Hey ho... I'm off to Bali today... my cousin (and her BF and some others) from Perth are flying there to celebrate her 30th (!!!!) and I'm joining her there. Packed my ettuasis new summer colours make up (woot! not sold at counters yet.) and a few party pieces from clubcouture and gipsyscarlet ! (Will show u pics of the dresses etc soon). I will be back on Tuesday.
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Yes, I am going with someone. Can't tell you who. No, not S, he's at the (half?) ironman in Abu Dhabi! And not my ex Mark, he has started to date again too.
.
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The problem I am facing now is not in making a decision... but more of trying to move past the fear of making a wrong choice.
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I just need a little time. I just wish that everyone would just be who they really are, and tell me the truth. Otherwise... how the hell am I supposed to know what's right or wrong for me? I don't really trust my intuition at the moment, it's been unreliable.
.
Maybe this short holiday break will clear my head, and feelings. Or maybe I will have to sit down and pen down the best and the worst outcomes for each situation to help weigh out the advantages/disadvantages.
.
Then again... Mark said to me the other day that I don't need to be stressing about this and that there's no rush. If I am not ready to make a decision, then I'm not ready. And whoever I am dating has to accept that. But I think it's unfair of me to do this to the men around me.
.
Don't men thrive on knowing their hierarchy? Like once they know their place in someone's life, they're happier? For instance, W is just a friend, X is the exclusive BF, Y is just the ex BF, and Z is the one I used to date but is just an aquaintence now. Then they co-exist better, and know their boundaries.
.
But I don't know who is right for me anymore.
.
Someone mentioned to me the other day that Librans (tht's my star sign) tend to be indecisive. You know, it's true. But to be fair, once they do make a decision, they'll dig their heels in and stick to it. So even though they're flirtatious and social creatures when single, they do settle down and are just as happy (if not happier) when contented and committed to just one partner.
.
P/S- I would appreciate your advice, but PLEASE don't give me lectures on how I should be happy with myself first and then everything will fall into place. I LOVE myself, more than you imagine possible. And I am perfectly ok just being on my own.
.
But that doesn't mean I should forgo having a meaningful relationship ok... or if I long for someone to share my life with, that doesn't mean I am not a complete person on my own. (what bullshit).
.
----------------------------------
Meanwhile... here's a bumper post full on info/interesting bits ... to tide you over the weekend :)
.
Pink Elephant Labs is having a March promo. You can join their facebook fan page to find out about their latest promos.
- available for studio and outdoor sessions any day of the week
- time slots for studio sessions are: 11 am, 1.30 pm and 4 pm, spacious home studio is at tampines
- morning outdoor sessions can run between 7 am - 9.30 am, evening outdoor sessions between 4.30 pm - 7 pm
- it is best to book your session 4-5 days before your desired session date
- a deposit of $30 will be required to confirm your booking
----------------
This week's article on my fat pocket:
Read read.... I promise it'll make you laugh :)
And for those interested in Internet Dating... you can read this one.
--------------------------
I'll have a super busy week once I get back from Bali on Tuesday night :(
- My first post on NSportal site on Tuesday
-Unpacking (hate it)
- I'll update you on my Bali Trip on Wednesday
- Laundry (!)
- I have to bring Lola to the groomers on Wednesday
- I have to collect my phone from LG on Wednesday ( I bought the LG eve android phone from Stahub a few days ago, and the bloody touchscreen calibration was wonky! Damn it! What a waste of my presious time having to go to their service centre when it's their fault for selling me a Faulty Phone!)
-I have a routine dental appt for cleaning (postponed to week after!)
- I have to prepare final list of interview Qns for Adam Lambert by Thursday (please leave your QNs in the comments section of this post)
- Eyelash appointment on Thursday
- I'll get to meet Adam on Friday afternoon (hopefully!) and then attend his concert at Universal Studios that night (I'm taking Bessie with me)
- Then on Saturday, I'll blog about the concert and hopefully be able to show u the interview session as well
- Then on Sunday finally a slow day, church in the morning, a lazy brunch perhaps, and then figure out who I want to sign up for the amazing race with.
Ok, nevermind... I'll forget about all this and enjoy my holiday.
Off to the airport now. Will you miss me? :)
.
Yes, I am going with someone. Can't tell you who. No, not S, he's at the (half?) ironman in Abu Dhabi! And not my ex Mark, he has started to date again too.
.
.
The problem I am facing now is not in making a decision... but more of trying to move past the fear of making a wrong choice.
.
I just need a little time. I just wish that everyone would just be who they really are, and tell me the truth. Otherwise... how the hell am I supposed to know what's right or wrong for me? I don't really trust my intuition at the moment, it's been unreliable.
.
Maybe this short holiday break will clear my head, and feelings. Or maybe I will have to sit down and pen down the best and the worst outcomes for each situation to help weigh out the advantages/disadvantages.
.
Then again... Mark said to me the other day that I don't need to be stressing about this and that there's no rush. If I am not ready to make a decision, then I'm not ready. And whoever I am dating has to accept that. But I think it's unfair of me to do this to the men around me.
.
Don't men thrive on knowing their hierarchy? Like once they know their place in someone's life, they're happier? For instance, W is just a friend, X is the exclusive BF, Y is just the ex BF, and Z is the one I used to date but is just an aquaintence now. Then they co-exist better, and know their boundaries.
.
But I don't know who is right for me anymore.
.
Someone mentioned to me the other day that Librans (tht's my star sign) tend to be indecisive. You know, it's true. But to be fair, once they do make a decision, they'll dig their heels in and stick to it. So even though they're flirtatious and social creatures when single, they do settle down and are just as happy (if not happier) when contented and committed to just one partner.
.
P/S- I would appreciate your advice, but PLEASE don't give me lectures on how I should be happy with myself first and then everything will fall into place. I LOVE myself, more than you imagine possible. And I am perfectly ok just being on my own.
.
But that doesn't mean I should forgo having a meaningful relationship ok... or if I long for someone to share my life with, that doesn't mean I am not a complete person on my own. (what bullshit).
.
----------------------------------
Meanwhile... here's a bumper post full on info/interesting bits ... to tide you over the weekend :)
.
Pink Elephant Labs is having a March promo. You can join their facebook fan page to find out about their latest promos.
- available for studio and outdoor sessions any day of the week
- time slots for studio sessions are: 11 am, 1.30 pm and 4 pm, spacious home studio is at tampines
- morning outdoor sessions can run between 7 am - 9.30 am, evening outdoor sessions between 4.30 pm - 7 pm
- it is best to book your session 4-5 days before your desired session date
- a deposit of $30 will be required to confirm your booking
----------------
This week's article on my fat pocket:
Read read.... I promise it'll make you laugh :)
And for those interested in Internet Dating... you can read this one.
--------------------------
I'll have a super busy week once I get back from Bali on Tuesday night :(
- My first post on NSportal site on Tuesday
-Unpacking (hate it)
- I'll update you on my Bali Trip on Wednesday
- Laundry (!)
- I have to bring Lola to the groomers on Wednesday
- I have to collect my phone from LG on Wednesday ( I bought the LG eve android phone from Stahub a few days ago, and the bloody touchscreen calibration was wonky! Damn it! What a waste of my presious time having to go to their service centre when it's their fault for selling me a Faulty Phone!)
-
- I have to prepare final list of interview Qns for Adam Lambert by Thursday (please leave your QNs in the comments section of this post)
- Eyelash appointment on Thursday
- I'll get to meet Adam on Friday afternoon (hopefully!) and then attend his concert at Universal Studios that night (I'm taking Bessie with me)
- Then on Saturday, I'll blog about the concert and hopefully be able to show u the interview session as well
- Then on Sunday finally a slow day, church in the morning, a lazy brunch perhaps, and then figure out who I want to sign up for the amazing race with.
Ok, nevermind... I'll forget about all this and enjoy my holiday.
Off to the airport now. Will you miss me? :)
Comments
I am here listening or should I say we are here.
:-)
why are you going on holiday with a man so soon?
and what does 'S' think of you going on holiday with someone when he's out of the country on at a sporting event?
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sorry to sound negative, but it just sounds to me like you are your own worst enemy
don't listen to any of us or yourself for the moment.. the answer will come to you even if you are unsure in the beginning..
to the anon above me:
she never did say that she is talking to Mark a lot she just said he gave her that advice
maybe the person she is with in Bali is a lady? or maybe HJ doesnt want to let us know too many unconfirmed details. she is entitled to her own privacy in a public blog.
S wouldn't think anything because they aren't committed yet..
And you point about privacy when broadcasting one's life in a public blog just strikes me as plain odd. It's the same argument that so many it-girl celebrities use... selective privacy is just nonsense.
And is it really possible to move on so quickly after ending a serious relationship just weeks ago?
There's no rule that says that once you decide to put a little of your private life up you've got to put all of it up.
Anon 11.37- yea ur guess might be possible now come to think of it!
There is nothing wrong with waiting a few mths (even half a yr or more) to find a new guy. U think that dating helps u to move on/takes ur mind off things, that's not necessarily true, it seems that it's doing the opposite for you.
Fair enough.. it's a free world. But to lament how tricky the situation is, and asking for advice from readers.. just sounds so hollow to me.
Maybe you are searching for the wrong kinda man...I wish i could empathise with you but sorry love...alot of what is/has happened is a choice you have made...
To put it crudely, the pace of your dating adventures makes you seem like you are you in a mad rush to get laid again...
But if its attention seeking that matters at this moment and she is getting it, i suggest we all boycott her blog.
Besides, if you group HJ's supporters together, i am very sure they are the same kind of people.
I can't believe strangers who don't know much about you (or think that they know, just because they read your blog) call you names like slut and etc. Who are they, they don't know shit about you!
What's wrong with going for a vacation with someone you are getting to know? Nothing's solid, it's just a getaway...
Damn, people are so goddamned close-minded.
on a lighter note have a great holiday in Bali.
mate, I thought your 4:45 comment was damn funny
and don't worry bout getting the blokes mixed up - nobody else can keep track either
I'll respond to all that in a post later tonight.
I think a lot of you losers who post here are kinda missing an important point - HJ's says all the guys she is now dating, know that she it dating other people - so they know exactly what the situation is. If they aren't comfortable with that then they don't have to date her - what's the big deal? At least they know where they stand....more so than what many singles do when starting to date a new person.
Also - it's like everyone assume's "date" means sex - HJ however seems to talk more about coffee and lunches so since when did dating translate into being a slut !? Lighten the f%"k up you lot!
HJ's approach may be non conventional but who are we all to judge her ? Any you guys posting - you telling me you never once two timed a gf? Never cheated on your gf/wife? Never snuck off for a happy ending massage? Seems to me she's probably more honest and open than the lot of you i'm betting.
Bali - ooooh shock / horror! - so she's gone away on a holiday with a guy - what better way to get to know someone as a person than out of their comfort zone when you cna spend quality time withour distractions
And finally - to the guy who says he'd take her for a one night stand but no more - do you realize what a hypocrite you come across as - using girls for one night stands but you feel you are soooo much better than her and so quick to judge?
I agree with Paladin - if you male posters out there are all so saintly why do karaoke bars and hookers flood here from all around Asia - can't be all just for tourists no can it. Jack Neo - Tiger, John Terry - all recent examples of cheaters but obviously this blog only attracts the rare exceptions. "Let he that be without sin cast the first stone"
Be true to yourself Holly and ignore everyone else is my advice
Wanna tell you that dating multiple guys is fine, just that many people out there are too narrow-minded and too quick to judge. (I used to be like that too, and I realised I was being too hard and harsh on my friend who dates multiple guys)
Everyone has different ways of mending their own hearts and cheering themselves up, and different ways of dating/ making friends.
I support you in whatever you do Holly, as long as you think it is sensible at that point of time.
Hope you enjoyed Bali and I can't wait for your post! You are being so secretive about Mark! :p
love,
v
be aware that the ratio of people who read your blog to the ratio of people who bother to leave trashy anonymous comments are probably 10:1
those that like you genuinely probably just shake their heads and close the tab.
Im a longtime reader but ive never commented till now cos i felt compelled to because i just wanted u to know that not everyone thinks of you in the same mean way as the horrible commenters above.
chin up babe ;)
love,
a
i've watched you and came to your blog regularly since S factor. you are nothing like what the other girls portray themselves to be I know you have a strong head on your shoulders. Ultimately, I also trust you know what is best for yourself.
It saddens me that all these people have to leave such mean comments. Don't let those words bog you down. Afterall, you should only listen to those who mean something to you (your friends and family etc)
mindless words from randoms serve no purpose. i hope my words will hold some weight tho (quite contradictory...) but yes, no harm trying to encourage!! :)
Press on and be well!
It'll be interesting to see if HJ refuses to accept any of the negative points made above, and carries on regardless.
For example, there is clearly some truth in the point about launching back into dating alarmingly fast after a near-marriage relationship. If I recall, this is a trend for HJ, yet she denies the link between what this might say about herself, despite clearly being perceived as suffocating by ex bfs.
Just my opinion - think it's interesting to see if people have the capacity for honest self-reflection.
Secondly - what is an acceptable period of time to wait - again it's subjective and will vary from person to person...in her shoes, i wouldn't see much point in moping around at home in self-imposed emotional exile....moving on, once you've determined that's what needs to happen, is about getting back to normal life as soon as possible - if that means dating for HJ so she can meet new people then I say go for it
Even for myself, there are times when i agree with hj and times that i simply don't. I'll say it out if I don't.
Point being, good or bad feedback, everyone is entitled to have their say. It's ridiculous to have 100% positive and supportive feedback all the time, we are not living in a lala world but in fact in a world where opinions are bound to differ.
To sum it up, this is a public blog, not a hj cult.
In fact, all these differences in opinions (though they can get aggressive @ times) is the thing that constantly got me coming back to this blog.
I believe you have every right to choose what you want to share with your readers and at the same time hope that they would only wish the best for you too.
How is it any of their business who you choose to go overseas with and whether how soon is too soon to get over your r/s with Mark?
There could have been so many other things going on that you chose not to share on your blog and I believe that readers should accept that fact.
HJ, I guess when you're popular, there tends to be a price to pay. Losing your privacy and even being judged for your own actions and how you live your life. Do take everything with a pinch of salt dear, cos some people just cannot live with their mouths shut.
I'm supporting you! :)
Dont you get it....just because YOU may need 6 months b/w relationships (if indeed you've ever even had one - not counting your hand)doesnt mean everyone else does.
And...OK - so travelling with a guy is a supposed to be a sinful step up from dating is it ? Let's see then ...a taxi ride from Changi to Jurong is sinful if with a partner? How about a day trip on the ferry to Batam together ....that's overseas s it must be sinful!
I'd seriously encourage you to THINK before you comment, you'll save yourself soooo much embarassment in life when out in the real world
Anon 4:49 - you're talking rubbish aswell. Of course taking a holiday with someone you're dating is a step up from drinks at Clarke Quay.
Don't make the mistake of being so politically correct that you end up not saying anything meaningful at all.
Oh, and I'm a modern person, probably much as you are. But when it comes to booking plane tickets with someone, unlike you, I stop and think.
HJ strikes me as a free spirit and spontaneous - that's to be admired in my book.
So she makes mistakes - so do we all and I haven't heard her bitching about them - she accepts them and is frank enough to face them - again - admirable.
Maybe a little more spontanaity and risk-taking would enhance all our lives cos there's no growth possible without risk - just a sad, sheltered existence