Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Things I Miss About Being In A Relationship

We are angels with only one wing, and we can only fly embracing each other
A lot of you have been asking for a list of perks of being in a relationship (since I said the list would be longer than the perks of being single).

I cannot believe some of you commented/emailed me saying.. Oh I wish I had that freedom to do as I please, I kinda wish I were single again.

If you have someone special in your life, you are blessed. Don't be silly by taking it for granted and yearning after singlehood. [The grass is always greener on the other side]

I would only encourage you to be single (and enjoy the perks of singlehood) if your relationship is wrong for you and you aren't happy.

So, this post is to remind you of the (non-sexual) perks of being in a relationship.

Holly Jean's Top 10 Things I Miss About Being In A Relationship

10. Having Someone To Do Things With
Whether is going to the gym, or swimming, or even the simplest things like going to the supermarket is made much more pleasant when I have someone special to do it with.

9. Feeling Proud of Someone
I am proud of my own achievements and who I am today. But it's a different feeling when you look at your partner, and you feel proud to be with him because you know he's a great person.

8. Having Someone To Count On
In a good relationship, you stand up for, support and defend each other. You never talk down or talk bad about your partner. I miss this feeling of strength and confidence... like someone has always got my back, my buddy.

7. A Comforting Scent
Have you noticed how your partner has a familiar scent that's comforting to you? It's like when he's not there but you put his t-shirt to your face and you can smell him and it makes you feel so good.

6. Having Someone To Fall Asleep With
Even when things got strained between Mark & I towards the last couple of months in our relationship, we'd still fall asleep together on the days I stayed over. He would wait until I fell asleep on his chest, and then gently roll me over to my side, and spoon me. Towards the end of the relationship, when we were already talking about a possible split up, I used to pretend to fall asleep on his chest, so when he rolled me over to my side and spooned me, I would lie awake in his embrace. I didn't want to just sleep, I wanted to cherish those moments of closeness.

5. Having Someone's Hand To Hold
You can date a different man everyday, you can have a wild party lifestyle. But none of that is the equivalent of just having someone who will hold your hand quietly.

4. Someone To Plan A Future With
Whether it's starting a family, a new home, a new adventure, it's exciting to be part of someone's plans and to make them a part of yours.

3. The Unspoken
I miss having someone who knows what I'm thinking and feeling without me having to say anything at all. Of course, we only reached this stage after much effort to get to know each other and tears and anger... but once it's at that level, there's this feeling of content.

2. Knowing Someone Well Enough To Expose My Fears
You can never open up fully to someone you're just dating. It takes a special bond between people in order to feel comfortable showing them your vulnerabilities and flaws.

1. The Love, of course.


So, look at your relationship and realise all that is special about it. Hopefully, I'll be joining you some day soon. But until then, singlehood is also pretty awesome, and I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

Hugs, HJ
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Click to Read :)

16 comments:

  1. Anonymous4:16 pm

    what do you mean when you say that he rolls you over and spoon you?? spoon = ?

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  2. that was lovely. you made me cry! =)

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  3. Anonymous4:58 pm

    HJ, seems that you are missing girl friends. Most of the things you mentioned are part of a friendship too. Maybe, thats the reason why you can't stand beeing single....Just a thought...

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  4. Sheila5:11 pm

    To Anonymous, I guess u have never been in love. Hence, you do not understand what Holly is saying.

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  5. That's the whole dilemma. There are definitely good and bad things on both sides of the coin. I do agree with you that still, being in love is far better than being single. But gosh, I do miss some of the things you can do while single. This I can't deny. And of course, when I was single, I went searching for a relationship! Because I know it's still better. Which explains why even professionals encourage couples to balance we and me time, so that as an individual, we do not feel suppressed and controlled.

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  6. Anonymous5:48 pm

    no SEX?

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  7. i purposely made this list without sex. :) Sex will be great if the connection is there, and u cant have tht connection without feeling those things which I now miss.

    Spooning is when you lie on your side, back facing your partner, and he lies on his side too and "spoons" you by cocooning your body with his.

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  8. Anonymous11:21 pm

    Good post, and felt as if u meant it.

    But agree with anon 4.58. Have u considered that u never blog about just hanging out with friends?

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  9. :S just cos i dont blog about it, doesnt mean I dont do it.

    Having lunch with Bessie tmrw actually... but I dont think she wants me taking pics of her to blog abt!

    u got to understand tht my whole life is not only what's on the blog

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  10. Anonymous2:01 am

    i really like points 6, 5 and 2.

    i miss having someone holding my hand too.

    but i guess you're right, being single has its perks too. until i join the rest of them :)

    thanks for sharing it HJ!

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  11. Anonymous2:20 am

    hj that was beautiful... It's very moving and heartfelt. Being in rship for 4 years makes me take things for granted sometimes i get. I still get exciting attractive men hitting on me and sometimes i wish im single and just dating around without a hoot in the world.

    As i read ur post, i looked at my bf, who was quietly resting on a couch watching my fave tv series when i knew he's dying to switch to his fave channel. I teared a lil. Thanks hj. Love u. And love the post.

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  12. Anonymous2:27 am

    its me, anon 2.20. My bf caught me crying and quickly went over and asked what was wrong and why was i crying. He then said something to make me laugh. Lol why am i telling u this? Just wanna tell u sometimes ur post and words can stir hearts so leep it up gal. :)

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  13. thank you for that.

    now you make me cry.

    :)

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  14. haha awww... there is so much sweetness in these kinda posts and comments, i love it.

    I like it when you write like this HJ, it's very real and i totally identify with every pt.

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  15. Anonymous4:31 am

    ok, the roll over the spoon thingy... i think he learnt it on friends. why did you even put up to be with someone who so apparently has no serious plans for you? and i dont mean that by the roll and spoon.

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  16. "...I would lie awake in his embrace. I didn't want to just sleep, I wanted to cherish those moments of closeness...."

    This makes my heart ache. It reminds me of what I did too when my past relationship was on the rocks. I wanted to commit every moment to memory. It kills, coz you know what's coming.

    Apart from the relationship falling apart, I also had to leave the country for good within a short time. So I was just grasping to embrace every tiny thing about him; I'd even look at him an extra long while just to memorise his face. Damn drama lah, but goddamn, it was the hardest break up to date!

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