Here's the exact problem:
Dear Holly Jean,
My bf and I have been dating for about a year but it's been so tough for us.
He will be turning 29 this year and I, 23. He works full time and I just graduated from school. Its always the same problem arising between us.... and its an issue with him constantly flirting around with girls behind my back.
I have caught him chatting up girls via online networking sites such as Facebook. My friend has caught him putting his arms around other girls in the club, I have caught him texting other women on his mobile too. I don't know if he has gone out with them too.
I have no idea how much longer I can take his lies, empty promises and what nots. I think he feels that he is just being friendly and there isn't really any harm but he doesn't know how much it is affecting and hurting me inside. I have no qualms about him making friends but there is a line towards making friends appropriately. Chatting them up by sending provocative messages is just not the way to me.
I have talked to him about this subject and asked him to put himself in my shoes... He promises to change but the change is temporary I feel. ( One month, he'll be good.. The next, it'll happen again )
The last straw was recently when we agreed about a month back that he would delete his online networking site FOR GOOD but just a week ago, I discovered that he had restarted it again and went back to adding all the girls he had known in his previous account ( At the same time, sending them flirtatious messages like " Hey Sexy.. I'm back... " etc )
I love him a lot, and a part of me tells me to let go but I'm secretly banking on that little hope of chance that he would change. It sucks a lot because I care so much about him but I don't understand why he cant just be interested in me alone and have to seek other women out?
It does not tally with what he always says to me- like he loves me a lot/sees a future with me etc etc... If you love someone, do you do this to that someone then??
(I changed her name to protect her identity)
Girls and Guys out there. Please do help "Winny" out by being honest.
Because if I just gave her MY opinion. It might be lopsided...
If it were me, I would dump him because I know that I cannot be happy in such a relationship. And I know (now) that not all men are like that. I think that if a man needs his ego boosted by attention from other women then he's insecure... not me!
Or is it a sign of a woman's insecurity if she has problems with her man flirting? Or is he just not ready to settle really?