As you would have already known, I've said before that sex is an important part of a relationship. Sex is bonding. And sex has to be good because I intend to have a monogamous relationship and marriage.My new stand is abstinence until marriage or at least until you both know each other very well.
Don't get me wrong, I still think that sex is an important part of a relationship. I've not gone all nun-ish or anything. But I've recently come to the conclusion that sex can wait. Should wait.
I've often heard people say that if a guy is serious about you, he won't try to sleep with you too early in the relationship. I never realised that there was truth in this. And I'm not talking about just a few months kind of waiting. We're talking really wait and not rush things.
From what I have heard from my girlfriends, and what experience I have had myself... if a guy delays sex in a relationship... then he's either gay, has STDs, or has a very small penis, or can't get it hard or has some sort of performance anxiety issues. Hence he has to make you fall in love with him first, before revealing his short commings (pun unintended).
(Also, be aware that some men SAY they don't want to rush into sex with you because they like you a lot... but that's only a false pretence, all part of their repertoire to lure you in).
But I'm happy to report that true gentlemen do exist. There are men out there who have nothing physically or mentally wrong with them, who meet someone they care for and don't want to just jump her bones. The right man for you will want the first time he has sex with you to mean something. It'll be worth it to wait.
Instead of between-the-sheets, spend hours talking, taking long walks together, enjoying a pint (or 2 or 3), laughing and just living life together.
Sex is not an insta-bond. It should not be a short cut to closeness.
Delaying gratification and practicing abstinence is not easy. But if you want to be with them for life.. then what's the rush? Go against your carnal desires and wait.
Delaying gratification and practicing abstinence is not easy. But if you want to be with them for life.. then what's the rush? Go against your carnal desires and wait.
homina homina homina *jab fork in my right thigh*
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This week on my Get Her column....
Im guessing you've been abstaining from sex in your current relationship?
ReplyDeleteI don't think its necessarily true that if a guy puts off sex, theres something wrong with him. However, thats what I thought when I met my bf a year ago. He hugged/kissed me but wouldnt have sex(though i tried to). Our first date lasted about 3 days(probably some sort of record) and when it happened, it was beautiful. I love my horse.
Oh and let me just add that we didnt do it on the 3rd day but prob 2 months in.
ReplyDeleteAlso, my BF always says to me : Never have sex in the first 3 weeks as thats usually how long it takes to sieve out the ruts/rats.
thanks for sharing, Diana
ReplyDeleteawww come on...
ReplyDeleteHi I do not agree with all of you!
ReplyDeleteErm, trying to prove your not a slut?
ReplyDelete@anon10.33 - lol. why would I need to? The person who matters to me, knows the truth.
ReplyDeleteJust sharing my thoughts with my readers. You don't have to read so much in to it. Chillax.
HiHi!May I know roughly how many nail polishes do you have now?Sorry,this question is nothing related to your post.
ReplyDelete-C
not tht many.. maybe about 20 to 30 bottles.
ReplyDeletebut the turnover rate is high.. once it starts to get thick i throw them out. but usually, I throw them out cos i finished it.
think I am one of the rare ones tht can finish up my bottles of nail polish.
only a handful are branded ones from Estee, Ettusais, Opi etc.
majority are cheapo ones... which i bought cos i like the colours.
i agree with you :)
ReplyDeletei've been tgt with my bf for over a year and he hasn't pressurized me into sex cause i'm not ready and i made it clear from the start. he says that he'll wait as long as needed although we've spoken about it before and he said sometimes it gets difficult when his friends bring up the topic of sex and he's left out.
but he understand i'm not ready and respects the decision and has been waiting patiently :)
errr.....it's not the same for everyone but i have met some guys who said they will cherish their gf and delay sex or wait it out BUT it does not stop them from initiating one night stands with others while in the relationship. & sadly, one of them initiated it with me while being honest saying he has a gf he cherishes but just wants physical release.
ReplyDeleteSO teh question is, would u rather be with a guy who loves u but has sex with others or would u rather satisfy him physically too while still sharing that emotional bond with him?
I think this whole thing is quite subjective n depends on the guy's sex drive, priorities & personality.
Also if the female is totally enjoying the sex, then there really is no harm in not waiting it out as long as both have attraction n respect for each other.
my bf and i got frisky barely a week after getting together. even i was shocked at what i did. anyway, this december is our 4th year together. he does respect me and love me very much. out of 2 my ex bfs, he has treated me the best.
ReplyDelete