OK... for those who don't know, The Last Hoorah (also spelt hurrah) is a final performance or effort before retirement.
When I mentioned to one of my guy friends that I might be in an exclusive relationship soon, he went... "Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!"
You see, this friend of mine is getting married soon, and he has fantasies of me being his last hoorah.
I've been debating this concept in my head...
Of course, once I am in a relationship (which I sort of already am ... I think), my friend can kiss his last hurrah goodbye.
But what I'm thinking is... if I were single... then how harmless is a last hurrah? A last fling before taking the plunge into absolute and eternal monogamy? Would I be helping him out or helping him cheat?!
I've been to hen nights where I see my own girlfriends get out of control and start getting it on with the strippers and what not. I don't know ... is it really harmless?
I think even a kiss is cheating. Yet I have funny standards.... if my fiance felt the need for one last hoorah.... I would burn his house down. I myself don't have an urge to get a last hoorah in for myself... monogamy does not scare me, in fact, I relish it. The comfort, the familiarity, the security.
But having someone choose me to be HIS last hoorah... I have to say, is somewhat flattering.
What do you think? Would you agree to be someone's last hoorah? Would you accept if your partner had one last hoorah? DO YOU want a last hoorah?
Or do you subscribe to the belief that... once a cheat, always a cheat. There's never really is a last hoorah... for those who want a hoorah in the first place?
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Comments
when your friend said he wants you to be his last hurrah, you mean this to say that he's asked to sleep with you before he gets married? and you're considering it?
@anon4.40- haha.. ditto.
@sophia- wld only consider it if i were single.. though I am sorta almost dating someone exclusively now, so i wldnt consider it anymore. but thought it wld be interesting to discuss.
@anon7.57- I do see your point. Yet this last hoorah thing is mooore common than we think :(
@slegna- I agree. but what's "kwim"?
@anon9.46- yeah.. i do agree tht ppl who approach it tht way.. actually view marriage as the end of something good (freedom etc) instead of the start of something wonderful.
How would you respond to your husband/wife going for a last hoorah? That oh its ok, he's my husband, but he did **** with another lady before marrying me? The thought of it is disgusting and being someone's last hoorah is Not flattering to say the least.
The idea and thought of someone even thinking being a last hoorah is flattering is disgusting and would how far would you believe that a person who believes in monogamy would like to think that being a last hoorah is flattering? I feel you're contradicting yourself HJ.
If you dont think its right, shouldnt you not think its right for your friends too?! Helping your friend to cheat is. shameful.
Only those who don't get chosen and are not part of men's fantasies would cry SLUT! lol... think about it.. most extreme pro-feminists are dyke looking/ugly girls... who don't get the benefits of being a pretty girl in the first place. LOLS
I mean if you think about it, why would he wanna have a "slut" as his last hoorah. Im pretty sure thats not what he's gonna be looking for....
Just a thought ;)
You make it seem that not being 'chosen' as a last hurrah is a hateful thing, and enough to cause such bitterness so as to point fingers and call Holly a "slut". Please. I don't think these people are bitter because no one asked THEM to be their last hurrah.
I'm not calling HJ a 'slut', but personally, if this fella REALLY were my friend, he wouldn't even consider any sexual relationship with me, or vice versa. And I honestly wouldn't encourage him either.
but that's me, i don't think i could sleep with "just a friend", or even kiss (that's a pathetic last hurrah) or lapdance. and then what if you bump into him and wife later, wouldn't it be awkward? it's kinda horrid to be in a position where you and the husband know something that the wife doesn't.
i also find it strange that your friend has put so much thought into this 'last hurrah' and of you being the last hurrah. i think most "successful" (for lack of a better term) last hurrahs are spontaneous occurrences with people you will probably never see again to minimize the awkwardness later. does he have the hots for you or something (in which case, why isn't he with you instead)?
one last thing: it's an interesting topic to discuss, but people who know you may be able to figure out who you're talking about, and what if it gets back to the guy's fiancee? is this such a good idea?
in short: your friend actually sounds like a douche (sorry, Holly's friend, but that's the honest one-off impression). but hey, how many of us HAVEN'T been flattered by a douche's advances right? so i get what you're saying Holly. but being flattered doesn't mean you have to go through with it. and i've to say, thank god you don't think you will be.
if any of my cute (caucasian) professional male friends ever asked me to be their last hoorah they knew i would lose all respect for them. and just because i say it's pathetic to be considered as the last hoorah doesn't mean i am ugly. in fact all of them used to have huge crush on me. but none of them would dare to bring up such disrespectful topic to me.
- i <3 miu miu -
HOw would u like it if your future husband sleeps with another woman before he marries you?
If you don't want that to happen to you,then DON'T DO IT DUMBASS.
dianne
I actually mentioned it to him last week and we had a laugh about it. Of course he knows I'm not going to do it (!!!) otherwise he would not be with me... :S
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@anon1.40 - unlikely that my friends will know who I am talking about... there's like 4 male aquaintences who are going to get married. ( and one male cousin!).
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anon2.05- what has the person's race got to do with it? This one isn't caucasian though....
But yeah... it was said over drinks... with a bit of banter... and not in a sleazy way...
I dunnoe.. i guess not everyone can understand how I make people feel at ease and that they can tell me anything, and I'd roll with it, take it with a pinch of salt and talk openly about such issues.
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I brought this topic up in my blog because it is a common phenomenon ( perhaps hush hush)and I thought it would make an interesting discussion...
The concept of last hurrahs. And I raised questions like:
how harmless is a last hurrah?
A last fling before taking the plunge into absolute and eternal monogamy?
Would I be helping him out or helping him cheat?
What do you think? Would you agree to be someone's last hoorah?
Would you accept if your partner had one last hoorah? DO YOU want a last hoorah?
But instead of discussing the topic.. as usual... some readers will bombard me with moralistic judgements about how I am a whore.
I was merely asking opinions ABOUT these pre-marriage shenanigans. Not asking you whether or not I should fuck him.
(I DID NOT GIVE HIM ANY HURRAH ok)
And besides, even if i did choose to do so, I would not need your approval.
*hmph*
always attacking me. Next time see the bigger picture and discuss the topic la. Don't just zero in and wag your finger at me.
If I discussed how to like bake cupcakes with pnk frosting everyday in my blog.. I would bore you man ( and bore myself)
Ok .. am not angry.... but just thought I shld clear the air here.
That has WHORE all over it. If I were the fiancee of that guy, I'd not only slap you, I'd slap your mother for giving birth to someone like you.
And fine, just to give you opinion on whether it's helping him out or helping him cheat. Sorry to bash you again, but I guess this is a dumb question cos is there even any element of "help" there? And something's quite wrong with you morally if you think you're helping him (out or cheat) and I guess the proper question should be "Are you gonna be so low to let him shag you and cheat on his fiancee with him?"
I do see why people would say if they're the man you're daitng, they'll think twice cos HJ, it's really quite a shallow thing. Yes it happens a lot but you actually feel flattered? And yes yes, you said you have double standard, but if you're at the receiving end of it meaning you're the fiancee (even when she doesn't know), you wouldn't be so thrilled, knowing the man you're gonna married is screwing some other girl. And it's a shocker you said you would consider such disgusting thing that actually hurt an innocent party just because you feel flattered. Shallow really. Yeah the current guy you're dating might have a laugh about it but are you sure that's how he really feel?? Or he actually feels disgusted?
You are hot Holly Jean and im sure many men would love to have u as their last hurrah or all hurrahs!
yeah, you definitely have a warped stand on all of this Holly.
i'm not too sure if i'd be flattered if my guy friend told me he'd like to fuck me before he gets married. it's a pretty sad situation, and at the same time, rather degrading. (my opinion only of course)
do you know your friend's fiancee personally? and how would you feel if you WERE single, and slept with him, and knew full well that his future wife could possibly find out about this after they got married. how would this make you feel?
it's quite an interesting topic. and i'm hoping you post another entry regarding this =) it'll be interesting to see what other sensible readers have to say about it.
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Holly, you are such a nice, sensible girl and I can't believe you will be flattered by this unwanted attention.
If a male friend were to suggest this to me, I will be very insulted because that means he doesn't really respect me. Yes, I do like attention and I do get propositions from men but they are from people that don't know me well.
And I don't feel flattered by it at all...in fact, I will reflect on what is it about me that made him do that? Was it him or me?
Having double standards mean you are a hypocrite (on this matter).
And are you sure that the guy you dated doesn't mind this?
How do you know this is what he truly thinks?
I am not bashing you and it's your prerogative to do whatever you want and to blog about it.
And it's ours to give our opinions.
jealous no one is giving you attention?
as a blogger she has to write to create waves, doesn't necessarily she dose the things she mentions!
-Melly