Saturday, October 22, 2011

Shitty Things Women Do When Dating

As a follow up to my previous post on Things Guys Should Know To Make Dating easier.... I've just written a list of shitty things women tend to do when dating. I don't know for whom it would be helpful .. since I don't think I (or women in general) want to change.. lol
But for a laugh and just so we all know we're not alone when it comes to being "difficult"... here's my list..

1. Turn Up Late

Ok, not every woman is like this. I for one am very punctual (except for my very first date with David, I was like 2 hours late! But there's a perfectly good explantion for it which I will tell you another day...).

But the reality is.. some girls are never on time. And if she's one of those, then it will never change. Try telling her a meeting/pick up time that's 30 minutes earlier than needed... so there's a buffer.

2. Have Selective Memories

Sometimes we can't remember what we had for lunch today, or the fact that we already have 3 similar black dresses in our wardrobe... but we can recall exactly what you said 2weeks, 3days and 6 hours ago... if we need to bring it up during an argument. We can also remember every single time you went out without us, and every single promise you have broken. We're mentally advanced like that.. don't fault us on our super mental recall abilities. (Instead of complaining about women not letting matters rest, men should hone their recall skills so they won't bloody forget their own words!)

3. Become Needy

We get attached quite easily. We want cuddles, we want you to talk to us, and reassure us. Women tend to become insecure when they fall in love. If we're independent, and don't give a hoot about where you are or what you're up to... that means we're not really that in to you.

4. Keep Tabs On Your Rubber Necking

We have excellent peripheral vision. Yes, everytime a passing girl catches your eye, and you (try to discreetly) turn back to have a better look at her... we notice. Sometimes, we will ask you what's wrong? Or what were you looking at? or Do you know her? But most times, we will pretend not to notice. But we do keep tabs. Fuck you.

5. Whine

Women whine about work, being fat, blisters, bad hair, being fat, food, nails, the weather... have I mentioned being fat? Things that guys don't even think about can be big problems to a woman. It's just the way we operate... we whine to get things out of our system. We don't expect you to fix anything, we just want you to listen. Tomorrow, it will be exactly the same. And that's okay.

6. ALWAYS in Competition

Women like to compare, and would prefer to come out with the winning hand... all the time. We don't like it if someone else's boyfriend/husband is better than ours, or if her relationship is better than ours. The majority of us look at pictures of Kate and Prince William and feel life is unfair *grunts and stomps hooves*. (I even think many of us relish the fact that she has thick sausage fingers as seen from the exchanging of rings in the wedding broadcast.. or is it just me? lol)

7. Don't Speak Our Minds

If something is upsetting us, we will say NOTHING is wrong. You need to get with the programme, and realise that something is really wrong... you can usually tell by the way we are acting. My BF is particularly good at this, thankfully. We will either get withdrawn or suddenly go quiet. You're in trouble. Think back to what dumbass thing you just said or did... and fix the situation!

8. Want to be Princesses

Some of us are outright demanding... but the majority of us don't verbalise it. All women want to be treated like Princesses (not necessarily in terms of money but at least in thought and effort). Don't know why.. but we kinda think it's our birth right that men should cater to our needs and wants. Of course you can choose to be the sort of guy who doesn't give a shit about this... but you will eventually lose us to the knight in shining armour.

9. Fish For Compliments

We want men to be attracted to us, and to show it. We want you to tell us we look great in our new dress, or how tasty the meal we cooked is, or even that you love the way we smile. We have egos too. And we need you to stroke it sometimes.

10. Possessive Bitchiness

They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. So true. Women get bitchy when other women encroach into their territory. You are our man. We won't stand for other women flirting with you. You should NEVER flirt back (or so help you God). When we are on a bitch rant... your job is to keep calm and shut up. You can try to calm us down. BUT NEVER EVER side with the other woman. No matter what.


Ok Happy weekend everybody!

10 comments:

  1. Omgosh! this post is super hilarious. An I totally agree that we remember every single time when our partner went out without us particularly with a girl. Maybe its a colleague, but we remember, Screw it ya! hahahah

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  2. Oh My Tian! How true are they!!! loves your blog HJ! =)

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  3. pearly3:03 pm

    I love the way you ended off #4!! muahahahahah

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  4. Theresa9:03 pm

    Oh wow Holly! You hit the nail on every point! So true... Sometimes I wonder is it me being weird that I am/behave like that towards my bf? And if because of that, am I a terrible gf? But this post just put my worries to rest. I'm not alone hahahaha.
    But I must say, men and women really do behave, act and think very differently haha!

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  5. this is the BEST article on how men should treat women EVER. i hardly ever say things like "BEST EVER" so you know i mean it. it isn't like any other magazine article trying to tell girls to be a certain way or less of a certain way so you won't piss off your guy...

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  6. Anonymous10:32 am

    love it! and it's so true.. mostly except for the late part.

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  7. Anonymous11:09 am

    Maybe its a colleague, but we remember, Screw it ya! hahahah

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  8. Oh My god! How true are they!!! love your blog for ever HJ! =)
    here: http://www.buymonclermilano.com,get you want?

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  9. Anonymous1:35 am

    makes us sound like crazy bitches. but SPOT ON! every post had me nodding away and gg "YES! SO TRUE!"

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  10. pissed myself laughing throughout -- this is gold :)

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