Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Sex On The First Date

Ok.. here's my response to the question I posed - Sex. How Soon Is Too Soon? Or Too Late.
We need to consider the average male psyche.
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I believe most men are hardwired for the thrill of the chase. And it's human nature to place a higher value on things which are rare or difficult to obtain. Including Women.
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If the same LV bag is sold cheaply .. not many people would be interested in it (I mean... god.. have you seen their awful designs?).... but because they make you queue outside the shop just to have a look at it, charge thousands for it and put you on a waiting list... suddenly it's so desirable.

Desire, Lust... sexual attraction is often fueled by frustration... and erotic tension. And when he has to work for it... and employ all his skills at acquiring it... it will feel like a big achievment when he finally beds you.
But as many readers have already pointed out... there is no right time frame... it's all highly subjective. I guess the key here... is to keep your head on... but not be so methodical and over analyse things that the relationship loses it's spontaniety.

If you feel like going for it... then go for it. I've known people who have had sex on the first date and are still happily together until today.

But if you've always been having that approach and yet you keep finding yourself wondering the next day why they've lost interest in you... then it might be a good idea to just ease up a bit and put a hold on sex on the first few dates (it wouldn't hurt to try!) ... especially if you really like him.
Oh... a word of caution... if you do end up in throes of passion on the first date, do not.. I repeat, DO NOT say to him- Oh, just so you know... I don't usually do this kind of thing on the first date.

According to my guy friends... they've heard it all before. And they'll think- yeah right.

If you feel like holding out a bit longer... then hold out. Any man who dumps you because you won't have sex on the first few dates probably has zero interest in who you are. So you're better off without him.

4 comments:

  1. Mr Fukquik12:14 pm

    well , I think you're right , as a man , I def prefer a woman whose had few partners and who values herself enough to be a bit cautious as to who she lets fuck her - maybe not so imp if she's just a fuck buddy but def if she's gonna be for long term .

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  2. Men being men likes challenge. Have to make them work for it before they appreciate. Sigh...

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  3. but for men, to be able to bed a woman on the 1st date is like knocking out Mike Tyson with only one killer punch - the left hook...!!

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  4. Mr. It-Depends12:07 pm

    I think it depends on the connection and what your are looking to get out of the relationship. If you just want to hook up for a nice fuck with no strings attached, the first night is perfect. If you want a lasting relationship, sure, you can fuck on the first night, but the guy will probably think you do that a lot. Not a deal breaker, but it does sort of lower your worth in their eyes - even though they will still be happy they got to fuck you :)

    So, you have never fucked on the first date Holly?

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