As you probably would have guessed from the vibe I've been giving out these past couple of weeks... things didn't work out with Andy. We're still friends... but we just weren't a good match.
So had a mini slump earlier this week.... thinking.. why do things seem to work out for everyone else but me????? !!! :(
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Had coffee with Mark on Thursday before he left to watch football in S.Africaaaaa. He's been instrumental in pulling me out of my slumps... always has been, I guess after having had such an intense relationship for a year plus, he knows me inside out.
.
And he said something that really resonated in me... he said that I shouldn't feel down whenever a date doesn't work out or ends up being disappointing... because I have a lot going for me, I don't need to settle for someone who doesn't make me happy. All it takes is that ONE MOMENT with that ONE PERSON for everything to change.
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And you know what? He's so right.
So I am optimistic... and back to my happy self again. :)
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Was at the Botanic Gardens for Opera In The Park yesterday evening.
I'm no fan of the opera.. nor of grass and soil. So you'd ask.. wtf were you doing there? Well.. it was a first date. And even though my date knew enough about me to really impress me (He even knew my Chinese zodiac was the Monkey!)... he didn't know that soil repulses me.
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And yes, I could smell it as soon as we got there. It smelt wet, sharp and earthy... that's how I would describe it. I knew where we were going so I made it a point not to wear flip flops. Heaven forbid I actually touch the soil!
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He did bring a huge blanket to sit on (yay!)... and a nice bottle of wine. The ambiance, music and good conversation more than made up for all the soil that was around. I'm not kidding. I had a great time.
I actually like it a lot better than Fort Canning because the grounds at the gardens is so much more spacious. I remember all the effort I put into Ballet Under The Stars at fort canning one year.. food and drinks... I even bothered to bring a whole Black Forest cake ( I was goin thru a dessert only for dinner phase ok)... bloody hell, what a mess... and after all that effort setting everything up ( neurotically, no doubt) on waterproof beachmats, plus factoring in the fact that we arrived late... we ended up just watching the damn finale bit. It was like I was finally comfortable and settled... and then everyone started taking their final bows. haha. Hilarious.
The turn out was impressive... I'd say a couple of thousand people at least.. (but I can't really count that well... nor estimate... haha).
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It was a lovely outdoor evening. The weather held up... the sun set slowly, the air was cool... a really great date. Will definitely go down there again when there are other concerts.
.
So had a mini slump earlier this week.... thinking.. why do things seem to work out for everyone else but me????? !!! :(
.
Had coffee with Mark on Thursday before he left to watch football in S.Africaaaaa. He's been instrumental in pulling me out of my slumps... always has been, I guess after having had such an intense relationship for a year plus, he knows me inside out.
.
And he said something that really resonated in me... he said that I shouldn't feel down whenever a date doesn't work out or ends up being disappointing... because I have a lot going for me, I don't need to settle for someone who doesn't make me happy. All it takes is that ONE MOMENT with that ONE PERSON for everything to change.
.
And you know what? He's so right.
So I am optimistic... and back to my happy self again. :)
--------------
.
Was at the Botanic Gardens for Opera In The Park yesterday evening.
I'm no fan of the opera.. nor of grass and soil. So you'd ask.. wtf were you doing there? Well.. it was a first date. And even though my date knew enough about me to really impress me (He even knew my Chinese zodiac was the Monkey!)... he didn't know that soil repulses me.
.
And yes, I could smell it as soon as we got there. It smelt wet, sharp and earthy... that's how I would describe it. I knew where we were going so I made it a point not to wear flip flops. Heaven forbid I actually touch the soil!
.
He did bring a huge blanket to sit on (yay!)... and a nice bottle of wine. The ambiance, music and good conversation more than made up for all the soil that was around. I'm not kidding. I had a great time.
I actually like it a lot better than Fort Canning because the grounds at the gardens is so much more spacious. I remember all the effort I put into Ballet Under The Stars at fort canning one year.. food and drinks... I even bothered to bring a whole Black Forest cake ( I was goin thru a dessert only for dinner phase ok)... bloody hell, what a mess... and after all that effort setting everything up ( neurotically, no doubt) on waterproof beachmats, plus factoring in the fact that we arrived late... we ended up just watching the damn finale bit. It was like I was finally comfortable and settled... and then everyone started taking their final bows. haha. Hilarious.
The turn out was impressive... I'd say a couple of thousand people at least.. (but I can't really count that well... nor estimate... haha).
.
It was a lovely outdoor evening. The weather held up... the sun set slowly, the air was cool... a really great date. Will definitely go down there again when there are other concerts.
.
Why do you keep asking Mark for advice - is that healthy? However, yep, I agree the right one will come along. But i really doubt it will be super magical like in the movies.... after all keeping a relaitonship is hard. Esp after two years! (I think that was when the honeymoon started to wane for me)
ReplyDeleteHmm. Anyway, how come it didn't work out with Andy anyway. Was it you or him that ended it?
How odd to write about breaking things off with Andy and going on a new date - all in the same post.
ReplyDeleteMark is only partly right. Although you've got lots of things going for yourself, you need to stop making the same mistakes, and stop setting yourself up for failure.
For example, rapid-fire dating commoditises the whole process. And not giving yourself adequate time between relationships to reflect means that you don't fully take on board what went wrong the last time.
It's a shame Mark doesn't use his insider knowledge to sometimes be a bit more constructively critical.
I never got serious with andy bcos there was a gut feeling from the start that something wasnt right.
ReplyDeletewe're still friends... but decided we don't want t date each other.
It wasn't like some torid break up and then suddenly I am dating again.
It was only a few weeks of dating and seeing how things fit. They don't fit. Move on.
Not as if we were madly in love... and so its so inappropriate for me to be dating again.
... how do you manage to pick yourself up from each failed dating experience to the next so quickly?
ReplyDeletei thought you really liked Andy? your previous comment seem to imply that Andy was just 'another guy you dated'.
I think you used to really like Andy but now when you realised he's a disappointment, you brushed him off like you've never really been keen on him.
ReplyDeleteWell babe, I don't know if it's the clock ticking but seriously, just chill and stop hoping and hoping for men all the time. I know you want to meet a good man, so do most women but you're like on the prowl. Enjoy your youth and make most out of life and yes that can EXCLUDE men.