Friday, April 17, 2009

Dear Diary

Made disappointing trips various places, didn't find anything we really wanted for the house. So at the moment, all the walls are still white and bare, and devoid of character. The floors are equally dull.

The new apartment is energy zapping... esp since I'm the kind who has the obsessive need to get everything done ASAP.

If it were solely up to me, we'd be hopping from one furniture store or art gallery to another... relentlessly.... till we find everything we want. No time for rest until the job's done!

Mark on the other hand likes to take things one step at a time, he wants to enjoy the process and doesn't have the sense of urgency which I do.

We've always known that we're different like that. Yin and Yang. I guess opposites do attract. But I realise I do need to move slower... I'm getting burnt out and my impatience is not doing anyone any good.

Two nights ago, when we got home from watching Revolutionary Road, I told Mark that I had to iron the spare bed sheet and duvet cover before we went to bed. He didn't think it was a good idea and that it could be done the next day.

But I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep properly knowing that there's a pile of crumpled bedding still in the clothes dryer. So I insisted on doing it, and Mark said ok, but he wanted nothing to do with it.

He was watching TV while I brought the board out and ironed in the living room. And it was frustrating, cos the ironing board was wobbly. And after I was done, when I was folding the board up I noticed that one of the legs was bent (hence the wobbles)! So I moaned about it to Mark, and he didn't even look up (he was lying on the sofa).

So I dragged it all the way to the sofa to show it to him, and he told me that he had already said earlier that he wanted nothing to do with it.

OK.. he was right... he did state that as a prerequisite when I insisted on doing the ironing. But I just spent the last hour ironing our bloody super king sized sheets on a wobbly board, in the middle of the night even though I was tired, so we'd have clean sheets when we need a change. And when I pointed out that the leg of the ironing board got bent during the move here, all I got was utter indifference.

That night was the first night ever (since we've become a couple) that I went to bed without him. ( We have a ritual of me falling asleep on his chest first before he goes to bed).

I quietly put the board and sheets away, went into the bedroom, shut the door, and crawled into bed. Alone. Miserable.

I lay silent in the cold and darkness, and felt hot tears trickle down my cheeks. I wanted so much for the door to open and Mark to enter, but all I could hear was the TV outside.

For a fleeting moment... I had a worrying flash that this was exactly how our life would be like in the future.

And then he finally came in and was surprised to find me in bed already, without him. I would have pretended to be asleep longer, just to show him that I didn't care. But I did care. And I wanted desperately for him to hold me.

We had a talk about what had happened, apologised to each other. Moving has been exhausting and stressful for the both of us.

And there I was... getting lulled to sleep again in the familiar and secure comfort of his arms...

13 comments:

  1. Anonymous9:02 pm

    hey holly, this one really cares.
    it will be well.

    and the red boxers is cute :)

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  2. hey thanks...

    actually I just took the red boxer pics off.. will put those in another post tmr instead :)

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  3. Anonymous9:17 pm

    No worries. I think these small semi-arguments are normal for a relationship. What is important is that he was willing to talk about it - however, i really don't like his retort about how he didn't want anything to do with it (when he repeated it to you when you mentioned the ironing board with the bent leg). Hmm, a mean streak? Think my boyfriend would have just said something like, "Oh, I'm sure thats ok" or "I will get it changed". Relationships aren't that easy, but surviving through these small tiffs are important.

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  4. Anonymous9:33 pm

    lucky u...stupid bf of mine doesn't like hugs

    liz

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  5. Anonymous10:18 pm

    ermmm. I used to iron my king sized bedsheets too but realised it's a big waste of time since I change them weekly. Firstly, it crumbles, as in it looks less crisp just after 1 night of sleep. Secondly, I realise the bedsheets "self-iron" by just sleeping on it.

    Try it and you will know what I mean.

    Love, Homemaker

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  6. Anonymous5:16 am

    ummm , you maybe need to get your priorities -don"t start ironing or cleaning just before bed if you wanna have a good relationship

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  7. Anonymous10:33 am

    lol... holly... i do e housework all e time... could that be my ex. took me for granted???

    niway, glad things are okay. chill ya... and slow down, it might be beneficial to e both of u. :)


    BERN

    .

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  8. Anonymous10:53 am

    Why does one need to iron bed sheets?

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  9. Sharon12:39 pm

    Awww...so sweet. S'poren men should learn more from him. Two Thumbs up Mark!

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  10. thanks for the support/listening ear guys. I appreciate it.

    Anon9.17- tht mean streak u mentioned... makes me a tad worried, maybe I haven't seen it ALL yet... :( but then again... I've got the raving lunatic streak in me... so like... I'm probably still getting the better end of the deal here.. haha

    anon10.53- Mark doesn't like crumpled sheets. We change it twice a week. I really don't mind ironing them... we were both so tired tht night and got on each others' nerves i guess.

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  11. Anonymous8:05 pm

    do you live together, or is it his place and you stay there occasionally?

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  12. Aisha8:56 pm

    How about if he doesn't like the crampled sheets then he is the one who should do the ironing?... Or get a maid..or bring them to laundry& ironing service... Or at least show some appreciation to you for doing it. Girl, don't let things like that slide too easily-- you haven't been together for that long yet, he should still treat you like a princess you're, not like housewife! ;)

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  13. i hear you .. and i know where ur coming from... :) but he never made me iron the sheets lol... I just like doing stuff like tht.

    just tht it was a particularly bad day .. we were both tired, it was late... we'd only been in the new home like 2 days or so...

    but gd news today is actually we got someone to come in once a week to change the sheets. I don't want to have a maid. But i guess we got to find some kind of middle ground.. cos if i try to be superwoman... it will cause more tension.. :) will see how it goes

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