Saturday, March 06, 2010

Oh What A Tangled Web I Weave...

Hey ho... I'm off to Bali today... my cousin (and her BF and some others) from Perth are flying there to celebrate her 30th (!!!!) and I'm joining her there. Packed my ettuasis new summer colours make up (woot! not sold at counters yet.) and a few party pieces from clubcouture and gipsyscarlet ! (Will show u pics of the dresses etc soon). I will be back on Tuesday.
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Yes, I am going with someone. Can't tell you who. No, not S, he's at the (half?) ironman in Abu Dhabi! And not my ex Mark, he has started to date again too.
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The problem I am facing now is not in making a decision... but more of trying to move past the fear of making a wrong choice.
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I just need a little time. I just wish that everyone would just be who they really are, and tell me the truth. Otherwise... how the hell am I supposed to know what's right or wrong for me? I don't really trust my intuition at the moment, it's been unreliable.
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Maybe this short holiday break will clear my head, and feelings. Or maybe I will have to sit down and pen down the best and the worst outcomes for each situation to help weigh out the advantages/disadvantages.
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Then again... Mark said to me the other day that I don't need to be stressing about this and that there's no rush. If I am not ready to make a decision, then I'm not ready. And whoever I am dating has to accept that. But I think it's unfair of me to do this to the men around me.
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Don't men thrive on knowing their hierarchy? Like once they know their place in someone's life, they're happier? For instance, W is just a friend, X is the exclusive BF, Y is just the ex BF, and Z is the one I used to date but is just an aquaintence now. Then they co-exist better, and know their boundaries.
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But I don't know who is right for me anymore.
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Someone mentioned to me the other day that Librans (tht's my star sign) tend to be indecisive. You know, it's true. But to be fair, once they do make a decision, they'll dig their heels in and stick to it. So even though they're flirtatious and social creatures when single, they do settle down and are just as happy (if not happier) when contented and committed to just one partner.
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P/S- I would appreciate your advice, but PLEASE don't give me lectures on how I should be happy with myself first and then everything will fall into place. I LOVE myself, more than you imagine possible. And I am perfectly ok just being on my own.
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But that doesn't mean I should forgo having a meaningful relationship ok... or if I long for someone to share my life with, that doesn't mean I am not a complete person on my own. (what bullshit).
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Meanwhile... here's a bumper post full on info/interesting bits ... to tide you over the weekend :)
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Pink Elephant Labs is having a March promo. You can join their facebook fan page to find out about their latest promos.


- available for studio and outdoor sessions any day of the week
- time slots for studio sessions are: 11 am, 1.30 pm and 4 pm, spacious home studio is at tampines
- morning outdoor sessions can run between 7 am - 9.30 am, evening outdoor sessions between 4.30 pm - 7 pm
- it is best to book your session 4-5 days before your desired session date
- a deposit of $30 will be required to confirm your booking

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This week's article on my fat pocket:


Read read.... I promise it'll make you laugh :)

And for those interested in Internet Dating... you can read this one.

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I'll have a super busy week once I get back from Bali on Tuesday night :(

- My first post on NSportal site on Tuesday
-Unpacking (hate it)
- I'll update you on my Bali Trip on Wednesday
- Laundry (!)
- I have to bring Lola to the groomers on Wednesday
- I have to collect my phone from LG on Wednesday ( I bought the LG eve android phone from Stahub a few days ago, and the bloody touchscreen calibration was wonky! Damn it! What a waste of my presious time having to go to their service centre when it's their fault for selling me a Faulty Phone!)
- I have a routine dental appt for cleaning (postponed to week after!)
- I have to prepare final list of interview Qns for Adam Lambert by Thursday (please leave your QNs in the comments section of this post)
- Eyelash appointment on Thursday
- I'll get to meet Adam on Friday afternoon (hopefully!) and then attend his concert at Universal Studios that night (I'm taking Bessie with me)
- Then on Saturday, I'll blog about the concert and hopefully be able to show u the interview session as well
- Then on Sunday finally a slow day, church in the morning, a lazy brunch perhaps, and then figure out who I want to sign up for the amazing race with.

Ok, nevermind... I'll forget about all this and enjoy my holiday.

Off to the airport now. Will you miss me? :)

50 comments:

  1. ADAM LAMBERT!!!!!!!!!!!! faint

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  2. Great enjoy ur trip and relax. I guess what u need now is a pair of listening EAR rather than advices.

    I am here listening or should I say we are here.

    :-)

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  3. Anonymous7:21 pm

    how is hanging around / talking to mark a lot going to help you move on?

    why are you going on holiday with a man so soon?

    and what does 'S' think of you going on holiday with someone when he's out of the country on at a sporting event?

    .
    .

    sorry to sound negative, but it just sounds to me like you are your own worst enemy

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  4. i miss you already!!!

    don't listen to any of us or yourself for the moment.. the answer will come to you even if you are unsure in the beginning..

    to the anon above me:
    she never did say that she is talking to Mark a lot she just said he gave her that advice

    maybe the person she is with in Bali is a lady? or maybe HJ doesnt want to let us know too many unconfirmed details. she is entitled to her own privacy in a public blog.

    S wouldn't think anything because they aren't committed yet..

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  5. Anonymous8:55 pm

    To anon above, I beg to differ about what you say about S. It speaks volumes when someone mult-dates so casually

    And you point about privacy when broadcasting one's life in a public blog just strikes me as plain odd. It's the same argument that so many it-girl celebrities use... selective privacy is just nonsense.

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  6. Anonymous11:01 pm

    I'm really curious what things you didn't know about Mark before!

    And is it really possible to move on so quickly after ending a serious relationship just weeks ago?

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  7. i agree w anon 7:21. Sad but true.

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  8. Anonymous7:22 am

    why is selective privacy nonsense?

    There's no rule that says that once you decide to put a little of your private life up you've got to put all of it up.

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  9. Anonymous11:37 am

    Please loh, if she's going with a lady she would have said it. It's gotta be a man. Probably the guy she ditched while she patched back with mark last time! She's a slut lah!

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  10. sorry but i think u just cant survive without men. Desperate for men always.

    Anon 11.37- yea ur guess might be possible now come to think of it!

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  11. The Anon comments above are all pretty rude and crude, but i can't help but think there is some truth there. It's ok if you're going to bali with a good male friend, but if it's for dating purposes (some guy ur dating or interested in), it's much too soon. I don't even think you should be dating so soon after the break up, much less with several different men.

    There is nothing wrong with waiting a few mths (even half a yr or more) to find a new guy. U think that dating helps u to move on/takes ur mind off things, that's not necessarily true, it seems that it's doing the opposite for you.

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  12. Anonymous3:25 pm

    The title of the post says it all. Sounds like she thrives on the excitement of it all.

    Fair enough.. it's a free world. But to lament how tricky the situation is, and asking for advice from readers.. just sounds so hollow to me.

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  13. Anonymous3:36 pm

    Once bitten twice shy...In your case, once bitten twice bolder???

    Maybe you are searching for the wrong kinda man...I wish i could empathise with you but sorry love...alot of what is/has happened is a choice you have made...

    To put it crudely, the pace of your dating adventures makes you seem like you are you in a mad rush to get laid again...

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  14. Anonymous6:03 pm

    I'm a man and much as I do like your posts sometimes, I find it rather pathetic and your dating style is desperate. I don't blame people for calling you a slut though I do think it's a bit rude. And I feel sorry for the men you're dating when you so publicly talk about them and airing your own dirty laundry so openly. Why do you like to openly talk about something that should be kept private? Attention seeking there?

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  15. Anonymous6:18 pm

    Are there any old white men left in Singapore that you haven't slept with?

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  16. Anonymous6:42 pm

    Now i heard alot of negative comments about HJ and sad to say, i have to admit and agree to most of it.

    But if its attention seeking that matters at this moment and she is getting it, i suggest we all boycott her blog.

    Besides, if you group HJ's supporters together, i am very sure they are the same kind of people.

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  17. Holly Jean, it's your own choice to go out with whoever you want, whenever you want to. You are a single woman, you have every right to do whatever.

    I can't believe strangers who don't know much about you (or think that they know, just because they read your blog) call you names like slut and etc. Who are they, they don't know shit about you!

    What's wrong with going for a vacation with someone you are getting to know? Nothing's solid, it's just a getaway...

    Damn, people are so goddamned close-minded.

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  18. Anonymous2:20 am

    Hey S, it's either they are narrow minded or ya too naive.

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  19. Anonymous8:37 am

    Hey S, if she chooses to blog about all her personal affairs, then she should be ready for name-calling. After all, who asks her to air all her dirty laundry out? I don't understand why anyone would so openly talk about private matters which involves other parties ie. the morons she's dating. I would think anyone with some respect would guard and defense her private relationship and not so openly talk about it and let other people openly judge it etc. And by the way, I'm a professional single white male and probably the kind she would throw herself at and sad to say, I feel sorry for S or whoever she's involved with. I don't know why any decent man would want to date her. I would take her for a fling and she'll be good for one but really, nothing serious. One-night-stand material yes, serious relationship, never.

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  20. Anonymous4:45 pm

    sometimes you really do make a mess of things eh, did you think it would all be nice and warm here with you telling us your off to think about life while in the arms of S who is basically standing in while the iron man is off doing god knows what. learn to be by yourself. Its time you learn that this is not sex and the city. or maybe pretty woman. your going to wake up one day and find that S,T,U and V have upped and left. You will be left shopping alone in Sheng Siong and hoping a "bangla" tries to pick you up.
    on a lighter note have a great holiday in Bali.

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  21. Anonymous4:51 pm

    damnit S is iron man! can you give this new dude nick name? its confusing for my little brain!

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  22. Anonymous4:59 pm

    eh I am anon 4.45 and 4.51 i have just been told my comments were mean...i must say i did mean it as a joke esp the bit about shopping in sheng siong

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  23. Anonymous5:56 pm

    ^

    mate, I thought your 4:45 comment was damn funny

    and don't worry bout getting the blokes mixed up - nobody else can keep track either

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  24. anon 4.45, thought ur comment was hilarious too. Haha... Why bother sugarcoating the truth anyways huh? :p

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  25. Anonymous6:58 pm

    The best word to describe her is the hokkien word "lup sup" ie. Rubbish, dirty... Sorry holly you might be pretty but your way of dating men and being all desperate about them is kinda lame and demeaning to yourself as a woman. And if you're gonna go on lamenting how people slag u n judge u, then don't disclose all your personal stuff. Some stuff are better left unsaid really.

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  26. Anonymous12:17 am

    Yes HJ I think u reek of.. 1 word. Desperate.

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  27. Anonymous1:56 pm

    isn't it strange how someone so obviously pretty and smart can also be damn insecure?

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  28. Anonymous2:00 pm

    i mean look at the loud outfits, the half-naked pics, the blue contacts.. everything just screams "LOOK AT ME PLEEEEEASE!". Subtlety is so much more attractive. If I were so naturally pretty like you, HJ, I'd relax and tone everything down. Or maybe it's just a matter of taste.

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  29. I get depressed thinking of all my entangled relationship problems; then I read the papers about the Greek economy and our local filmmakers, and I cheer up!

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  30. Ok, have just got back and only just read all the comments.

    I'll respond to all that in a post later tonight.

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  31. Paladin5:17 pm

    I'm fairly new to this blog but gotta say i'm floored by the vitriol and venom flying round about this gal.

    I think a lot of you losers who post here are kinda missing an important point - HJ's says all the guys she is now dating, know that she it dating other people - so they know exactly what the situation is. If they aren't comfortable with that then they don't have to date her - what's the big deal? At least they know where they stand....more so than what many singles do when starting to date a new person.

    Also - it's like everyone assume's "date" means sex - HJ however seems to talk more about coffee and lunches so since when did dating translate into being a slut !? Lighten the f%"k up you lot!

    HJ's approach may be non conventional but who are we all to judge her ? Any you guys posting - you telling me you never once two timed a gf? Never cheated on your gf/wife? Never snuck off for a happy ending massage? Seems to me she's probably more honest and open than the lot of you i'm betting.

    Bali - ooooh shock / horror! - so she's gone away on a holiday with a guy - what better way to get to know someone as a person than out of their comfort zone when you cna spend quality time withour distractions

    And finally - to the guy who says he'd take her for a one night stand but no more - do you realize what a hypocrite you come across as - using girls for one night stands but you feel you are soooo much better than her and so quick to judge?

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  32. Anonymous5:31 pm

    I think Holly's courageous for putting her lifestyle out there on a blog and sticking to her principles despite what criticism comes her way. If you dont approve no one's forcing you to log on every day. We all express our selves in different ways. Singapore - you all still have a long way to go to being a tolerant and civilised society.

    I agree with Paladin - if you male posters out there are all so saintly why do karaoke bars and hookers flood here from all around Asia - can't be all just for tourists no can it. Jack Neo - Tiger, John Terry - all recent examples of cheaters but obviously this blog only attracts the rare exceptions. "Let he that be without sin cast the first stone"

    Be true to yourself Holly and ignore everyone else is my advice

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  33. Anonymous5:49 pm

    Hello Holly,

    Wanna tell you that dating multiple guys is fine, just that many people out there are too narrow-minded and too quick to judge. (I used to be like that too, and I realised I was being too hard and harsh on my friend who dates multiple guys)

    Everyone has different ways of mending their own hearts and cheering themselves up, and different ways of dating/ making friends.

    I support you in whatever you do Holly, as long as you think it is sensible at that point of time.

    Hope you enjoyed Bali and I can't wait for your post! You are being so secretive about Mark! :p

    love,
    v

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  34. Anonymous8:03 pm

    hi holly,

    be aware that the ratio of people who read your blog to the ratio of people who bother to leave trashy anonymous comments are probably 10:1

    those that like you genuinely probably just shake their heads and close the tab.

    Im a longtime reader but ive never commented till now cos i felt compelled to because i just wanted u to know that not everyone thinks of you in the same mean way as the horrible commenters above.

    chin up babe ;)

    love,
    a

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  35. Anonymous8:09 pm

    holly
    i've watched you and came to your blog regularly since S factor. you are nothing like what the other girls portray themselves to be I know you have a strong head on your shoulders. Ultimately, I also trust you know what is best for yourself.

    It saddens me that all these people have to leave such mean comments. Don't let those words bog you down. Afterall, you should only listen to those who mean something to you (your friends and family etc)

    mindless words from randoms serve no purpose. i hope my words will hold some weight tho (quite contradictory...) but yes, no harm trying to encourage!! :)

    Press on and be well!

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  36. Anonymous9:48 pm

    I think there is a middle ground between the criticism and the the supportive comments.

    It'll be interesting to see if HJ refuses to accept any of the negative points made above, and carries on regardless.

    For example, there is clearly some truth in the point about launching back into dating alarmingly fast after a near-marriage relationship. If I recall, this is a trend for HJ, yet she denies the link between what this might say about herself, despite clearly being perceived as suffocating by ex bfs.

    Just my opinion - think it's interesting to see if people have the capacity for honest self-reflection.

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  37. Anonymous10:55 pm

    Sorry but i don't credit this stuff about not dating so soon after a break up...firstly everyone is different and deals with loss in different ways. Besides - HJ told us all her r'ship with Mark had been more or less over for a few months before she shared the news right?

    Secondly - what is an acceptable period of time to wait - again it's subjective and will vary from person to person...in her shoes, i wouldn't see much point in moping around at home in self-imposed emotional exile....moving on, once you've determined that's what needs to happen, is about getting back to normal life as soon as possible - if that means dating for HJ so she can meet new people then I say go for it

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  38. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions including the readers. I think it's ridiculous to say things like if u dont agree with her or so against her doings, dont read her blog. Hello, that's like 2 diff issues????

    Even for myself, there are times when i agree with hj and times that i simply don't. I'll say it out if I don't.

    Point being, good or bad feedback, everyone is entitled to have their say. It's ridiculous to have 100% positive and supportive feedback all the time, we are not living in a lala world but in fact in a world where opinions are bound to differ.

    To sum it up, this is a public blog, not a hj cult.
    In fact, all these differences in opinions (though they can get aggressive @ times) is the thing that constantly got me coming back to this blog.

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  39. It's ridiculous how everyone is judging you, HJ, on everything that they don't know about you!

    I believe you have every right to choose what you want to share with your readers and at the same time hope that they would only wish the best for you too.

    How is it any of their business who you choose to go overseas with and whether how soon is too soon to get over your r/s with Mark?

    There could have been so many other things going on that you chose not to share on your blog and I believe that readers should accept that fact.

    HJ, I guess when you're popular, there tends to be a price to pay. Losing your privacy and even being judged for your own actions and how you live your life. Do take everything with a pinch of salt dear, cos some people just cannot live with their mouths shut.

    I'm supporting you! :)

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  40. Anonymous9:43 am

    why is everyone so free.................................

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  41. Anonymous12:19 pm

    Hi guys. I think that HJ has every right to post up whatever she wants. This is HER blog. Whether or not she seeks attention that HER problem. Everyone else has problems in their lives and would like a little attention. It is only human nature. Before you call anyone a slut look at yourselves in the farken mirror. No one has the right to judge anyone unless you're Mother theresa!! This comment box is where you would post your opinion or your thoughts on a blog. Not flooding it with name calling. Also,to whoever that said this "Are there any old white men left in Singapore that you haven't slept with?" Seriously, go fuck yourself. You know i admire HJ for taking in all this bullshit from you people judging her without stooping to your level. And hey, you dumb fark. Everyone would have a point in their lives when they would feel insecure or less confident of temselves. I suggest if you have nothing nice to say keep it to yourself and if you feel that you really need to say it out loud tell it to the farken wall. It takes a bigger slut to know another one. So to anonymous who called her that, would i be seeing you in Geylang or Orchard towers sleeping around? Cause seriously only the guilty ones would say something like that. To think that Singapore is a modernised and well developed country with such narrow minded people is beyond me. *peace out everybody.much love.* -AJ-

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  42. Anonymous12:19 pm

    Hi guys. I think that HJ has every right to post up whatever she wants. This is HER blog. Whether or not she seeks attention that HER problem. Everyone else has problems in their lives and would like a little attention. It is only human nature. Before you call anyone a slut look at yourselves in the farken mirror. No one has the right to judge anyone unless you're Mother theresa!! This comment box is where you would post your opinion or your thoughts on a blog. Not flooding it with name calling. Also,to whoever that said this "Are there any old white men left in Singapore that you haven't slept with?" Seriously, go fuck yourself. You know i admire HJ for taking in all this bullshit from you people judging her without stooping to your level. And hey, you dumb fark. Everyone would have a point in their lives when they would feel insecure or less confident of temselves. I suggest if you have nothing nice to say keep it to yourself and if you feel that you really need to say it out loud tell it to the farken wall. It takes a bigger slut to know another one. So to anonymous who called her that, would i be seeing you in Geylang or Orchard towers sleeping around? Cause seriously only the guilty ones would say something like that. To think that Singapore is a modernised and well developed country with such narrow minded people is beyond me. *peace out everybody.much love.* -AJ-

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  43. Anonymous1:44 pm

    well its interesting. and very true she is entitled to say and do what she pleases. I do not consider her a slut. i think that and of course this is gleamed only from her blog, i think that she makes the same mistakes over and over again. That is the issue here isn't it? you leave 1 relationship and are ready to move quickly into another one. Or could it be that you cannot imagine life without a partner? its not just dating if you travel with the guy. its time you sorted yourself out by yourself. good luck and i do hope your trip is going well, check out my ip i posted stuff above but it turns out , wasn't that funny.

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  44. Anonymous4:49 pm

    Anon 1.44 - you also keep making the same mistakes, revealing your sad and pathetic prejudices over and over.
    Dont you get it....just because YOU may need 6 months b/w relationships (if indeed you've ever even had one - not counting your hand)doesnt mean everyone else does.

    And...OK - so travelling with a guy is a supposed to be a sinful step up from dating is it ? Let's see then ...a taxi ride from Changi to Jurong is sinful if with a partner? How about a day trip on the ferry to Batam together ....that's overseas s it must be sinful!

    I'd seriously encourage you to THINK before you comment, you'll save yourself soooo much embarassment in life when out in the real world

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  45. Anonymous6:21 pm

    ^

    Anon 4:49 - you're talking rubbish aswell. Of course taking a holiday with someone you're dating is a step up from drinks at Clarke Quay.

    Don't make the mistake of being so politically correct that you end up not saying anything meaningful at all.

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  46. Anonymous9:44 pm

    Anon 6.21 Fortunately most people aren't as small minded as you are kiddo...adults can travel together without a chaperone these days and it aint no reflection on their character - at least not among normal people - are you living in the 1800's or something ? Sheesh, get a life or crawl back under your rock! leave the poor gal alone and bully someone else on line

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  47. Anonymous10:33 pm

    "Free your mind, and the rest will follow" - advice for HJ... AND for several of you Anon's

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  48. Anonymous11:03 pm

    Anon 9:44 - lots of hyperbole. But your underlying point, that going on holiday with a date is not even minor deal, is wrong.

    Oh, and I'm a modern person, probably much as you are. But when it comes to booking plane tickets with someone, unlike you, I stop and think.

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  49. Anonymous2:27 pm

    Anon 11.03 - if that works for you then that's fine - just don't judge others by what your needs and values are.

    HJ strikes me as a free spirit and spontaneous - that's to be admired in my book.

    So she makes mistakes - so do we all and I haven't heard her bitching about them - she accepts them and is frank enough to face them - again - admirable.

    Maybe a little more spontanaity and risk-taking would enhance all our lives cos there's no growth possible without risk - just a sad, sheltered existence

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  50. Anonymous3:05 am

    Go for wavy hair! Really. I think the short straight hair drags down your look abit ): no offense intended! just my honest opinion. looking forward to seeing you in wavy hair (should you decide to make the switch).

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