The Last Hoorah?

OK... for those who don't know, The Last Hoorah (also spelt hurrah) is a final performance or effort before retirement.

When I mentioned to one of my guy friends that I might be in an exclusive relationship soon, he went... "Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!"

You see, this friend of mine is getting married soon, and he has fantasies of me being his last hoorah.

I've been debating this concept in my head...

Of course, once I am in a relationship (which I sort of already am ... I think), my friend can kiss his last hurrah goodbye.

But what I'm thinking is... if I were single... then how harmless is a last hurrah? A last fling before taking the plunge into absolute and eternal monogamy? Would I be helping him out or helping him cheat?!

I've been to hen nights where I see my own girlfriends get out of control and start getting it on with the strippers and what not. I don't know ... is it really harmless?

I think even a kiss is cheating. Yet I have funny standards.... if my fiance felt the need for one last hoorah.... I would burn his house down. I myself don't have an urge to get a last hoorah in for myself... monogamy does not scare me, in fact, I relish it. The comfort, the familiarity, the security.

But having someone choose me to be HIS last hoorah... I have to say, is somewhat flattering.

What do you think? Would you agree to be someone's last hoorah? Would you accept if your partner had one last hoorah? DO YOU want a last hoorah?

Or do you subscribe to the belief that... once a cheat, always a cheat. There's never really is a last hoorah... for those who want a hoorah in the first place?

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  1. Anonymous2:48 pm

    does the last hurrah entail sleeping together? or...?

  2. Anonymous4:40 pm

    Haha I think I too will be flattered if I were someone's last hoorah =P

  3. wheert? lemme get this straight cuz you're being a lil vague here.

    when your friend said he wants you to be his last hurrah, you mean this to say that he's asked to sleep with you before he gets married? and you're considering it?

  4. Anonymous7:57 pm

    if your friend has to have a last hoorah before getting married then he obviously isnt ready for marriage himself. in that case, why force himself to do something he doesnt want to? it just doesnt make sense to me at all

  5. nooo i would never want any kind of hoorah in the first place! what is the possibility of a last hoorah if you 'enjoy' hoorahs! kwim?

  6. Anonymous9:46 pm

    last hoorah is never the last... it's like the last meal before a death sentence, it's something to enjoy before the end of something important. Seems like your friend thinks marriage is something awful to even consider the last hurrah... I wonder if his wife-to-be is also having her own hurrah. I assume she is to, and I hope she is, judging from his attitude towards marriage.

  7. Anonymous10:56 pm

    what is a last hoorah??

  8. @anon 2.48: yes it does, I think. But anything can be a last hoorah... for some it's a lap dance, or a kiss etc.

    @anon4.40- haha.. ditto.

    @sophia- wld only consider it if i were single.. though I am sorta almost dating someone exclusively now, so i wldnt consider it anymore. but thought it wld be interesting to discuss.

    @anon7.57- I do see your point. Yet this last hoorah thing is mooore common than we think :(

    @slegna- I agree. but what's "kwim"?

    @anon9.46- yeah.. i do agree tht ppl who approach it tht way.. actually view marriage as the end of something good (freedom etc) instead of the start of something wonderful.

  9. Anonymous11:00 pm

    yes. i totally believe that there never really is a last hoorah for those who want a hoorah in the first place?
    How would you respond to your husband/wife going for a last hoorah? That oh its ok, he's my husband, but he did **** with another lady before marrying me? The thought of it is disgusting and being someone's last hoorah is Not flattering to say the least.
    The idea and thought of someone even thinking being a last hoorah is flattering is disgusting and would how far would you believe that a person who believes in monogamy would like to think that being a last hoorah is flattering? I feel you're contradicting yourself HJ.
    If you dont think its right, shouldnt you not think its right for your friends too?! Helping your friend to cheat is. shameful.

  10. I did say I had somewhat double standards on this issue.

  11. Anonymous11:32 pm

    I totally agree with anon 11pm. No offense but I think it's kinda pathetic you think it's flattering that he wanted you to be his last hoorah cos to begin with, this guy has to think that you're kinda easy to even think of getting you to be his last hoorah, be it you spreading your legs to him for a free shag or you spreading your legs for a lap dance. Any girl with a REAL sense of decency and self-respect would not be flattered but disgusted. It is not about being uptight but it's a matter of the fact that you're flattered that your friend views you as cheap and easy and perfect for a last shag before he get hitched...did you even think of it in that perspective? If I'm a man and I want my last shag, I would never ask it from a female friend I revere or at least have some sense of respect, I would ask some random one I don't care about or pay a prostitute for that...I think you got your bearings wrong and if I'm the guy you're supposedly "almost" dating exclusively, I would think twice...cos I wonder what you've been doing with other men or how many men's last hoorah have you been just before we're supposedly dating exclusively.

  12. Anonymous11:38 pm

    its absolutely rubbish to feel flattered when someone chooses you to be his/her last hurrah. instead of embarking to cultivate the sacred ties with the life partner, it is a tremendously disgusting 360 degrees turn to take on the eve where the sacred ties will commence. Heard about starting on the wrong foot??? This is definitely one of the case. When the sick bastard is done with the hoorah and run into the waiting arms of his/her unknown partner, the one left behind is the biggest bound LOSER.

  13. Anonymous7:42 am

    Good grief. Your guy friend, subconsciously or otherwise, probably thinks you're a slut.

  14. Anonymous8:44 am

    And the funny thing is, despite the guy friend thinking that she's a slut and is cheap and easy, she feels flattered. what is the world coming to?

  15. Anonymous8:50 am

    Honestly...if I were the last woman a man desires to sleep with before he ties the knot... I'd be flattered too!

    Only those who don't get chosen and are not part of men's fantasies would cry SLUT! lol... think about it.. most extreme pro-feminists are dyke looking/ugly girls... who don't get the benefits of being a pretty girl in the first place. LOLS

  16. i dont usually comment but anyway, i think when HJ said she feels flattered, she probably meant it in a way like "aww i am that hot/pretty" wadever cos im pretty sure the man looking for the last hoorah would actually be seeking for the best to "enjoy" in terms of looks what-have-you and not exactly the slutiest aye.
    I mean if you think about it, why would he wanna have a "slut" as his last hoorah. Im pretty sure thats not what he's gonna be looking for....
    Just a thought ;)

  17. girl with the pinky ring9:12 am

    I think that comment about "extreme pro-feminists" (or just extreme feminists, you mean) being dykes/ugly girls is rubbish. What a superficial statement to make! Being a feminist isn't all about hating men, (especially when people ASSUME they hate men because they're lesbian or ugly. Geez).
    You make it seem that not being 'chosen' as a last hurrah is a hateful thing, and enough to cause such bitterness so as to point fingers and call Holly a "slut". Please. I don't think these people are bitter because no one asked THEM to be their last hurrah.
    I'm not calling HJ a 'slut', but personally, if this fella REALLY were my friend, he wouldn't even consider any sexual relationship with me, or vice versa. And I honestly wouldn't encourage him either.

  18. Anonymous1:40 pm

    i would probably be flattered that he considered, but it won't be something that i would entertain seriously. know what i mean (thats what kwim is)? like "oh ok... nice to know... but no thanks."

    but that's me, i don't think i could sleep with "just a friend", or even kiss (that's a pathetic last hurrah) or lapdance. and then what if you bump into him and wife later, wouldn't it be awkward? it's kinda horrid to be in a position where you and the husband know something that the wife doesn't.

    i also find it strange that your friend has put so much thought into this 'last hurrah' and of you being the last hurrah. i think most "successful" (for lack of a better term) last hurrahs are spontaneous occurrences with people you will probably never see again to minimize the awkwardness later. does he have the hots for you or something (in which case, why isn't he with you instead)?

    one last thing: it's an interesting topic to discuss, but people who know you may be able to figure out who you're talking about, and what if it gets back to the guy's fiancee? is this such a good idea?

    in short: your friend actually sounds like a douche (sorry, Holly's friend, but that's the honest one-off impression). but hey, how many of us HAVEN'T been flattered by a douche's advances right? so i get what you're saying Holly. but being flattered doesn't mean you have to go through with it. and i've to say, thank god you don't think you will be.

  19. Anonymous2:05 pm

    it IS pathetic!!!
    if any of my cute (caucasian) professional male friends ever asked me to be their last hoorah they knew i would lose all respect for them. and just because i say it's pathetic to be considered as the last hoorah doesn't mean i am ugly. in fact all of them used to have huge crush on me. but none of them would dare to bring up such disrespectful topic to me.
    - i <3 miu miu -

  20. Anonymous2:40 pm

    I'm disgusted you're even entertainig the thought. He is someone's boyfriend.

    HOw would u like it if your future husband sleeps with another woman before he marries you?

    If you don't want that to happen to you,then DON'T DO IT DUMBASS.


  21. @anon11.32 - u dont have to be worried about what the current guy I am dating thinks of this.

    I actually mentioned it to him last week and we had a laugh about it. Of course he knows I'm not going to do it (!!!) otherwise he would not be with me... :S

    @anon1.40 - unlikely that my friends will know who I am talking about... there's like 4 male aquaintences who are going to get married. ( and one male cousin!).


    anon2.05- what has the person's race got to do with it? This one isn't caucasian though....

    But yeah... it was said over drinks... with a bit of banter... and not in a sleazy way...

    I dunnoe.. i guess not everyone can understand how I make people feel at ease and that they can tell me anything, and I'd roll with it, take it with a pinch of salt and talk openly about such issues.


    I brought this topic up in my blog because it is a common phenomenon ( perhaps hush hush)and I thought it would make an interesting discussion...

    The concept of last hurrahs. And I raised questions like:

    how harmless is a last hurrah?

    A last fling before taking the plunge into absolute and eternal monogamy?

    Would I be helping him out or helping him cheat?

    What do you think? Would you agree to be someone's last hoorah?

    Would you accept if your partner had one last hoorah? DO YOU want a last hoorah?

    But instead of discussing the topic.. as usual... some readers will bombard me with moralistic judgements about how I am a whore.

    I was merely asking opinions ABOUT these pre-marriage shenanigans. Not asking you whether or not I should fuck him.

    And besides, even if i did choose to do so, I would not need your approval.


    always attacking me. Next time see the bigger picture and discuss the topic la. Don't just zero in and wag your finger at me.

    If I discussed how to like bake cupcakes with pnk frosting everyday in my blog.. I would bore you man ( and bore myself)

    Ok .. am not angry.... but just thought I shld clear the air here.

  22. Anonymous4:49 pm

    In your own words " wld only consider it if i were single"

    That has WHORE all over it. If I were the fiancee of that guy, I'd not only slap you, I'd slap your mother for giving birth to someone like you.

  23. Nimby5:04 pm

    Well I guess people probably think that you missed the point as you are flattered and I think we're trying to tell you that it's not a respectful thing that the guy said he wanted you to be his last hurrah. I guess people do find you shallow for thinking that it's flattery cos you don't seem to get the big picture.

    And fine, just to give you opinion on whether it's helping him out or helping him cheat. Sorry to bash you again, but I guess this is a dumb question cos is there even any element of "help" there? And something's quite wrong with you morally if you think you're helping him (out or cheat) and I guess the proper question should be "Are you gonna be so low to let him shag you and cheat on his fiancee with him?"

    I do see why people would say if they're the man you're daitng, they'll think twice cos HJ, it's really quite a shallow thing. Yes it happens a lot but you actually feel flattered? And yes yes, you said you have double standard, but if you're at the receiving end of it meaning you're the fiancee (even when she doesn't know), you wouldn't be so thrilled, knowing the man you're gonna married is screwing some other girl. And it's a shocker you said you would consider such disgusting thing that actually hurt an innocent party just because you feel flattered. Shallow really. Yeah the current guy you're dating might have a laugh about it but are you sure that's how he really feel?? Or he actually feels disgusted?

  24. Ms Piggy6:10 pm

    Yep some people always so quick to judge! I'd be flattered for sure. I get propositions from married men all e time n u know wat, im v flattered. In fact, any attention from above average looking men gives me a cheap thrill. I like my ego being stroked , i like that men desire me but tat doesnt make me cheap. Everyone, and i mean EVERYONE likes to be wanted!

    You are hot Holly Jean and im sure many men would love to have u as their last hurrah or all hurrahs!

  25. Nimby6:59 pm

    Anon 4.49, erm I do agree it has "slut" written all over it and I totally can't stand the idea that HJ thinks it's flattering and that she's damn shallow....but there's no need to say that you want to slap her mom! That's a bit much!!

  26. the name calling is very unnecessary. seriously.

    yeah, you definitely have a warped stand on all of this Holly.

    i'm not too sure if i'd be flattered if my guy friend told me he'd like to fuck me before he gets married. it's a pretty sad situation, and at the same time, rather degrading. (my opinion only of course)

    do you know your friend's fiancee personally? and how would you feel if you WERE single, and slept with him, and knew full well that his future wife could possibly find out about this after they got married. how would this make you feel?

    it's quite an interesting topic. and i'm hoping you post another entry regarding this =) it'll be interesting to see what other sensible readers have to say about it.

  27. Anonymous12:33 pm

    Let's leave holly's mum out of this, all parents do not want their children to go down the wrong path, everyone makes their own choices, i am sure they are not happy about everything she does but she is old enough to make her own choices in life...having said so....holly it is your wish to hoorah with whoever you want if they want of i hope that when you have planned your wedding and your husband to be decides he wants a last hoorah before an eternity with you, he goes to a fren whom you know well, i hope she contemplates, i hope her justification is that it is her wish like you said and i hope you never find out and that he remains frens with her and that when you are exchanging vows with your husband on your wedding day, she is there thinking 'Hj i am so flattered that your husband picked me to be his last hoorah and i know what it is like to fuck your husband" Did i mention that they discussed this over some drinks wen u were not there...btw there are 2 ways to look at this a) you can be flattered he asked you or b) he had many girls in mind but knew he couldnt get em' but knew you would be easy.....flattering huh?

  28. Nimby2:25 pm

    Anon 12.33...can't be more well said! Kudos to you!

  29. Anonymous7:31 pm




  30. Anonymous9:54 pm

    sigh. yes, it's such a common thing. but probably we didnt know about it.

  31. Anonymous10:19 pm

    nicely said, anon 12.33!

  32. Anonymous2:32 am

    I guess you don't believe in karma eh?
    Holly, you are such a nice, sensible girl and I can't believe you will be flattered by this unwanted attention.
    If a male friend were to suggest this to me, I will be very insulted because that means he doesn't really respect me. Yes, I do like attention and I do get propositions from men but they are from people that don't know me well.
    And I don't feel flattered by it at fact, I will reflect on what is it about me that made him do that? Was it him or me?
    Having double standards mean you are a hypocrite (on this matter).
    And are you sure that the guy you dated doesn't mind this?
    How do you know this is what he truly thinks?

    I am not bashing you and it's your prerogative to do whatever you want and to blog about it.
    And it's ours to give our opinions.

  33. Anonymous11:13 am

    amazing how people dislike what holly writes and still bother coming here to enjoy getting annoyed and flame her.

    jealous no one is giving you attention?

    as a blogger she has to write to create waves, doesn't necessarily she dose the things she mentions!


  34. oh here we go yet another person commenting how if we don't like/annoyed with Holly we shouldn't read her blog and comment. Please dear, nobody is annoyed. We read and comment cuz we like reading and commenting. Just because an opinion differs doesnt mean anyone is annoyed! (except me being annoyed at ur comment).

  35. Anonymous2:14 am

    HJ, hows things with Andy?... updates pls... :)


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