Saturday, March 21, 2009

Mr What?

I hate small talk.

Whether it's meeting someone for the first time, or bumping into an old school mate on the street. I'm not one to open the conversation based on mundane observations about the weather.

It's not that I'm a rude bitch who just won't talk to anyone. But if it's down to small talk.. or nothing at all, I'd almost always opt for nothing at all. I'll give a friendly smile or "hello", and be on my way.
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If I were seated and waiting somewhere (like a holding room at an audition), I'd strike a friendly conversation with the girl next to me, maybe about eyelashes, or something trivial like that). But I would definitely not stop in my tracks just to engage in small talk with someone when there is the option to just keep walking.

Big as this world may be... I end up being with the exact opposite. Mr Small Talk himself.

Now, don't take this as a rant. I do love him. So much. But I have started to realise that one of the many fundamental differences between us is that he seems to love small talk.

He'll engage in it every single day, be it with the cashier in the supermarket, the construction worker digging up the road (though I have yet to actually see this), the neighbour... the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker.... ( yes, pretty much anybody who looks at him).

It's not wrong. In fact, it makes him a very friendly, happy, approachable and likable person.
But it's just something I'm not used to ( yet).

Because I'm not like that, does it make me a bad person? When we come down the street, do people think... Oh, here comes Mark. Such a great guy. Shame his GF is such a bitch. (haha... probably)

Does this make us an unlikely pair? Or do opposites attract?
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As you may already know, I've had all sorts of BFs in the past.

I've had The Professor - The one with the least credentials, but talked like he was wise and worldly about practically everything under the sky. (Ironically, this was the one who didn't know I was unhappy and leaving him until the actual minute I broke up with him). Incidentally, this BF also had other alter egos- Mr Print-N-Wank, Mummy's Boy and Mr Rubber Time (he was always at least 30 minutes late. Once, I even waited like 2 hours, and he kept saying "I'm on my way" !!! What? From the moon?!)

Mr Stingy - This one would easily spend like $400 on a pair of jeans for himself. But never took me out for a nice dinner in the years we've been together, not even on my birthday. We mostly ate with my family, or at the hawker center/food court where I paid for my own food. :(

Mr Ladies Man - One of my very first Bfs. Who incidentally ... other women thought were theirs as well!
Mr Butt-Plug - hahaha... no kidding. But he was harmless though. Kept trying to sell me on how all his ex GFs loved to have their butt holes plugged up while having sex. Really not my thing.

I'm so glad to be rid of all of that. I have someone I love, trust (not 100% but getting very close to that now), someone I laugh with, who treats me with patience, understanding and someone I respect. Oh.. and he's ever so punctual!
You know what? I think Mr Small Talk is quite possibly.. in reality, Mr Perfect.

15 comments:

  1. holly! u both looks great together~ n dont care about what others thinks n says bout u n mark being together?! its their mouth, no1 can really stop them ya? communication between couples are important? by talk heart to heart..both parties will dan realise what the other party is thinking about? if not.. we never know? cause we cant read others mind ya? xD just my 2cent thoughts..hope u wont mind, holly
    ^^ im sure ur last paragraph had answered u, he may be the Mr Small Talk that u may hate? but... hey.. didn't he just turn out to be the Mr Perfect in ur heart now holly? be it Mr Small Talk, Mr Perfect or even Mr Inperfect? the most impt is..his Mark...the one dat u feel very content when being around him? being patience with u..being also understanding? if its only just this Mr Small Talk that u dont like about him...why not think it another way... all other point of him..is wat u hav been seeking for as ur Mr Right? ya holly? ^^ from there..u may than start to realise yourself that.. actually his small talks, aint those small talks u always hated? =]he may just be trying to inviting u to join in with him into his world of his thoughts?

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  2. Anonymous1:08 pm

    ha ha , very funny - u dun like small talk with strangers ? so y u spend hours on internet ,yr blog , msn , f'book making small talk with strangers ?

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  3. I think there's a clear distinction - I write my blog to entertain my readers in the same way as one would in a magazine or newspaper.


    I don't use MSN much.

    Facebook is not for small talk... Esp since I'm not one to leave little boring notes on other people's walls all the time. Why? Do you?

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  4. Hairil Majid9:35 pm

    Print and wank!?!?

    Oh my God!

    At least don't print it!??

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  5. haha~ i hate small talks also... it just makes me feel... awkward and so un-me!

    my bf is exactly like yours! he can create small talks to anyone~ sometimes, it just makes me feel like he's flirting around with them (cos mainly are females~ bleh!)...

    esp gg out wif his frenz, it makes the senerio abit stiff when i'm not one who opens up the next moment...

    tsk tsk~~

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  6. hi pinky - yeah i know exactly what u mean! (but at least Mark has small talk with a lot of males as well).

    Hairil- yeah... he had to print it cos he lives with his parents, and shared room with a bro. so he had to print.. and sneak the pic into the bathroom to wank! OMG! good thing i don't mention names in my blog, otherwise.... the incriminating secrets I could tell!!!!!

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  7. ol chang kee5:52 pm

    Singapore is friendly to the ‘white man’ and it extends to the small talk. I am a small talk fiasco yet in Singapore I find myself in friendly banter with everyone from the waitstaff to security guards to kaya toast servers. Have my skills really improved? Unfortunately, no. When I was in New York my new small talk confidence was quickly eroded and I returned to curt monosyllables.

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  8. lol.. Another nice post...
    But your Mr Professor is quite a poor thing... Have to Print & Wank.
    Think he need some imagination....
    U should have helped him at least...

    Don't look for perfection in your spuse cause theres no perfection...
    The only way is to accept each others' imperfection...

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  9. Anonymous11:51 am

    he sounds really nice- better happy than moody :-0

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  10. How about a Mr Big? Ever had that as a bf before?

    Big, as in big ambitions, big car, big house...:P

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  11. Hey holly,
    I think it boils down to culture clash, East vs West. I remember that one of the guys i used to go out with, who was Caucasian - yah, he used to make small talk ALL the time, and I'd be there - smile plastered on my face, just waiting for him to stop gabbing away with the cashier! haha.

    That said, i think it's something we should try to emulate - you're right, it's a gracious, friendly thing, worth learning from.

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  12. DEE- hmm...yeah in general White ppl tend to pay more attention to service staff. I agree. But with present situation, I don't think it's a difference in east and west culture. He's not my first white BF. Have dated many who weren't such small talkers. And dated asians who were.

    The Dude- hmm.. yeah Mr Big... yeah... have had those too! LOL

    Anon 11.51- Yes, better happy than grumpy. anytime.

    Guyver28 - yeah.. loving someone means accepting their imperfections. But I don't see his friendliness as an imperfection of course. :)

    ol chang kee- maybe if ur white, and back on home turf, ppl take less notice of you as ur less of a novelty. I've seen u engage in conversation with service staff here.. actually most of the time they didn't understand what you were saying! They just smile and nod a lot.

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  13. Anonymous1:34 am

    hey holly,

    why is mr.small talk possibly mr perfect? ;D

    vonnie

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  14. Vonnie,

    In relation to all the other "flaws" my exes had.... if being chatty is the only "flaw" I can find in my partner 6 months into the relationship ( i am an analyser and eliminator by nature).. then I actually think it's pretty damn great! haha

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  15. Anonymous7:33 pm

    :) understood!

    -vonnie

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