I am all for the Internet and technology and its advancement.
But there's also a part of me which feels like I would have been happier if I were born a few generations earlier... before mobile phones, and the internet.
Back in the day, relationships used to so much more stable and concrete. I look at my grandparents and my parents generation and I see couples who stick together through thick and thin. There isn't a question of quitting or wandering... there were much less distractions... you love someone, you get married and that's your life.
But I look at my generation... over the last couple of years ... I have had a couple of divorced friends, one broken engagement, one less than ideal marriage, one who can't get any commitment from the guy even after 3 years, another who is married but fighting all the time.... plenty PLENTY of aquaintences who cheat on their partners.... and then there's me... almost 30 and making mistake after mistake in relationships.
Among my peers, there's no happy ideal model relationship that I can look up to. When it comes to love, pretty much everyone seems to be doing shitty really.... it's just that some are better as masking it (perfuming the pig- as Mark used to call it) than others.
Why do I blame the internet?
Just look at your past failed relationships... how many issues which arised during the course of those relationships were linked to the internet?
For me... and those around me... A LOT.
The internet has opened doors, erased borders and just gives everyone access to a whole new world. The internet has also made it possible to keep checks on your partners easily and catch possible infidelity.
But it also facilitates making new friends, finding old flames, etc., that has the potential to destroy a current relationship. When once we were dependant on our own little social networks.. (work.. church... school... peers.. the neighbourhood)... in order to meet people... now, new faces and new adventures are just a few clicks away. All it takes to destroy a relationship is that one moment of folly, that one click due to a lapse in judgement.
In the past, people would just lose touch with each other, as they split up, moved away, changed jobs, etc. You'd have to be very very keen in order to seek contact with someone you knew a long time ago.
But today... our past NEVER goes away. You never get rid of the people from the past. It just accumulates. Like some time bomb of temptation.
Something will trigger a memory, and all of a sudden you find yourself Googling your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.... or browsing through their photos on Facebook. Is it purely just idle and innocent curiosity? Maybe.
But once you find them, then what? Do you reach out in the name of friendship? Do you tell your current partner about this? What if that person is still single?
And trust me... when you are going through a rough patch (whose relationship is perfect 100% of the time anyway?!) ... these connections over the internet can make you sway instead of focusing on the real problem in your relationship.
Over the Internet (chats, MSN, etc) people can edit their words and seem much more perfect than they really are in real life. Simple written words from someone of the past (or someone new) can suddenly have a strategic importance in your life which can be harmful. And you damn well know that cheating on a partner is easy in this day and age. You can connect with anyone now. And many people prowl on the internet. It's a way of life now.
One example is.. within a few days after I announced my split with Mark on my blog (and also Facebook). Suddenly Mark had about half a dozen girls on Facebook requesting to be his friend. He found it strange, as he's quite a private person. And when he clicked the "mutual friends" link.... SURPRISE SURPRISE... all those women were friends with me on my facebook!
Ok... granted, they're not good friends... (I have like 2000 people on facebook)... but still... to try to wevil their way to Mark (through my Facebook link to him!), as soon as they learnt about our split.... it's pretty damn hoe-ish. Grrrr!
We have limitless options now when it comes to the opposite sex... we don't stick around and try to iron out the bumps ... there's always someone seemingly better out there.
How much do we treasure the bonds we create and the relationships we make, when making a newer better connection is pretty much an effortless process now. Hey.. if this one has a flaw... I'll just chuck him out like I did the rest... after all.. there's bound to be somebody out there that's perfect.
What has the world come to? Am I the only one who sees the negative effects of the Internet on relationships? Tell me I'm not alone here.Sometimes... I wish I were born back in the days of the Little House On The Prairie. Life wasn't one of luxury... but it was so much simpler.