Monday, January 24, 2011

GB & I Split Up

I would have told you this earlier, but I just wanted the dust to settle a bit first. I haven't even told my frends yet.

GB and I have decided to split up.
Late last year, and this year, we started talking about our goals for the future. GB has just started a new job this year, and has many big decisions and changes to go through on this new career path. It's exciting, and it's very promising, so I am happy for him.

But you know what that entails? We talked about it and it means that he is very unlikely to be able to settle down (get married) for the next 3 to 5 years.

GB is a good guy. He's very trustworthy, truthful, kind, intelligent, generous and is such a gentleman. And some day, he will be ready to settle down and start a family. Although I have enjoyed the last 5 months being his partner, and sharing so many things with him, I cannot see myself waiting 3 to 5 years to settle down and start a family with him.

It's not a matter of patience, or "good things come with time".... it's a matter of the heart. I feel I am ready for this whole new chapter of my life, and I want to find someone who feels the same too. And that someone will be the right person for me.
I also have a gut feeling that even after 3 or 5 years, he will not be ready to settle down with me... maybe I am just not the right one for him.

But the bottom line is, I am not willing to wait that minimum of 3 years. I don't want to hang on to this relationship... only to find myself resenting him after a year or so, because he is holding me back from the life I so desire.

I also don't want to end up marrying him sooner than he is ready for it (because of circumstance or manipulation or pressure)... because all that is not what marriage is about. Marriage and family is not just a tick in the box.

When GB thinks of marriage, he thinks it is something he will eventually one day end up doing, he thinks entrapment, he thinks of kids who will burden him for the next 20 years, he thinks of a lifestyle change which he is not prepared for.

When I think of marriage, I think of love. A happy, fulfiling and powerful kind of love. I think of giving (and in turn receiving) unparallelled comfort, happiness and such promise for the future together.

It has got to feel right. And to feel right, you not only need the right person... but you also need to meet this person at that right time. As great a catch as GB is, he is not the right one for me, and I am not the right one for him.

I know some of you will criticise me for my decision. Perhaps some of you are even laughing and gloating. You are how you are... nothing I do will ever change your opinion of me.

But for those readers who have always been supportive, and been on my side through good times and bad... I just want to say- do not worry. I've been though much worse disappointments in life. I always come out of it ok. And I still believe in love. Perhaps more than ever.

x
holly jean

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Some Quick Updates This Week:


If you're fortunate enough to have someone who loves you to spend Valentine's Day with, then try your luck with my Game of Love. The prize is a romantic 4 course dinner for 2 at Oosh for Valentine's ...
(Those who have problems putting their entries in because of technical errors, my sincere apologies, please be patient. the IT peeps are trying to figure out why. The closing date is 6th Feb, so still have time. )

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SundayNine's CNY sale started yesterday! Quote "Holly" for an additional 5% discount on the already low sale prices!


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It's A GIRL THING
I've been invited to the ultimate fashion bazaar happening this weekend. It's called SHOP. It's a concept similar to Shecky’s “Girls Night Out’ events taking place all over the United States from New York to Los Angeles.


You can check out their event page on facebook.

Do you want to go ???
WHERE? Customs House Pavilion (Next to Fullerton Bay Hotel)
WHEN? Saturday, 29 January 2010, 1-6pm
Tickets? $20 if you book now from HEATbranding , or $30 at the door
Email shop@heatbranding.com or call (65) 6648 4315 for enquiries


With this $20 ticket, you get...
1) Exclusive access to closed door sales (up to 70% off)
2) A goodie bag worth $200 !!!!!!!!!! ( will show you what's in my goodie bag when I go next weekend!!)
3) Complimentary canapes and drinks
4) Free makeovers by Toni&Guy and other beauty partners
5) Free entry and complimentary drinks at SHOP’s official afterparty @ Stereolab for you and two friends!

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p/s- If you're sad and single, stop feeling sorry for yourself! Go read my newest article - January is Break Up Month.
P/s - to the girl who suggested getting Nizoral 2% from the pharmacy... If you were here right now, I'd kiss you! No more dandruff!!! Finally!! :) (Thank you)
P/s 2 - Going to Green Hornet Premier tonight... wearing my new dress (show u pics soon!)

32 comments:

  1. I totally understand how you felt towards this relationship. Wanna say do what's best for yourself and you'll find happiness. Love yourself more =)

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  2. geraldine5:43 pm

    be strong holly. i know you will be fine! (:

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  3. Bridget5:56 pm

    You are really brave to make the decision and break up!

    Its hard to leave anyone we care for. But when push come to shove, we have to do something and not just be in a relationship cos we are comfortable.

    Kudos to you Holly =)

    Many would have dragged on and become unhappy. I hope you find your guy soon

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  4. Anonymous5:59 pm

    Hi Holly, what a brave decision! It takes a courageous person who truly believes in love and more importantly that she deserves it in all its wholeheartedness to make a choice like that. I applaud you and whoever you end up marrying is a very lucky fella.

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  5. :(

    hope you're coping fine babe. totally understand what you mean, and i'm sure mr right will pop by really soon!

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  6. Anonymous6:27 pm

    You're such a strong and fine woman, Holly, you'll have no problem coming out of this one. It's hard for sure, but then, it's only a matter of time... (It sounds like to me as if GB is relatively young, is he? I find that dating guys of that age range (below 32) generally has this issue, having had similar experience myself.

    One day, you'll find the right one! Someone who'll love you and be willing to settle down with you.

    Until then, feel the love from your readers! Cheers!

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  7. Less than 3 years to find someone and then settle down is really a short time but not to say impossible. Just look ahead :)

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  8. Cheryl7:56 pm

    Heya Holly,

    Been reading your blog for sometime. I'm so glad you still have faith in finding the right person. I remember when I was single for a while, I use to wonder how I'd ever meet the ultimate ONE for you in a world so big.. But I did - and I realise that, when you least expect it and seek for it, it will come your way!

    X
    C

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  9. Anonymous8:03 pm

    Holly, seriously, why don't u try dating an Asian?!

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  10. My previous relationship ended for similar reasons except that the guy was a bastard too so i had even more reason to be glad it's over.

    I'm glad u seem to be taking it quite ok Holly... U will do just fine and i totally understand your reasons.

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  11. hey holly, i seldom drop you a note but i do pop by once in a while and it's always nice to know youre doing well. this is not the cheeriest blog entry but hey, i believe the right one for you will come along when you least expect it! (be prepared to be swept off your feet)
    until then, love life as usual! hope to see you at the ettusais' meet up soon! (will probably be the last one with you girls!) take care!

    ps- hope lola is doing fine too! (:

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  12. Like everyone you can sound down sometimes but I think you also come across as a fairly optimistic person who looks forward to the future with a positive outlook. You sound like you will pick yourself up just fine :)

    I agree with you about not wasting both parties time. Each of you might be a good person but just the wrong piece of a puzzle for each other.

    People who will criticize you just for moving on, obviously has no idea how a real relationship works in the real world. Not all relationship ends because of some earth shattering, dramatic climax. I think more people should learn how to let go of things if it isn't working out; have seen too many unhealthy relationships that are just limping along.

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  13. HJ,

    It appears that you parted ways with GB amicably.

    There is wisdom in your decision.

    By this time in your life you know the difference between Mr. Rightnow, and Mr. Right.

    Wishing and praying for you!

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  14. hey jeannie...

    GB is good... but there's better days... gd luck, take gd care... im sure u will...

    D-GUY.

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  15. Denise12:00 am

    Hi Holly, it takes a lot of courage to do what you did, I'm really proud of you, to step into the unknown once again, to find that true love you know you deserve :)

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  16. Anonymous12:35 am

    Hey babe! Am sure you will find the one, especially when you least expected it, coz it happened to me! Keep loving and be loved! *hugs*

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  17. Sure God has his plans for you & there's always a reason behind everything.. Cheer up babe! *hugz*.

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  18. Hello Holly, forgetting is the tough part and no point asking you to forget him like quick. No matter what decision you made, it is your choice and since it is your choice, if it turns out badly, you cant whine or complain as much because you chose it yourself. You are strong and this r/s maybe another part of your life. Maybe it will just draw you closer to your Mr. Right. Hold on there and I and we all know you can do it.

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  19. Anonymous3:51 am

    Hey babe,

    I think you are really brave to make such decision.
    Yup, i understand how you feel and a person like you will surely find true love soon.

    Be strong!
    Big hugs..

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  20. my first reaction was WHAT?!! but upon hearing you out i'm actually with you on this one .. .. I perfectly agree with what you said about "find(ing) myself resenting him after a year or so because he is holding me back from the life I so desire." .. ... it must suck to have to come to a decision such as this but I guess what has to be done has to be done.

    you've always come across to me as someone who knows what she wants and works towards it .. ... I admire the courage it must have took for you to make such a decision. I hope things turn out well for you. *hugs*

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  21. CeLestiNa12:58 pm

    HJ
    You make me think alot after reading wat happened to u.

    Yes i knw it hurts bad, but not everyone can b as brave as u. You are indeed 1 woman who knws wat u want in life. And i wana be the same. As much as it hurts, we cant let emotion overcome facts.

    Pick yrself up ea time you fall. The road ahead of you has something beautiful awaits you : )

    Hugs

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  22. CeLestiNa12:58 pm

    HJ
    You make me think alot after reading wat happened to u.

    Yes i knw it hurts bad, but not everyone can b as brave as u. You are indeed 1 woman who knws wat u want in life. And i wana be the same. As much as it hurts, we cant let emotion overcome facts.

    Pick yrself up ea time you fall. The road ahead of you has something beautiful awaits you : )

    Hugs

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  23. Athenlea1:40 pm

    Dear Holly,

    I can understand how you feel. Yup, continue to believe in love. That's the way! :D

    Hugs

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  24. Alsocan1:42 pm

    Hi HJ,

    i have shared my experiences with dragging relationships in ur "Karma" post.

    this will pass, the road will be clearer in the future.

    cheers

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  25. Anonymous2:25 pm

    I understand how you feel. Though I am nowhere near the settling stage, i would have done the same thing if I was in your position. At the end it will always boil down to our happiness. =)

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  26. Sarah4:44 pm

    GB is just not that into you afterall.

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  27. Support your decision. Takes a real woman to know when to let go of that person you love but just doesn't share the same ideals and dreams. Hugs.

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  28. Support your decision. Takes a real woman to know when to let go of that person you love but just doesn't share the same ideals and dreams. Hugs.

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  29. Anonymous11:17 pm

    Well i am a guy and i know. He is not really into u at all because if he really into you and he will see his future with you right now. The wait of 3 to 5 years , alas, just a good-guy kind of reason of not wanting to commit but to continue to play in the field. Another note, don't sleep with him for that 3 to 5 years. Move on and I wish someone worthy of you will arrive to embrace u in the bliss of love with marriage.

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  30. Hey, yes. Must say. Glad you were strong to let it go. Now be single for a bit. PLEEEAASE. And try to maybe discover more about yourself - get some hobbies, get a project going, read.

    If you do interesting things, are able to be along and happy (independent) men will then find you more interesting and desirable.

    Take a deep breath.
    Good luck Holly

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  31. Anonymous8:01 am

    I know how it hurts. definately been there, but after 6 months, we;ll probably be "Who's GB?". Water under the bridge. You'll be ok, girlie!

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  32. Anonymous4:31 pm

    I just can not imagine with incredibly blog greatly that helped me. God bless you “Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.” - Benjamin Franklin

    ReplyDelete