Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Break Up Mistakes

I don't think I know of anyone who has never had a failed relationship. I think if you've never failed at it, you haven't really lived, and haven't been taking chances.


Yes, it is devastating to wake up the next day eyes puffy from all the crying, and realising that the reality is, you partner will no longer be there.


Here are the top things NOT to do when you get dumped.


1. Beg
During times of desperation, the normal impulse is always to panic and hold on to anything you can grasp. I am not a fan of begging. No one should be with you out of pity. And if you partner is breaking up with you, begging is not going to get you to look any better to her if she's already found something about you she thinks is sufficient cause to finish the relationship.



2. Non-Stop Text Messages/Phone Calls
Do not bombard your ex with declarations of love and affection, thinking they'll come running to you. He doesn't need to hear about just how much you feel for him, he knows that.


3. Being friends too soon


I made this mistke with my ex Mark a year ago. It made moving on and moving forward more difficult than I realised at that point. Today, we are no longer friends. Which is sad. But I'm no looking for more friends, I am looking for my life partner. Cest la vie.



4. Bad mouth them


Yes, I often recount bad experiences with my exes when I talk about relationships on my blog. But I never reveal names. I jus vaguely say "some years ago". Plus most of these exes were way back from when I was much younger, and had bad experiences because I didn't know what was best for me. When my recent exes and I split ( Mark and GB), I still thought they were wonderful people, and I would never think of talking bad about them to my friends.



5. Jealousy


This is by far and the most ridiculous of all of the methods to try to get your ex back. Yes, it does work sometimes... but for the wrong reason. Your ex should want you back because he/she realises he/she made a mistake and they feel a void when you are no longer theirs. They should not want you back because they cannot stand seeing you happy with someone else. You will be back here, at square one, in a shitty relationship. Don't do this.



To all those going through a break up right now, big hug. There's someone out there who will love you for who you are. Someone who will make all these past heartaches so worthwhile. Believe.


x


HJ

6 comments:

  1. did u break up?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Agreed with you... If you never fail b4, then
    you truly have not live your life.

    May all the broken hearts find that missing piece, the destined one and realized the tears once shed, is worth for the one who will love 'em with their hearts.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous9:48 am

    Can u please write something interesting? It's getting boring here.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love this post about breaking up. Breaking up is hard to do and for a few weeks after you feel that your heart has been pulled out of your body, stamped on, cut into to small pieces and then thrown of the highest of buildings. This is very emotionally draining but then after this mourning period is over the light at the end of the tunnel comes and in most cases with another man to take his place.

    Love your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous4:39 pm

    I am going through a break up which I have never see it coming now. I found out that there was this other women at his office. She has been hitting on him since last August. She knows he is attached and she has seen him with me before! But that didn't stop her from hitting over and over on him...and guess finally he succumb and apparently she is some beauty queen...sometimes I really feel like asking her why is she doing why she is doing.. (yes I know he allowed that too..) but can't I even feel angry and confront her? Doing that will make me lesser in moral and dignity than her? Can you share your thoughts pls... I am really confused..

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous4:56 pm

    Thanks HJ for this post. I just broke up like a month back. and it totally relates to me.

    Love it.

    ReplyDelete