Saturday, February 05, 2011

Sex-Pats

Important Context: This was written a year ago, when I was single, months before meeting GB. GB is not a sex-pat. None of my boyfriends were sex-pats.)

A Sex-Pat is a person (generally a white man) who could not get laid back home (well, not as easily anyway), who moves to an Asian country, and suddenly finds that prosititues and SPGs treat him like the man he always knew he was.
The difference between a sex-tourist and a sex-pat is the sex-pat lives in the country, a sex-tourist is a short stay visitor.

It’s a power rush. To suddenly be desireable (even if it is only to a much less discerning crowd of women...) can get to any man’s head, and inflate it. (NOTE: Not all women in Singapore fall to their feet just because they’re white.)

I have recently started seeing a white man. And I like him a lot. He is also at this stage quite smitten by me. But I am wary and extremely careful with this one… because he is very new to Singapore. Why is this bad??? It’s because I am afraid that he will fall into the sex-pat pit. I’m not saying he’s a sex-pat, he’s not…

But look around us… yes, there are good white men in Singapore, but there are many who aren't good people. You know what they say- Play with shit, Smell like shit.

The many pitfalls awaiting any new white expat in Singapore include:

Prostitution
Chewing gum is banned… along with some relatively harmless video games, and movies and books. It will cost a Singaporean more money to enter the casino than it would to get laid by a tranny. You can only smoke within yellow boxes. You cannot take your dogs into the malls. But prostitution?

Prostituution is a thriving business in Singapore. Me thinks… somebody may have missed something here???

Geylang is not the only sex district in Singapore. Right on our world renowned shopping district, the same street that houses Vertu, Cartier and the likes, we have Orchard Towers; the 4 floors of whores. It is home to several escort services, sleazy bars and barfront brothels.

One of my friends (years ago), recounted a tale of when he first arrived in Singapore, and was looking for a pub to watch footy. Stumbled into Orchard Towers to watch a match, and when he left, he left with 2 hot girls who wanted to bed him. Thinking- YES! I am a desirable white man in Asia!... he brought them back to his place, only to be shocked that they demanded $400 for it.

Tip: If you really wanted to just watch football mate, you should've, would've, could've gone into Muddy Murphy's right next door...

KTV joints
It’s appalling how many men (Singaporean included!) patronise sleazy KTV joints. It’s not all as innocent as they pretend it to be. I often hear some male friends talking about which mamasan has the best girls at which joints… how much they cost and how far each one will go.

It’s amazing how much such establishments can get away with legally. (Am I the only one here that is secretly snickering away everytime a KTV joint gets raided by the cops, and you see pictures of all the idiots trying to cover their faces?)

Sleazy Massages
These are dodgy massage parlours where the massage probably isn’t that great but they offer clients a happy ending.

Social Escorts
I have never understood why a man would pay for a woman and keep it social. Pay her for sex, yes, it makes sense. But to pay a woman so she can chat with you over dinner??? *cynical laugh*
And even if a new white man can manage the willpower and pride to avoid all these pitfalls… just an innocent trip down to Attica could just as easily make him fall down that sex-pat pit.

So, you see now why I have reservations on this guy I like? A new white man in Singapore faces so many pitfalls.

Of course, after going through the sex-pat phase, many white men (stung, broken, jaded, but hopefully not diseased) will come to see Sex-Patism for what it really is (though some just never leave the candy store).

57 comments:

  1. goodluck with you and this guy, hopefully you will help him avoid the sex-pat pits :)

    have a nice day! :)

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  2. Gosh, even today I know of white guys (friends and acquaintances alike) who fall into the sex-pat cycle. Then when they actually find a woman worth dating, they have no idea how to handle her because everything goes against their sex-pat lifestyle. It's unfair for women who are dating but tragic for the men who insist on living such a shallow lifestyle.

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  3. @Jassy - no.. no... I am not dating this guy anymore. This article was written 1 year ago, when i was single and dating men.

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  4. CeLestiNa10:24 am

    Wow! tats fast of u seeing someone already & again its a white guy : )

    Go slow babe. Real slow tis time so tat u wnt get hurt so quickly

    I knw we women all yearn to love & to be loved. But yet we need to hold our emotions & feeling for awhile b4 we throw ourself in

    I always enjoy reading yr love life stories though it may nt b a bed of roses but tats life rite?

    All the best & hope to hear how u guys meet : )

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  5. Anonymous11:57 am

    Hmmm is this guy sounds like that Andy guy you dated last year...

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  6. @bitchywitchy- I hear ya girlfriend! I know exactly what ur talking abt. :)

    @ Celestina- no.. not dating now... this was written 1 year ago (as stated at the top of the article)

    @anonymous 11.57- i have no comment :D

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  7. Jenny2:10 pm

    do you ever date non-white men? i mean nothing malicious and cannot proclaim that i know you any more than what's on this blog, but it does seem to me maybe you're looking for love in the wrong places, races....

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  8. yes. i have dated asian men.. of late, most never went beyond a couple of dates though.

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  9. Local boy4:18 pm

    SPG. Serves you right you get dumped/heartbroken/time wasted every time and back on the shelf. With your pinkerton obsession with white men, it's quite unlikely you'll go anywhere.

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  10. Anonymous5:09 pm

    Hi Holly, just an innocent kaypoh question... any reason why u chose not to post this when u wrote it a year ago? :P

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  11. Anonymous6:54 pm

    I think that's the problem with you then, Holly. If you continue in this route then I bet you are wasting your youth away for sure.

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  12. Alyssa7:40 pm

    this kind of girl. not angmoh don't like. superficial. why dun u move to the states, u can whore on all the white guys u want.

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  13. anon5.09pm- no special reason. WHen I wrote this a year ago, it was posted on my other portal (ns.sg) so I didn't repeat it on this blog.

    But the other portals archives got wiped out in the revamp this year. So I just thought of reposting it on my main blog (this blog) instead.

    It's funny how so many commentors, despite my disclaimer at the start of the post, still think that this is current.... and tht I am dating a new expat right this moment.

    Oh well!

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  14. Anonymous10:34 pm

    Hi HJ

    Why do you include Attica in the list?? Just curious ..

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  15. attica is now full of whores. And i dont mean just the poor sluts.. but i mean actual working girls who charge $.

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  16. Non-Sexpat Expat10:12 am

    Wow...dating a new white expat again? So soon after your last one???? (lucky he's rid of you!) I don't see how you're different from the whores in Attica...only that you don't charge money. Best deal out there if you ask me. Can I have your number?

    I've been in town for 2 years and yes, there're tons of chicks throwing themselves at white men and some of them are actually quite hot. and for a man, if a decent looking girl put herself on a silver platter, of course I'll takt it up. And no, we don't just play around for the rest of our lives and it's also not because we can't get laid at home. Some expats can't. Some can. But when we finally meet the girl whom we think is worth our time, most of us actually settle down and commit.

    I suggest you stop whoring yourself. You're not ugly so why the hurry? I can see you're dating white men one after another with no break in between. Why so desperate? And any white guy who reads your blog and see how you date and throw yourself at white men wouldn't take you seriously anyway. Yes, my comment is harsh but think about it, there is some truth to it.

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  17. Anonymous10:34 am

    jealous much holly? so what if they are whores? they're still human, and what gives u the right to put urself on higher ground to condemn them? so what if u are educated? and just because u are, does that make you a better person? just cos u don't charge for sex it doesn't make you one? :)

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  18. @Non-Sexpat Expat : Excuse me asshole, but please learn to read before you comment.

    I did not say that I was dating "a new white expat" again.. so soon after my "last one".

    I said (quite a few times now, including at the start of the post itself)... that this piece on sex-pats was written A YEAR AGO.

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  19. Anonymous12:28 pm

    hey, what's up with the names calling? as quoted from you " And i dont mean just the poor sluts.. but the actual working girls who charge $" meaning: besides the poor sluts, there are also prositudes.

    if the normal- on -the -street party gals go to attica to meet white men are called "the poor sluts", what makes you so different from them since you are also seeking a white man to marry?

    i don't go to attica at all but i know my friends/colleagues who work in banks or corporate world in managerial roles probably earning much more than what you are earning as a blogger, they aren't poor nor will i judge them as sluts just because they go to attica. in fact, one of my ex colleague who is a female european met her husband there.

    if you call those above as "the poor sluts" - the gals who go to attica, can i ask what makes you different from them and what do you bring to the table besides a pretty face? do you have the finanical ability to share the finanical burden of a mortage loan, raising a family or do you just want to depend on your white man to pay for rent, expenses while you just take care of your own expenses of looking pretty?

    sorry to rant but i seriously don't like the names calling.

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  20. And yes, btw, you CAN have my number... but there's a queue you'll have to join before I'll fuck you.

    After all... I AM giving it out free... so that should explain the long line.

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  21. @ anon above,
    tht last comment of mine was meant for Non-Sexpat Expat commmentor... but your comment got wedged in between.

    here's my reply to you :

    I said attica is full of poor sluts and whores. Meaning they pack it to the brim. But it doesn't mean that every woman in there is a poor slut or whore.

    Just because ur rich/successful or whatever friends go to attica does not instantly mean I am calling them poor sluts or whores.

    I myself have only been to attica twice, one on joanne's hen night a few years ago, and once more recently with a group of guys and girls. And it's merely an observation of how the crowd there has changed to include whores (as in the profession) .. and it was not like tht years ago.

    This argument has nothing to do with your ex colleage meeting her husband there (WTF?? what is the relevance to sexpatism??). It has nothing to do with how much your friends earn... and especially nothing to do with how much anyone earns in comparison to me.

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  22. Anonymous12:52 pm

    So WHO exactly do you label as poor sluts at attica since you clearly distinguished the 2 groups; poor sluts & the prositudes?

    i am referring to your name calling like i mentioned in my comment. please READ carefully.

    i am just telling you the type of people i know who goes there as attica is not full of prositudes cos i am not sure who you lable as poor sluts. please do tell me your definition.

    and also answer my question, what do you bring to the table besides a pretty face and looking after your own expenses of being pretty? if your white man loses his job, would you be able to hold down the fort based on what you are doing?

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  23. Poor sluts as in girls who go to attica looking to sleep with someone.

    (doesn't have to just be attica though.. there can be poor sluts elsewhere)

    "poor" as in.. oh I wouldn't want to be you. Not as in you have no money so you are "poor".

    "name- calling" is upsetting you? So if I said - attica is full of women who sleep around casually, I i pity these women and wouldn't want to be them... then you would shut up and not complain? oh okay.

    AND WHO THE FUCK are you to say "and also answer my question, what do you bring to the table besides a pretty face and looking after your own expenses of being pretty? "

    I don't want to marry you or be in any position where I would have to financially save your ass. So, What business is it of yours?

    By the way... Pretty comes easy for me. It doesn't cost $. And things which do cost $ such as clothes and make up and other material stuff... I don't even have to "take care" of that, as it comes sponsored anyway.

    Have I given you even more reason to hate me? good.

    And the best part is... I don't even know you, you're insignificant to me.

    ReplyDelete
  24. by the way, it's prostitutes, not prostituDes.

    You can spell it any way you want, but I just thought I'd do you a favour and mention it since you repeatedly spelt it wrongly, so it's obviously not a typo on your part.

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  25. Anonymous1:16 pm

    nope, i don't hate you, i just pity you having your heart broken so many times by white men and yet still clueless of what you have done to drive these men away.

    you need to bring more to the table than just a pretty face. you don't get it, do you?

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  26. Anonymous1:20 pm

    poor sluts are labelled as going to attica or somewhere to sleep with somone ( white men as plenty of white men go to attica)

    if that's the case, what makes them different from you? you are also seeking to meet white men to sleep with them, hoping they will take care of you for your whole life!

    ReplyDelete
  27. ok. That's fair enough :)

    I don't hate you either... (it's impossible to hate someone I don't actually know)

    But don't pity me lah. Save it for the things that should matter in your life.

    I didn't drive GB away btw. If I ever needed a testimonial of sorts for the GF I was to him in those 5 months, it would be quite a good testimonial :)

    It's just the wrong time, and wrong person.

    I know exactly what I want in life, and wht I am looking for in a partner...

    As for what I bring to that "table".. the right person will see exactly what I bring. If I state all the things ($, skills, virtues, etc etc) here ... it would be pointless, cos ur not the one who needs to know what I can give in a relationship.

    So i hope you won;t be offended if I don't answer you.

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  28. Anonymous1:58 pm

    By the way, it's ex colleague not ex colleage!! :) just thought i would do you a favour and mention it since you obviously have no colleagues and probably that's why you misspelled it :D

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  29. that's a typo.

    Which is why I stated tht you wrote ProstituDes much more than once, and so I safely assumed it was not a typo and that you had indeed thought that it was prostitudes and not prostitutes.

    :D

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  30. Anonymous2:10 pm

    Anonymous 1:58 PM don't be so Boh Liao can? Since when is not having colleagues a bad thing?

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  31. Afish2:11 pm

    Seriously holly, you should just ignore such people.

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  32. Anonymous2:22 pm

    Hi Holly! that mofo didn't say "ProstituDes", even worse he/she said "Prositudes"! lols. such a mofo, should really pity his/her ownself! got so much time to pity others.

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  33. Non-Sexpat Expat2:47 pm

    Oh yes, I read wrongly. So you're not dating another white boy NOW but I bet you soon would be. And your next guy would be another white "ang moh" or "gwai low" nonetheless. Come on, surprise us, date a non-white non-expat will you?

    WE white boys know you'll be on the prowl for a new white men whenever you break up with one. Match.com yes? Some of us on match.com do know each other just so you know! My advice is, keep your private affairs, well, private. Sure it's your blog and you can write whatever you want to, but when you tell your new white boy date that you're a blogger, we would go have a look and alas, we don't quite like what we see. If you're a white boy, what do you say to a girl who only seems to date white guys? Just saying

    So what's your number? I'll join the queue seems you're not bad looking!

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  34. jimbo3:11 pm

    haha pwned Anonymous loser.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Anonymous3:12 pm

    "By the way... Pretty comes easy for me. It doesn't cost $. And things which do cost $ such as clothes and make up and other material stuff... I don't even have to "take care" of that, as it comes sponsored anyway."

    Lol, give it another couple of years.. Your self proclaimed 'beauty' is gonna fade away, along with all your sponsors.. We'll see who gets the last laugh then.. =D

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  36. *rolls eyes* - I was just rubbing it in your face, because u speak like u know everything about me. Like u were saying tht " what do you bring to the table besides a pretty face and looking after your own expenses of being pretty? "

    Meaning I can't afford to pay for anything except to pay for making myself pretty....

    So I was being sarcastic by saying.. actually I don't even pay for THAT!

    of course I know tht(Physically) the attractive get less attractive with age.

    and the unattractive get even more unattractive. :p

    self proclaimed or otherwise.

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  37. Anonymous4:01 pm

    Hey i'm none white and i'm in the Q! Yay!

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  38. Anonymous4:52 pm

    I'm not too sure what will happen after i click the Send email button to ask all your sponsors and advert clients to drop you from their list.. Thesedays, i think, beauty is easily replaceable.. More so when we're talking about someone who's almost past her prime.. Don't think they'll mind having you replaced with a younger chick..

    Don't forget that we readers (and sponsors and advertisers) brought you up this high.. We can bring you back down to the start as well.. =D

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  39. Neutra4:57 pm

    Hey HJ

    Couldn't help but to comment. You shouldn't use profanities to the commenters here. You've always shown yourself to be a classy and educated person, ıt's disturbing when you use all these profanities. I know some of these comments are hurtful and harsh and I wouldn't be able to handle them but I guess as a more public person, you'd know how to handle it. You did a good job in the past, you've always responded with a sarcastic, witty comment minus the bad language so keep it up.

    It's tough isn't it but hang on in there and never lose your cool. I know easier said than done but you've done it before, you can do it again.

    Just don't lose your charm and grace babe, people can say what they want and they have a right to but ultimately you know yourself well and don't owe anyone any explanations.

    Just saying...chin up yea?

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  40. Anonymous5:03 pm

    Hello bubby,

    Kudos to you for keeping your chin up admist all this bullshit. You've still got readers who think you're fabulous! Muchos Love, V

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  41. to everyone- Thanks for ur support. I know I shldn't bother responding to hate comments... but I just cldn't sit by and do nothing :S

    P/s- to that particular anonymous person.... thanks for that threat.

    But before u hit that send email button you might want to wait a week or so.

    There's a whole new team of sponsors on board for an exciting 2011 ! So my readers can look forward to new things, new experiences and fabulous contests and prizes !

    I'm still ironing out a few contractual details so I can only announce the 2011 sponsors towards the end of this month.

    :) The list of sponsors you're looking at in my side bar right now is still the 2010 one.

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  42. oh.. and anonymous 4.01pm - Then it must be a mistake! (KIDDING!)

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  43. Holly Jean,

    Time togehter will tell if this new man is a sex-pat or geniune.

    Common ideas and goals, time spent having fun and developing a relationship will quickly tell you if he sees you as a women or sex toy.

    You are experienced enough to know the signs that a creep gives.

    I wish you well!

    David

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  44. Hi holly, im curious, are you on Match.com?

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  45. nope not at the moment. and not last year either.

    I was on match ages ago... met a few good ppl... but mostly dodgy ppl who like put really old pics of themselves on (when they were 20kgs lighter).. lol... so yeah i quickly tired of it.

    Not tht i have anything against fat ppl or what... but i hate it when ppl deliberately deceive others.. i mean like for what?? u want ppl to like u for who u are right. and the truth will come out eventually!

    WLd ppl be interested if i talk about my experiences with internet dating in the past??? I think it wld be a laugh.

    I blogged about it briefly in 2009- post here http://www.hollyjean.sg/2009/09/is-it-too-soon-to-date-again.html

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  46. Anonymous11:08 pm

    some of these comments are really just appalling. i really have no idea where ppl get off thinking it's ok to make such rude comments to a person one barely knows.

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  47. Anonymous11:39 pm

    Its beyond me how so many people can overlook (or choose to ignore??) the disclaimer at the start of the post! Guess you should've just deleted the 'I have recently started seeing a white man...' para lol. Anyway don't be fazed by the comments... Like how you respond to them with wit and humour! You go girl!

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  48. Anonymous12:22 am

    if u cant tahan the comments put option to comment for what? approve the bad comments for what? to get pity out of people? please la.

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  49. Anonymous2:16 am

    I love seeing how people can't win in an argument and start using threat. Reminds me of this little boy in school who lost in a war of words and started to bawl :D Probably now started to bald too

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  50. Since this was written a year ago, so what happened afterwards btwn u and this guy?

    -MB
    team-moonberry.blogspot.com

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  51. Hi Holly,

    Just wanna say that I really enjoy reading your blog cos you have opinions and are not afraid to let your readers know them, and I really respect that. Your blog is never boring and though some issues which you write about don't really have any direct impact on me, they do serve to bring to attention important points that most other people skim over or totally avoid talking about.

    You rock, babe, and keep writing everything you want and maybe even more, if only just to rile your haters. :D

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  52. Anonymous2:23 pm

    Whoarr Holly,

    This post of yours really is intriguing to people! Like the way u responded to those haters.

    Keep up the good work babe!

    ReplyDelete
  53. observer12:25 pm

    So much for saying that you're not dating an expat when you're already seeing a new white man! Hypocritical much? Saying all these just to make yourself look good for the post when you're lying about not dating someone.

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  54. @MB, the guy is dating somone now (last I heard frm him). Still friends.

    @observer- I am dating someone now. The guy I took to fullerton. Not expat though.

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  55. Anonymous11:24 am

    Holly Jean,

    when you say you have "sponsors" does that mean sugar daddy or just normal business sponsors?

    If normal business you should clarify cause you give unhappy guys ammunition to attack to.

    Much of what u say is true and no doubt some guys don't like to hear it.
    Seems the exceptions are white guys that actually date regular gals and or hi-so, but IMO those are relatively uncommon.

    The pay to play girls give guys what they think they need, attention, flattery, sex, etc etc whatever. It suits those involved and "to each their own" Frankly I have no attraction to most of those p4p girls not based on looks alone but on mentality.

    Thank God I am an apolitical, asexual, atheist LOL

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  56. oh..most definitely... my sponsors are not Sugardaddies... god no...

    my sponsors are companies/brands which pay me in kind and/or in cash so that I would use their products.

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  57. Anonymous11:17 pm

    Ha... Ha.... Ha.... All Wasting time only. Arguing for nothing! In the end the soil gonna eat us all up! Why Argue? Make Peace... For those who are reading, you don't like you can read something from wikipedia... I guess you will still have problem with wiki as well...You read this blog of your own accord... Nobody is holding you at gunpoint and making you read this blog... No offence.. cheers and have some beers!

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