I don't know if Mark heard it but pretended not to (because he didn't want me to start getting paranoid about the issue)... or maybe he didn't hear it... or if I was just hearing things in the first place (doubt so.. if anything, I'm deaf because I don't listen well when people talk. So I think I definitely won't hear non-existent things!)
I will re-visit the topic of dating an older man, because now I am in a serious relationship with one and have perspectives on it which I didn't have before. But I'll leave that for another day.
Today, it's --> Are Women who date older men Gold Diggers? (What do you think?)
However, I do admit, that when I was much younger, I used to think that EVERY relationship with an older man was basically a gold-digging situation.
In fact, I still do think (quite often) that when I see a young woman with a man who has a fat gut, balding head and wrinkly skin (basically anyone unattractive.. doesn't have just to be old). It makes me think... there can't possibly be any sexual attraction there... so it must be cold hard cash.
But if he were good looking, and I was attracted to him... would the story have turned out differently?
I don't know. Even if he were rich AND physically attractive, I just think that a man who uses his wealth as a hook to get women... is not very appealing. Like what sort of women is he trying to attract?!
Granted, if you worked at McDonald's I would not date you (no offence please. I'll be your friend, but I wouldn't find you attractive as a partner) ....But an obvious attempt at flaunting one's wealth is a turn off.
I think that a man who knowingly buys a woman is no better than the woman who agrees to sell herself. It reduces human interaction to the level of a business deal.
So.. that said. Why am I with an older man now (who doesn't work at McDonald's and... well, isn't exactly poor)?
If I said that I would have gone on that first date with him even if he were poor and ugly. I'd be a liar. Obviously, I've got to pick my mate based on some sort of standard. Otherwise I'd be dating the whole damn world.
His physical attractiveness is a factor and his stable finances is comforting, but definitely not enough to make me love him. It takes a man of strong character and intelligence to have achieved what he has today. And THAT is the attraction for me. So, would I stand by my man even if he were to hit rock bottom by some twist of fate? Yes, without a doubt. I don't love him for his money, I love him for being the man that he is.
A man mature enough to be able to give without weighing and calculating what he gets back (and no, I'm not talking Money).
To me, at this point of my life, Nothing could be more attractive.
If you could see through my eyes, hear through my ears, smell through my nose and feel through my body and love through my heart... only then you would understand.
So please, keep the bitterness to yourselves.
but I know you probably won't :)