Important Context: This was written a year ago, when I was single, months before meeting GB. GB is not a sex-pat. None of my boyfriends were sex-pats.)
A Sex-Pat is a person (generally a white man) who could not get laid back home (well, not as easily anyway), who moves to an Asian country, and suddenly finds that prosititues and SPGs treat him like the man he always knew he was.
The difference between a sex-tourist and a sex-pat is the sex-pat lives in the country, a sex-tourist is a short stay visitor.
It’s a power rush. To suddenly be desireable (even if it is only to a much less discerning crowd of women...) can get to any man’s head, and inflate it. (NOTE: Not all women in Singapore fall to their feet just because they’re white.)
I have recently started seeing a white man. And I like him a lot. He is also at this stage quite smitten by me. But I am wary and extremely careful with this one… because he is very new to Singapore. Why is this bad??? It’s because I am afraid that he will fall into the sex-pat pit. I’m not saying he’s a sex-pat, he’s not…
But look around us… yes, there are good white men in Singapore, but there are many who aren't good people. You know what they say- Play with shit, Smell like shit.
The many pitfalls awaiting any new white expat in Singapore include:
Prostitution
Chewing gum is banned… along with some relatively harmless video games, and movies and books. It will cost a Singaporean more money to enter the casino than it would to get laid by a tranny. You can only smoke within yellow boxes. You cannot take your dogs into the malls. But prostitution?
Prostituution is a thriving business in Singapore. Me thinks… somebody may have missed something here???
Geylang is not the only sex district in Singapore. Right on our world renowned shopping district, the same street that houses Vertu, Cartier and the likes, we have Orchard Towers; the 4 floors of whores. It is home to several escort services, sleazy bars and barfront brothels.
One of my friends (years ago), recounted a tale of when he first arrived in Singapore, and was looking for a pub to watch footy. Stumbled into Orchard Towers to watch a match, and when he left, he left with 2 hot girls who wanted to bed him. Thinking- YES! I am a desirable white man in Asia!... he brought them back to his place, only to be shocked that they demanded $400 for it.
Tip: If you really wanted to just watch football mate, you should've, would've, could've gone into Muddy Murphy's right next door...
KTV joints
It’s appalling how many men (Singaporean included!) patronise sleazy KTV joints. It’s not all as innocent as they pretend it to be. I often hear some male friends talking about which mamasan has the best girls at which joints… how much they cost and how far each one will go.
It’s amazing how much such establishments can get away with legally. (Am I the only one here that is secretly snickering away everytime a KTV joint gets raided by the cops, and you see pictures of all the idiots trying to cover their faces?)
Sleazy Massages
These are dodgy massage parlours where the massage probably isn’t that great but they offer clients a happy ending.
Social Escorts
I have never understood why a man would pay for a woman and keep it social. Pay her for sex, yes, it makes sense. But to pay a woman so she can chat with you over dinner??? *cynical laugh*
And even if a new white man can manage the willpower and pride to avoid all these pitfalls… just an innocent trip down to Attica could just as easily make him fall down that sex-pat pit.
So, you see now why I have reservations on this guy I like? A new white man in Singapore faces so many pitfalls.
Of course, after going through the sex-pat phase, many white men (stung, broken, jaded, but hopefully not diseased) will come to see Sex-Patism for what it really is (though some just never leave the candy store).
A Sex-Pat is a person (generally a white man) who could not get laid back home (well, not as easily anyway), who moves to an Asian country, and suddenly finds that prosititues and SPGs treat him like the man he always knew he was.
The difference between a sex-tourist and a sex-pat is the sex-pat lives in the country, a sex-tourist is a short stay visitor.It’s a power rush. To suddenly be desireable (even if it is only to a much less discerning crowd of women...) can get to any man’s head, and inflate it. (NOTE: Not all women in Singapore fall to their feet just because they’re white.)
I have recently started seeing a white man. And I like him a lot. He is also at this stage quite smitten by me. But I am wary and extremely careful with this one… because he is very new to Singapore. Why is this bad??? It’s because I am afraid that he will fall into the sex-pat pit. I’m not saying he’s a sex-pat, he’s not…
But look around us… yes, there are good white men in Singapore, but there are many who aren't good people. You know what they say- Play with shit, Smell like shit.
The many pitfalls awaiting any new white expat in Singapore include:
Prostitution
Chewing gum is banned… along with some relatively harmless video games, and movies and books. It will cost a Singaporean more money to enter the casino than it would to get laid by a tranny. You can only smoke within yellow boxes. You cannot take your dogs into the malls. But prostitution?
Prostituution is a thriving business in Singapore. Me thinks… somebody may have missed something here???
Geylang is not the only sex district in Singapore. Right on our world renowned shopping district, the same street that houses Vertu, Cartier and the likes, we have Orchard Towers; the 4 floors of whores. It is home to several escort services, sleazy bars and barfront brothels.
One of my friends (years ago), recounted a tale of when he first arrived in Singapore, and was looking for a pub to watch footy. Stumbled into Orchard Towers to watch a match, and when he left, he left with 2 hot girls who wanted to bed him. Thinking- YES! I am a desirable white man in Asia!... he brought them back to his place, only to be shocked that they demanded $400 for it.
Tip: If you really wanted to just watch football mate, you should've, would've, could've gone into Muddy Murphy's right next door...
KTV joints
It’s appalling how many men (Singaporean included!) patronise sleazy KTV joints. It’s not all as innocent as they pretend it to be. I often hear some male friends talking about which mamasan has the best girls at which joints… how much they cost and how far each one will go.
It’s amazing how much such establishments can get away with legally. (Am I the only one here that is secretly snickering away everytime a KTV joint gets raided by the cops, and you see pictures of all the idiots trying to cover their faces?)
Sleazy Massages
These are dodgy massage parlours where the massage probably isn’t that great but they offer clients a happy ending.
Social Escorts
I have never understood why a man would pay for a woman and keep it social. Pay her for sex, yes, it makes sense. But to pay a woman so she can chat with you over dinner??? *cynical laugh*
And even if a new white man can manage the willpower and pride to avoid all these pitfalls… just an innocent trip down to Attica could just as easily make him fall down that sex-pat pit.
So, you see now why I have reservations on this guy I like? A new white man in Singapore faces so many pitfalls.
Of course, after going through the sex-pat phase, many white men (stung, broken, jaded, but hopefully not diseased) will come to see Sex-Patism for what it really is (though some just never leave the candy store).
Comments
have a nice day! :)
Go slow babe. Real slow tis time so tat u wnt get hurt so quickly
I knw we women all yearn to love & to be loved. But yet we need to hold our emotions & feeling for awhile b4 we throw ourself in
I always enjoy reading yr love life stories though it may nt b a bed of roses but tats life rite?
All the best & hope to hear how u guys meet : )
@ Celestina- no.. not dating now... this was written 1 year ago (as stated at the top of the article)
@anonymous 11.57- i have no comment :D
But the other portals archives got wiped out in the revamp this year. So I just thought of reposting it on my main blog (this blog) instead.
It's funny how so many commentors, despite my disclaimer at the start of the post, still think that this is current.... and tht I am dating a new expat right this moment.
Oh well!
Why do you include Attica in the list?? Just curious ..
I've been in town for 2 years and yes, there're tons of chicks throwing themselves at white men and some of them are actually quite hot. and for a man, if a decent looking girl put herself on a silver platter, of course I'll takt it up. And no, we don't just play around for the rest of our lives and it's also not because we can't get laid at home. Some expats can't. Some can. But when we finally meet the girl whom we think is worth our time, most of us actually settle down and commit.
I suggest you stop whoring yourself. You're not ugly so why the hurry? I can see you're dating white men one after another with no break in between. Why so desperate? And any white guy who reads your blog and see how you date and throw yourself at white men wouldn't take you seriously anyway. Yes, my comment is harsh but think about it, there is some truth to it.
I did not say that I was dating "a new white expat" again.. so soon after my "last one".
I said (quite a few times now, including at the start of the post itself)... that this piece on sex-pats was written A YEAR AGO.
if the normal- on -the -street party gals go to attica to meet white men are called "the poor sluts", what makes you so different from them since you are also seeking a white man to marry?
i don't go to attica at all but i know my friends/colleagues who work in banks or corporate world in managerial roles probably earning much more than what you are earning as a blogger, they aren't poor nor will i judge them as sluts just because they go to attica. in fact, one of my ex colleague who is a female european met her husband there.
if you call those above as "the poor sluts" - the gals who go to attica, can i ask what makes you different from them and what do you bring to the table besides a pretty face? do you have the finanical ability to share the finanical burden of a mortage loan, raising a family or do you just want to depend on your white man to pay for rent, expenses while you just take care of your own expenses of looking pretty?
sorry to rant but i seriously don't like the names calling.
After all... I AM giving it out free... so that should explain the long line.
tht last comment of mine was meant for Non-Sexpat Expat commmentor... but your comment got wedged in between.
here's my reply to you :
I said attica is full of poor sluts and whores. Meaning they pack it to the brim. But it doesn't mean that every woman in there is a poor slut or whore.
Just because ur rich/successful or whatever friends go to attica does not instantly mean I am calling them poor sluts or whores.
I myself have only been to attica twice, one on joanne's hen night a few years ago, and once more recently with a group of guys and girls. And it's merely an observation of how the crowd there has changed to include whores (as in the profession) .. and it was not like tht years ago.
This argument has nothing to do with your ex colleage meeting her husband there (WTF?? what is the relevance to sexpatism??). It has nothing to do with how much your friends earn... and especially nothing to do with how much anyone earns in comparison to me.
i am referring to your name calling like i mentioned in my comment. please READ carefully.
i am just telling you the type of people i know who goes there as attica is not full of prositudes cos i am not sure who you lable as poor sluts. please do tell me your definition.
and also answer my question, what do you bring to the table besides a pretty face and looking after your own expenses of being pretty? if your white man loses his job, would you be able to hold down the fort based on what you are doing?
(doesn't have to just be attica though.. there can be poor sluts elsewhere)
"poor" as in.. oh I wouldn't want to be you. Not as in you have no money so you are "poor".
"name- calling" is upsetting you? So if I said - attica is full of women who sleep around casually, I i pity these women and wouldn't want to be them... then you would shut up and not complain? oh okay.
AND WHO THE FUCK are you to say "and also answer my question, what do you bring to the table besides a pretty face and looking after your own expenses of being pretty? "
I don't want to marry you or be in any position where I would have to financially save your ass. So, What business is it of yours?
By the way... Pretty comes easy for me. It doesn't cost $. And things which do cost $ such as clothes and make up and other material stuff... I don't even have to "take care" of that, as it comes sponsored anyway.
Have I given you even more reason to hate me? good.
And the best part is... I don't even know you, you're insignificant to me.
You can spell it any way you want, but I just thought I'd do you a favour and mention it since you repeatedly spelt it wrongly, so it's obviously not a typo on your part.
you need to bring more to the table than just a pretty face. you don't get it, do you?
if that's the case, what makes them different from you? you are also seeking to meet white men to sleep with them, hoping they will take care of you for your whole life!
I don't hate you either... (it's impossible to hate someone I don't actually know)
But don't pity me lah. Save it for the things that should matter in your life.
I didn't drive GB away btw. If I ever needed a testimonial of sorts for the GF I was to him in those 5 months, it would be quite a good testimonial :)
It's just the wrong time, and wrong person.
I know exactly what I want in life, and wht I am looking for in a partner...
As for what I bring to that "table".. the right person will see exactly what I bring. If I state all the things ($, skills, virtues, etc etc) here ... it would be pointless, cos ur not the one who needs to know what I can give in a relationship.
So i hope you won;t be offended if I don't answer you.
Which is why I stated tht you wrote ProstituDes much more than once, and so I safely assumed it was not a typo and that you had indeed thought that it was prostitudes and not prostitutes.
:D
WE white boys know you'll be on the prowl for a new white men whenever you break up with one. Match.com yes? Some of us on match.com do know each other just so you know! My advice is, keep your private affairs, well, private. Sure it's your blog and you can write whatever you want to, but when you tell your new white boy date that you're a blogger, we would go have a look and alas, we don't quite like what we see. If you're a white boy, what do you say to a girl who only seems to date white guys? Just saying
So what's your number? I'll join the queue seems you're not bad looking!
Lol, give it another couple of years.. Your self proclaimed 'beauty' is gonna fade away, along with all your sponsors.. We'll see who gets the last laugh then.. =D
Meaning I can't afford to pay for anything except to pay for making myself pretty....
So I was being sarcastic by saying.. actually I don't even pay for THAT!
of course I know tht(Physically) the attractive get less attractive with age.
and the unattractive get even more unattractive. :p
self proclaimed or otherwise.
Don't forget that we readers (and sponsors and advertisers) brought you up this high.. We can bring you back down to the start as well.. =D
Couldn't help but to comment. You shouldn't use profanities to the commenters here. You've always shown yourself to be a classy and educated person, ıt's disturbing when you use all these profanities. I know some of these comments are hurtful and harsh and I wouldn't be able to handle them but I guess as a more public person, you'd know how to handle it. You did a good job in the past, you've always responded with a sarcastic, witty comment minus the bad language so keep it up.
It's tough isn't it but hang on in there and never lose your cool. I know easier said than done but you've done it before, you can do it again.
Just don't lose your charm and grace babe, people can say what they want and they have a right to but ultimately you know yourself well and don't owe anyone any explanations.
Just saying...chin up yea?
Kudos to you for keeping your chin up admist all this bullshit. You've still got readers who think you're fabulous! Muchos Love, V
P/s- to that particular anonymous person.... thanks for that threat.
But before u hit that send email button you might want to wait a week or so.
There's a whole new team of sponsors on board for an exciting 2011 ! So my readers can look forward to new things, new experiences and fabulous contests and prizes !
I'm still ironing out a few contractual details so I can only announce the 2011 sponsors towards the end of this month.
:) The list of sponsors you're looking at in my side bar right now is still the 2010 one.
Time togehter will tell if this new man is a sex-pat or geniune.
Common ideas and goals, time spent having fun and developing a relationship will quickly tell you if he sees you as a women or sex toy.
You are experienced enough to know the signs that a creep gives.
I wish you well!
David
I was on match ages ago... met a few good ppl... but mostly dodgy ppl who like put really old pics of themselves on (when they were 20kgs lighter).. lol... so yeah i quickly tired of it.
Not tht i have anything against fat ppl or what... but i hate it when ppl deliberately deceive others.. i mean like for what?? u want ppl to like u for who u are right. and the truth will come out eventually!
WLd ppl be interested if i talk about my experiences with internet dating in the past??? I think it wld be a laugh.
I blogged about it briefly in 2009- post here http://www.hollyjean.sg/2009/09/is-it-too-soon-to-date-again.html
-MB
team-moonberry.blogspot.com
Just wanna say that I really enjoy reading your blog cos you have opinions and are not afraid to let your readers know them, and I really respect that. Your blog is never boring and though some issues which you write about don't really have any direct impact on me, they do serve to bring to attention important points that most other people skim over or totally avoid talking about.
You rock, babe, and keep writing everything you want and maybe even more, if only just to rile your haters. :D
This post of yours really is intriguing to people! Like the way u responded to those haters.
Keep up the good work babe!
@observer- I am dating someone now. The guy I took to fullerton. Not expat though.
when you say you have "sponsors" does that mean sugar daddy or just normal business sponsors?
If normal business you should clarify cause you give unhappy guys ammunition to attack to.
Much of what u say is true and no doubt some guys don't like to hear it.
Seems the exceptions are white guys that actually date regular gals and or hi-so, but IMO those are relatively uncommon.
The pay to play girls give guys what they think they need, attention, flattery, sex, etc etc whatever. It suits those involved and "to each their own" Frankly I have no attraction to most of those p4p girls not based on looks alone but on mentality.
Thank God I am an apolitical, asexual, atheist LOL
my sponsors are companies/brands which pay me in kind and/or in cash so that I would use their products.