, I don't consider "older". Well, I was never attracted to him in the way I am attracted to older men.
But both relationships didn't last beyond a few months. In retrospect (yes, hindsight is wonderful), I am glad it didn't. I would not have been happy with either of them in the long run... especially with HK guy. I can't believe I let that drag. I'm so happy he's the sort who is wishy washy and doesn't have a clue what he wants in life. That's me off his hook!
Now that I am dating an older man again (he is 12 years older.. so we are both Monkeys in the Chinese zodiac)... I'm loving it... I'm loving him... I adore him, I feel special and I am happy again. It's just a much better match than all my previous ones.
And here's why I STILL prefer older men.
... are more interesting than men of my own age. They grew up in a different decade from me. I lived my teenage years and 20s to the fullest... experiencing all of what the 90's and 00's had to offer to the young and inexperienced. I want to be with someone who has experienced a different decade, or the same decade but in a different phase of life.
...have direction. Young men either don't have direction or they are trying to pursue far too many directions at the same time. There is nothing wrong with this. By all means, pursue your career, or your first whatever... but your hierarchy of needs do not match mine at this time.
...won't jeopardise the relationship. Young men tend to spend at least a decade of their lives letting good women pass them by...mainly by messing around with stuff (like flirting and cheating and lying) they know will destroy the relationship...but they still do it. Older men know better.
... don't play games. And I don't mean computer games (although older men tend not to obsess over computer games.. which is a good thing). What I mean is the mind game. Younger men like to keep their options open, while still keeping you close. They work towards getting the best hand they possibly can, while older men work towards keeping you.
... understand things better. They put alot of the childish things behind them and look at the things that really matter. I've also found that they have more patience and are more resilient in times of turmoil.
... share the same lifestyle preference as I do. I like socialising and having drinks with my partner in the evenings... but at the end of the day, home is where I want to be most. Any relationship (whether you're the same age or not) where at 10 p.m., he's wearing pajamas and falling asleep with a book in his hands.... and she's got on her dancing shoes on and is heading for the clubs.... is not going to last. And even if it does, it's not going to be a fullfilling one.
.... give me peace of mind. Well, not all older men... but my man in particular doesn't keep me at home worrying. When he's out for drinks with his mates, he bothers to make the effort to give me a quick ring, and send me SMSs. I never asked for any of this.. but I appreciate it a lot. I could never stay with someone who makes me feel insecure.
... make great lovers. You know how whenever you see an older man with a younger partner on the streets, the first thought is... "Oh, he must be rich and he must be with her for the sex." Contrary to that popular (shallow) assumption... I have found that it was the younger men who were eager to jump into my pants. Older men (who are serious about you) know that sex is not a race, and make the effort to build the relationship first.
... are romantic. I'm not talking the seranade-on-a-gondola-in-Italy type romance (though you're still more likely to get that out of an older man than that boy with spiked up hair who secretly wanks off to porn in his bedroom). But I'm talking about the little things which all add up. We've not even been together 4 months yet. But I already have so many special moments which I hold close to my heart.
... are protective. But in a Non-Cave Man Way. The first thought on a younger man's mind when he's trying to protect you is to bash someone's face in or break their legs. An older guy is less worried about beating up another person and more concerned with getting you out of that situation, whatever it may be.
Of course not ALL older men are great. Not all men age like fine wine. And some men just never grow up. But if you choose wisely, you’ll be pleasantly surprised. Bottomline is you have to live your life for yourself when it comes to everything from what type of career to pursue to whom you fall in love with. Go seek your happiness.
So yeah... I tried for a year to date men my age (or only a bit older)... but I still prefer older men (this current one in particular :) )