First, a quick update:
- I still have editorial backlog I have to clear :(
- I met up with my ex Mark today... so many emotions... but not ready to blog about that yet.
- Be patient, I'm still waiting for Singtel to tell me which of my readers won the INQ contest ( So Slow!)
- I have a Sony Vaio event/launch to go to on the 8th, that should be interesting.
- I miss my girlfriend in Indonesia and will go see her next weekend.
- My eyelashes still haven't grown back.
- Waiting for a fab dress to arrive from HappyBurger! Think I'll wear it to the Sony Vaio event.
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Meanwhile... can you help me out with today's Ask Holly Jean section.
Hi Holly Jean,
What do you think about guys who obsessively surf other girl's blog?
Is this considered cheating? And what advice would you give their gfs?
The thing is I didn't even check my boyfriend's history but i just happened to type in the google search box and i always see the girl's blog at the top of his search list :( was quite devastated initially.. it has since been about 2 months and i haven't confronted him.. yet i still cant get this crapping devastated feeling off my chest
so i'm wondering if i'm over-reacting or do i really have a reason to be pissed off?
Thanks babe
Wondering while wandering
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Dear Wondering while wandering
Being a jealous person myself... if my boyfriend had the need to check out some chick's blog regularly... I'd be very very unhappy about it. He must obviously be very interested in her (especially if it's just a tra-la-la personal blog and not a blog of a specific common interest he might have, for instance about computer games or something)
But I also have to admit that my tolerance for such stuff is very low and I do tend to over react over small things. Plus my blog has 30% male readers. They can't all be my exes checking up on me...lol... and I'm sure some of these male readers are in committed relationships. And none of them have crossed the line with me (not over friendly or anything like that).
If it is enough to leave you feeling crappy, I suggest you speak to him about it. Or at least just mention that you find it strange that this girls name keeps popping up in his searches. And see what he has to say.
But I am interested to know what my guy and girl readers out there really think if they were in this situation. I think getting other people's opinions on this issue will be useful.
Here's a poll. Click your answer. (only one vote allowed per IP address)
- I still have editorial backlog I have to clear :(
- I met up with my ex Mark today... so many emotions... but not ready to blog about that yet.
- Be patient, I'm still waiting for Singtel to tell me which of my readers won the INQ contest ( So Slow!)
- I have a Sony Vaio event/launch to go to on the 8th, that should be interesting.
- I miss my girlfriend in Indonesia and will go see her next weekend.
- My eyelashes still haven't grown back.
- Waiting for a fab dress to arrive from HappyBurger! Think I'll wear it to the Sony Vaio event.
-------------
Meanwhile... can you help me out with today's Ask Holly Jean section.
Hi Holly Jean,
What do you think about guys who obsessively surf other girl's blog?
Is this considered cheating? And what advice would you give their gfs?
The thing is I didn't even check my boyfriend's history but i just happened to type in the google search box and i always see the girl's blog at the top of his search list :( was quite devastated initially.. it has since been about 2 months and i haven't confronted him.. yet i still cant get this crapping devastated feeling off my chest
so i'm wondering if i'm over-reacting or do i really have a reason to be pissed off?
Thanks babe
Wondering while wandering
---------
Dear Wondering while wandering
Being a jealous person myself... if my boyfriend had the need to check out some chick's blog regularly... I'd be very very unhappy about it. He must obviously be very interested in her (especially if it's just a tra-la-la personal blog and not a blog of a specific common interest he might have, for instance about computer games or something)
But I also have to admit that my tolerance for such stuff is very low and I do tend to over react over small things. Plus my blog has 30% male readers. They can't all be my exes checking up on me...lol... and I'm sure some of these male readers are in committed relationships. And none of them have crossed the line with me (not over friendly or anything like that).
If it is enough to leave you feeling crappy, I suggest you speak to him about it. Or at least just mention that you find it strange that this girls name keeps popping up in his searches. And see what he has to say.
But I am interested to know what my guy and girl readers out there really think if they were in this situation. I think getting other people's opinions on this issue will be useful.
Here's a poll. Click your answer. (only one vote allowed per IP address)
Comments
But honestly speaking, there is a need to trust your partner. Cut some slack. There is nothing wrong with checking out a blog written by someone of the opposite sex.
WHat then?
JB
Human are just curious creatures
This is not completely related but I think it might illustrate your situation a bit more clearly.
I enjoy looking at people - male or female, good-looking or ugly, hot or not, stylo or milo. I look at their hair, skin, body shape, clothes, etc. My partner knows this about me, and often I share my observations of others with her. Funny thing is, I've noticed that when I look at a guy, I'm the one who has to initiate the 'sharing'. I'll say something like, "that's a nice shirt" or "he looks like (her favourite actor)" or "crocs?? but he's not a senior citizen and/or blind!" whereas if it's a girl I'm looking at, I can always count on her immediately noticing without me having to say anything. Even if the girl is not hot and looks ridiculous in a bright yellow top and pink tights. Basically, she's just more aware. She could be milking a herd of cows wearing a leaden hood surrounded by a team of sumo wrestlers in an electromagnetic field that permanently affects vision - I look at a girl and she knows it. Not that she's jealous or anything, but she's just more alert to it somehow. I'm thinking it's a natural instinct thing? Some built-in radar that a girl has?
So how is this relevant? Well, you might be worried because the blog that you came across happened to be a girl's. But perhaps there's a bunch of blogs that he regularly checks out, both boys' and girls', that you're not aware of, which would suggest that he's not so much cheating as he's just a kaypoh digital native like pretty much the rest of us. I for one have a core set of blogs that I check out regularly - 2 male, 2 female. Cos I'm Libran and I'm just balanced like that. Hur hur..
Besides, if it's any consolation, coming from a guy, there's not much pleasure to be had out of checking out a girl's blog, no matter how hot she is. Even if there's loads of uncompromising photos of her and her friends. In fact, we're better off checking out some good porn.
So yeah, I don't think you've got anything to worry about. But in case I'm wrong, check his phone and computer at least twice a day, plant a hidden camera in his bedroom pointing at the computer, go through to his trash to look for signs of cheating (with his left/right hand), get all his friends to tell you every dirty secret he has (pay cash), follow him around, smell all his clothes for traces of other women's perfume and watch Fatal Attraction seven times for inspiration.
:)
I don't know Holly Jean, and I've never made any efforts to get in contact.
my bf read my friend's blog from the very first entry which doesnt prove that he s having affair with my friend .....
i felt nothing even when he told me about it... a little shock but nothing else afterwards... no crappy feeling
Strangely enough... doesn't correspond with the current poll results though... cos many in the poll indicated something's not right.
Those who think it's wrong... pls do share your opinions/ experiences.
:)
I have an idea for your next entry - Do you think its right to pry into your partner's privacy such as computer, mobile phone etc.. Of course you can word it the way you like.
Pertaining to your entry today, I don't think there is anything wrong with reading a blog written by a female. There is nothing to be jealous about.
Perhaps I don't get jealous that easily, that's why, which is not a good thing sometimes.
i guess some pple are just... kpo?
i think, its better to check the girl out. if she is his acquantance or just someone unknown.
if she is an acquantance, then the gf would have to be alert to anything he might say about her etc etc etc.
i think the bottomline is... if the gf sees the girl as a threat. =)
if she is someone unknown... probably... the girl is.... of interest. like a model, very pretty etc. might be nothing wrong here. since the girl is kind of like on a pedestal already.
just my oinion.
It varies to individual.
There are many reasons why a guy is obsessed in reading other gal's blog.
First of all, what is the context of that gal's blog, is that any obscene/sexy pictures or it's just a random-daily blog.
If it bothers you alot, you should talk to your guy(in a nice way) as the most important in r/s is TRUST and COMMUNICATION.
We can give you OUR views and comments but the most important is to hear it from the HORSE'S MOUTH.
Good Luck!
i dont think its anything wrong. But if you do feel uncomfortable with it, you could talk to him about it. Not in a way that you are accusing him or anything, just casually.
but i think it's really nothing. maybe after your "talk" with him, you could both comment on the blog together or something? (that is if he is really viewing the blog for fun)
In any case, do not panic. Give him some space too. take care!
thanks for your views and all the encouragements.. well to a certain extent i do agree that it is ok to visit others' blogs regardless of gender (yes! its human nature to be kpo, including me)
the sad thing is that not only is the girl's website at the very top of his search list, he has been googling about details like her vital stats etc..
yea.. I'm haunted by that sad fact whenever I type g (for gmail) and i see all the drop down list with all the words starting with g that he has been searching for..
sometimes i do wish that it was just some random porn site that he was surfing..
somebody give me a slap to wake me up! :((
Dont panic, its alright. Please dont do make issues like this big, enjoy life people (:
Juz like porn..which im sure most have seen it b4..is whether you are able to detach yrself from it at the end of the day.. and anything when done or consumed excessively, becomes a problem.
So guess the reader has to gauge the situation and not be over paranoid.
My girl reads your blog too and we're loving each other :D
What do you mean by that?
It could be just plain interest. But I think if it's an ex's blog, then there's something deeper here that needs to be discussed.
I suggest that you ask him gently and settle this issue :D
take care!