P/s - For those asking for pics of new fringe... nah.
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There are 2 Parts to this post - 1st is testing for pregnancy, 2nd is about whether I want to be pregnant.
Ever since I started the
Ask Holly Jean section in January this year, I've been getting emails from girls panicking and worrying whether or not they might be pregnant. (Usually they say it's their friend who's in the situation, and they're asking on their behalf) !
And yes, I do reply to every email that comes my way (the best that I can) but ... come on... I have pretty good intuition but I'm not some sort of Wizard. How am I supposed to know if you're pregnant or not?! This is one problem I simply cannot solve for you.
So hopefully, anyone in this predicament will google or search my blog and land on this post. Or If I get another email about this topic, I can just send them this link.
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So you THINK you're pregnant?
Firstly, there's absolutely no point panicking or having sleepless nights waiting for your late period.
No point thinking that you're pregnant. You can't make objective decisions or move forward unless you're sure. Go get tested! It's sooo simple.
You can get a test kit (about S$8 to $15) from any pharmacy or supermarket. It's usually stacked up where all the condoms are. Just get the cheapest in my opinion, they all work the same.
For the sake of demonstration, I got one today. I also find it fun to do stuff like this, just for kicks.
Take it out of the packaging. Take the cap off. There are instructions, but basically they all work like this -
1. pee on the end.
2. Replace the cap, and lay it flat.
3. Wait for results in the window. Mine appeared within seconds. But it can take up to 5 minutes (not more)
4. One line - NOT pregnant. (That's my result). Two lines - Pregnant. (It should be 2 clear lines)
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Ok, so if you are pregnant (and don't want to be) ... Now You Can Panick (a bit).
See a doctor. Consider your options.
If you want an abortion, in Singapore, the legal time limit for abortion is 24 weeks into the pregnancy. But I heard that anything after 12 weeks is through surgery. This is messy and more risky. Below 12 weeks, the abortion is done via vacuum.
I looked it up and it can cost between $300 to $2000. I remember when I was an undergrad, one of my friends got pregnant. And I followed her to the polyclinic to get a refferal to KK hospital. She had to do this because if she were referred over to KK by a private clinic, the abortion would not be subsidised and end up costing more.
If you asked me, I think it's very cruel to abort. But I am still pro choice (the lesser evil perhaps).
If you're thinking - hmmm maybe I can just eat a lot of pineapple and try to get a miscarriage.... Don't be stupid.. all you're going to get is a bad stomach ache.... and still be pregnant. Always see a doctor!
Don't cry over spilt milk... and don't just ignore it hoping it isn't true. Talk to your parents (if you dare) and your BF (or whoever it was) and consider your options ( to keep it, abort it, or put it up for adoption).
------------------The Second Part of my post
You know... when I did that pregnancy test kit even though it was purely for fun and demo purposes.... when I was waiting for the results to appear, for those few seconds, I had a secret desire for it to come out positive. Imagine that!
When only one stripe appeared, I felt a tinge of disappointment.
I don't know why I felt that way. I mean... I haven't been trying to get pregnant.. and I definitely believe in marriage first before having children. I am conventional like that.
It's somewhat scary that I felt that way. I mean God... realistically, if I got pregnant, it would be a nightmare! Do I get married straight away? Do I abort? Would my life ever be the same?! Would I question if Mark only married me because I was carrying his child?! It's insane.
So... be safe everyone. Plan for these things.
What do you think? Have you ever felt this way? If you found yourself (or your girlfriend) pregnant, what would you choose to do? What's your opinion of women who choose to have kids even if they're not married? Be honest.
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For ladies who go for brazilians...
On a side note, it's kerry's birthday and for the month of August, everybody is getting a gift.
For every session of brazilian wax (only $46) at
The Golddust, you will get a free pair of tiny sexy Brazillian panties! [Not applicable for package or priviledge card.]
Available in 3 sizes and a variety of funky colours. Very bum flattering and great to show off your new brazillian wax in.
OK, that's it for today. Do let me know your comments about pregnancies (before marriage), is it still taboo?
Ever since I started the Ask Holly Jean section in January this year, I've been getting emails from girls panicking and worrying whether or not they might be pregnant. (Usually they say it's their friend who's in the situation, and they're asking on their behalf) !
If my gf pregnant, i will take the full responsible. As for me, i will keep the baby and married her. of course, not only the baby... it's come from my true heart, i love her too.
ReplyDeleteFor my gf point of view, if she pregnant before marriage, she will go for abortion (I am so disappointed when she choose abortion). Anyhow, i will respect her decion.
Thus, i agreed with you, Holly Jean. In order to avoid uncircumstance, we PLAY SAFE!
hello holly,
ReplyDeleteis it possible to get preggers if you had sex without condom? he did not climax into me.
btw i last had my period on the 5july, and i did it today. which means it's alr a month, and my period is usually irregular.
so the probability of it is pretty low isn't it?
i hope you would do an entry about how to have unprotected sex without having to feel guilty afterwhich.
thank you
I'm very conventional too. I believe in getting married first before having sex/getting pregnant but I don’t look down on others who believes otherwise as it’s up to the individuals.
ReplyDeleteI greatly respect women who choose to have kids even if they’re not married as I believe they have thought seriously about the matter before making their decision.
However, I’m irked seeing those who get pregnant, have kids and then ignore their responsibilities as parents.
The bottom-line is we always have to think twice (or maybe thrice) when it involves another life, especially if it’s an innocent one.
Well, this is how I feel. =)
Holly jean,
ReplyDeleteWow, ladies now have the new technology to know whether she is pregnant.
Thanks for the sharing, have the nice day.
As i'm single & nt married, some frens ever posted me the quest wil i ever be a single mum since im of age & may not settle down eventually.
ReplyDeletei tot abt it & i strongly rejected the idea of being a single parent, if given a choice i mean. reason simple. i cant bear not to hv a complete family for my kid. in addition, how would my kid face the world during his childhood when his frens ask him questions like 'where is yr daddy?? what is yr daddy wkg as??' etc etc
it wil sadden my kid even more in his childhood days, if every Father's day, he has no father to be with...
i may be thinkg too much.. but i need my kid to grow up normally jus like other kids..
Hi Holly,
ReplyDeletesome useful information here for the ladies. :) To add on further:
A urine test usually tests for HCG, a hormone that is produced only when the lady gets pregnant. The urine test result is not 100% accurate for 2 reasons.
i) If the lady is too early into the pregnancy, she may not produce enough HCG for the urine test to detect.
ii) If the test kit is corrupted, it may become insensitive to HCG.
Therefore a pregnant lady may still test negative if she does the test too early and uses a less sensitive test kit.
For better accuracy, she can estimate her possible dates of conception (up to a week after sexual intercourse, though usually less than 5 days) and then give a period of time for HCG to show up (HCG can show up as early as a week after conception but may also take up to more than 2 weeks) before doing the test.
Wrt choosing the test kit, there are actually some tests that are designed to be more sensitive than others, so not all tests on the shelf are the same. :) A friend of mine was very early into her pregnancy and strongly suspected so even though her 1st test came out negative. She went out and bought 2 more different test kits and tested all on the same day. Only 1 (yes, the more expensive 1) came out positive.
Sheryldine: I am kaypo, so I shall answer your question. :P Yes, it is possible to get pregnant. Sperm usually leaks out before the actual ejaculation. Withdrawal method is only 75% "safe", vs a 93% condom. There are other contraceptive methods without using the pill or the condom like the IUD but I am not sure how it works. But as far as I know, there are no 100% methods without surgery. However, if you can calculate your ovulation and use a condom, you probably have a 99% chance of not getting pregnant.
Ok, quite a mouthful. :P Prevention is better than abortion if pregnancy is not wanted. Use contraception la. Hope my info is useful for your readers.
Cheers
Cyn
Very educational topic!! I just wanted to deviate from the discussion and comment that your fringe looks good! :p
ReplyDeletehi Holly!
ReplyDeletei came across your blog just a few days ago and am already hooked on it. so i've been reading a lot of your old posts. pls don't think i'm a stalker, i just find most of your post very informative and educational :)
anyway, my 2 cents worth on this topic (though i'm like more than 2 years too late!) is better be safe than sorry.
i've always thought that counting your non-blooming days is enough to keep safe but a friend of mine got pregnant because she didn't use protection. she's in her mid-20s and is very capable of raising the baby herself but she still went for abortion. i was disappointed and sad as a life was lost. she immediately regretted it afterwards.
so pregnant girls out there, pls do consider your own 'mother's intuition' before deciding anything. sometimes giving birth at the most wrong timing can be made right because u brought a life into this Earth :)
p.s. i gave birth at 19 right after my As. it wasnt easy but my girl is 8 now and i cant imagine my life without her.