Sunday, September 06, 2009

Is It Too Soon To Date Again?

This afternoon, I had high tea at Olive Tree with some other bloggers (including TravelFolio's Eunice and DK) and representatives from Malaysian Airlines. Ten of us are going to be the Sg Bloggers for Malaysian Airlines.
This includes sponsored travel. Yay! More interesting things to blog about! Will tell you about it when the time comes.

I actually received my accessories from HappyBurgers earlier this week. But I haven't had the mood to wear them until today.
Nice big of chunky accessories for my meeting with M'sia Air reps!



I Heart this Bangle! It's white faux leather in the middle, and gold rims, with stud-like gold braces in strips. Happy Burgers sells clothes too.

So after the meeting, I zipped down to Parkway because I was going to meet a (new) date for coffee. Met him online today itself and we fixed up coffee.

We were supposed to meet at 5pm, But at 4.30, I texted him to say, make it 5.15pm because my meeting was taking longer than expected.

I left the meeting at 5, thinking it will only take 15 minutes to get to Parkway from Bugis. It usually does. But sods law... I got there at almost 5.30pm.

I think he was pissed off that I was late. I apologised, sat down (he was waiting in coffeebean), and he said he only had 15 minutes because the maid was coming to clean his place at 6pm and he had to get back by then.

Honestly, I would have preferred no minutes.

It was uncomfortable. I sat there with no drink. There was zero attraction.

God! Is this what dating is going to be like until I finally find someone special again?

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Last night, my friend Ben took me out for beers at Pasir ris Beach (there's this bar there called Summer Breeze). I like it.

Anyway, he thought it was a BAD idea for me to start dating so soon. He thinks I need time to myself.

Yes, it has only been 4 days since the break up. And these 4 days have passed so fast because I've been keeping myself so busy.

It's only in brief moments of silence when I catch myself feeling sad, alone and lost. But with experience, I know that these moments will happen less and less often. I'm moving on.

I really don't see the point in letting myself be depressed about it. We did all we could. It just wasn't meant to be.

I blogged once that I can be very strong when it comes to getting over break ups... (click)

I'm still that same person. The Bull Dozer.

I think I am ready to start dating.... have fun, socialise, and get a feel of what's out there for me. I'm not going into it looking for someone to marry next week or something! I don't expect that I will come across a Magic Moment with anyone... not this soon. So I'm not going to get my hopes up.

What do you think?

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Update:12.20 am. This is harder than I thought it would be. Just had a mini melt down. It's funny how it can be ok the whole day...and then suddenly I'm lying in bed, and missing his scent and his warmth.

21 comments:

  1. hazura11:01 pm

    hello holly, i enjoy reading your posts :) in my opinion, using ur break up to increase your readership would be an absurd thing to do. so i dont think that's your intention right? it's ur blog and u have your own say and your posts are very genuine and interesting. keep ur chin up and do your thing!

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  2. Anonymous11:02 pm

    Answer: YES

    Ready for marriage last Thursday, but ready for dating today?

    huh??????

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  3. Anonymous11:16 pm

    I think that the time alone to regroup is definitely important. You need that. It is ok to go ona few random dates to get your mind off mark (if you have to). The best thing is to fill that loneliness with the company of friends. However, if you have to, go on dates but with the sole reason: To have something fun to do and get ur mind off mark, NOT to find another bf.

    When you have become less sad, take a few months to be single (in the sense that you are not dating seriously or otherwise/ and not dependant on anyone to make yourself happy). In these few months, be happy wiht just your company. And when you feel that you don't need to date, start dating.

    The problem is what u are doing now is that you'll keep dating, meet someone that "seems to fit" and make all the mistakes again.

    Also ask yourself, what was done wrong in the previous relationship. Were you too clingy, too dependent, too pushy?

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  4. Anonymous11:33 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
    i cant believe you waited this long? whats it been? 4 whole days man your will power is amazing. It really meant that much to you? man if you both feel the same way mark must be married by now.

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  5. Anonymous11:35 pm

    Anonymous said...

    Answer: YES

    Ready for marriage last Thursday, but ready for dating today?

    huh??????

    11:02 PM, September 06, 2009


    BEST COMMENT EVER

    ReplyDelete
  6. anon 11.16- ur right... I'd only be dating because I want to replace the void that mark left behind.

    I guess dating is not a wise move.


    anon11.02- never said i was ready for marriage... i did say tht all my Gfs were getting married and I'm one of the last ones left.

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  7. We will be interested to hear about your dates. Now the girls should start worrying because Holly is free like a bird!!!! You will be fine, babe!

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  8. to me, i dont think going for dates now is smth inappropriate to do so?
    why not i mean? its after all socializing, having fun n experience singlehood?

    but i do agree at least u have to sort ur emotions n thoughts clearly, drawing the lines for ur dates?
    *but i believed u already doing that ya holly? (:*

    as for the date that very shitty just now? its that guy's loss? haha..though whats wrong in waiting for a lady for 15mins? even if its 30mins if he included the postponed 15mins be4 hand? Aint its smth "gentleman" like to do so to wait for a date? somemore its a first date?! -.- glad its zero attraction holly! *phew*

    all the best for ur up-coming travels! & yes i like ur bangle at first sight! gosh~ hope they have it on sale~ xD

    Qf^^

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  9. Hey Holly,

    I think it is fine to just go out on casual dates, just for fun and all. It doesn't mean that you've moved on or anything. I broke up with my ex amicably (we're still in contact) and i started dating a week after that, but until now (7 months later), i only think of him and he feels the same too.. it's only the distance that's keeping us apart. But I still continue dating, simply because I don't believe in being stuck in a rut.

    I feel that you should date as and when you think is right and nothing should stop you from getting to know new people who might just be the 'right' one for you. Do whatever you feel like, you're a single girl now. :) It's fine to think about the ex because he's still a part of your history whether you like it or not.

    (As for me, I still believe that I'd get back with the ex, if the chance arises.. but I am not gonna put all my hopes too high and get left behind.)

    Be well and take care girl, take your time to heal.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Celestina8:07 am

    Holly
    Only time can heal, hence there is NO remedy on how to hv 'Quick recovery' frm a broken r/s.

    Bury yrself wif work & social dates will help. Dun tink abt gettg another b/f so soon to so call 'replacing' mark. U will only jump frm 1 fire to another.

    I knw its hard to leave the past behind u. Till now i still miss my ex - his voice, his kiss & all, cos we dun even contact ea other.

    i hv faith u will pick yrself up real soon. U go gal! : )

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  11. Actually so long as u are officially single, yes (casual dates) and why not?

    It's the emotional part i guess which make it pretty hard at first.. like u are at this cafe with a new date and memories of the past (eg: how he feed u, the words, the feelings etc would somehow flash here and there.. it's inevitable haiz...

    Anyway we all know u are a tough gal and im sure God has his good plans for u.. hang on and take gd care =)

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  12. I don't think there is anything wrong with dating around now.. =x
    to be very honest, i flirted v my ex who is not over me, after a break up.. i guess is a pretty bad action to do, but i couldn pick myself into a piece, i felt so unattractive and so hurt after my break up.. i don't mean you should do it like me.. but i would say move around keep yourself busy and have some fun. meanwhile if you can always acknowledge the feelings that you are upset and hurt. it will be suppressing the feelings if you dont ackowledge it and it might burst out one day.

    All the best, i am sure you can do it :)

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  13. hey holly, may i ask what nail polish you're using?

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  14. Anonymous12:13 pm

    I don't quite understand the term 'casual dates' as used by some commenters. 'Casual' seems a bit of an unneccessary adjective.

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  15. I think they mean dating without pressure/view of commitment?

    xoxo- its OPI's nantucket pink

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  16. Anonymous3:56 pm

    Where do you meet your men - which websites?

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  17. Anonymous5:37 pm

    holly, u seem like a great person... who cannot live without the attention of the opposite sex.

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  18. When I'm single ...I'm ok alone, and quite happy to date around.

    But I'm at my best when I have the attention of just one special man. I don't want to have many men about me, just the one.

    That's the way I am.

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  19. Anonymous9:37 pm

    Just a thought-- probably not the best idea to keep an open blog that, at times, is more like a diary, while at the same time trying to find and maintain a healthy relatioship... Don't get me wrong, I love reading your blog and admire your honesty...Its just if your boyfriend (ex, current or future) reads it too, sometimes it could be "too much information"--weather it is about your past (boyfriends, lies, mistakes) or some of your random thoughts and opinions that you probably outgrown by now. Most men like to work to find out about what person a woman is, when its all out there in the open-- there's no mystery... And some stuff is definately better left unsaid.

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  20. Anonymous10:17 pm

    agree with anon 9:37

    and anon 5:37am has totally hit the nail on the head also

    you don’t sound like you can be happy as a single person, at least without dating… which isn’t really the same as being happy when single, is it?

    You keep saying that you’re “strong” and “just move straight on”. But I think you misinterpret strength with drive to find the next guy.

    Maybe I’m wide of the mark (pun intended)

    :)

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  21. Murphy8:05 pm

    I Wanna Be That Man!!!

    ReplyDelete