Holly Jean's Musings...On Being Ethnically Diversed
I remember as a kid, feeling very indignant about having to tick the box which labelled me as "Others" instead of the usual Chinese, Malay, or Indian here in Singapore.
And then somehow along the way, I just settled, and got used to it.
But I just got back from the bank where I had to co-sign something. And when checking my details on the form, and again.. my race labelled under "Others", it occurred to me that no matter who I marry (whether it's White, Black, Chinese or any other race) , my kids are always going to be "others" too.
You cannot un-mix someone. You can dilute an ethnic gene through generations of racially planned marriages, but you cannot erase it. Once you are mixed... you cannot produce an ethnically pure baby, no matter who you marry.
In a world where mixed race people are considered exotic and more attractive... is my "predicatment" such a bad thing afterall? Would I want to be purely Chinese or purely Portuguese or any other One Race?
No, not really.
I should make the best of it, embrace my ethnic diversity, and look forward to creating children who are not limited by ethnic boundaries.
So, if this is the way it goes... won't we one day have to do away with racial labelling? I'm sure the time will finally come when a majority of people are ticking the "Others" box when it comes to race... and it would no longer be viable to segregate/ identify people based a pure race.
On how my babies will look
Out of curiosity, vanity and the fact that I've been clucking a lot lately, I went to http://www.faceresearch.org/ to figure out what my babies would look like if I married my BF Mark.
But the site requires one to plot all the damn points on the photo for mapping and grids. Not only is this tedious, but also impossible to get right. So the baby I created ended up having lop sided eyes and funny face, even E.T. was better looking than this kid!
But if we try to figure this out in a logical way... I think my babies will likely be brown eyed ( because my brown eyes are more dominant than Mark's Blue eyes), the eyes are likely to be big and not slant (none of us have slant or small eyes in our family), tanned skin (probably a colour in between my skin tone and Mark's), brown hair, sharp features (if it's a girl, she'll probably get my long angular face, if it's a boy, he'll probably get Mark's face shape), slim lips (both Mark and I don't have thick lips) , unlikely to be hairy (though Mark has hair on his chest... which I like, on a man).
How exciting! :) And we've already decided to name the baby Destiny, if it's a girl. I want it to be Destiny Leonara (but I haven't sold Mark on the Leonara part yet!) Boy's name.. not really sure yet (maybe Declan... but am open to suggestions).
On mixed race people looking better than average
What makes mixed babies look appealing is human being's natural inclination to be repulsed from people who are too similar to ourselves (we needed this eons ago to prevent inbreeding), and that we are naturally drawn to people who look different or unique (exotic?).
Take a look at model Devon Aoki
Heidi Klum's mixed children
Are these mixed people Stunningly beautiful? I know it's subjective, but I'd put some money on the fact that they're not. What they are though.. is different. And that is their appeal.
Walking about town, I've been discreetly surveying kids from mixed parents lately, and I'd say almost half the time, these mixed race kids are just normal looking (not stunning). When the kids were ugly, the parents are not great lookers themselves ( like you can see the kids got the Droopy eyes from the mom, or flat nose from the dad.. that sort of thing). So being of mixed race does not automatically make you a better looking person than someone of a pure race.
It's Not A Recipe! We're human beings, not food. We cannot really determine which dominant genes will come into play or how much of each ethnicity will go into that genetic blender.
On thing's for sure... Ugly doesn't discriminate. You can have ugly babies whether you are of a pure race or of mixed race.
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P/S- I know... I still owe you guys
1. Free Ettusais MakeOvers
2. That secret Ab exercise
3. ASK Holly Jean answers
and just to add to my growing list of IOUs
4. A video of my brazilian wax ( wax appointment this Monday) [No, not porn-ish, but more of an info-review, but you'll be with me throughout the waxing process]
5. review of a new artsy (and yummy!) dessert shop you'll love
6. Launch of a new website where I'm writing a weekly column
Stay tuned :)
Comments
Destiny Leonara is a really nice name...and actually very suitable for a mixed kid!
anyway, good day to you fellow part Portuguese. :p
haha n no name yet for ur son? hmmm...u seems to lik having a daughter more dan a son? =P
ya i oso not sure wats ur race? but u mentioned purely portuguese? meaning ur half portuguese? half chinese? or?
anyway..to me..u dont have to really think too much of how ur baby will looks lik? even though i believe, every parents on earth will sure wanna they kids to look good & only get the good "parts" from their parents? but... its all cannot be programmed or lik u said ther's no recipe? soo dont worry too much ya? xD though maybe looks r important? but its not the most important? i not very sure how to put it in words? sry =x
take ur time if ur busy lately? but sure cant wait to see ur new posts u mentioned? ^^
cheers` ^^
portuguese and chinese heritage, I've blogger about it before .. at http://holly--jean.blogspot.com/2007/08/my-asian-heritage.html
:)yes qf.. i know looks aren't the most important thing.. but i do feel that kids who start out in life looking a bit better ten to have better self esteem and confidence. sad truth of life huh. looks do matter and influence people.
erm why the sudden sry for ur typos? its alright~? no one is being stupid for having typos? if not im a stupid already long time ago! haha` ^^ no worries~
This "olsen" ger treat you badly or is a bitch.. has nothing to do with Holly Jean right?????
Why must say "since when did being eurasian give you a license to be so horrible? " She horrible meh?
And she said portugese " lost language among eurasians of my generations now" She din say that the world doesn't speak potugese mah. What's your point?
european plus asian not mixed race meh? WTF u tokking.
more profoundly though, being mixed tends to have me wondering where my "roots" are. someone chided "why celebrate CNY? you aren't completely chinese anyway". it sucks hearing that. i told the guy to f*off...
am neither here nor there. and boy trust me, it's hard to embrace both cultures! especially when my parents are confused themselves (mum and dad's mixed too).
*scratches chin stubble*
& sure no1 is being racist here? not even holly is being abit of racist in this topic at all. its seems dat u din really finished her whole post? if not u wont say such things to her.. to me she's just trying to say, there's nth really special bout whether which race u're from? we are all just human after all? so dont really have to fuss over being different? just be urself~ look things from the more positive side at times..ya? xD
literal_, no worries~ ^^ maybe can try looking at those past pictures of ur family or parents? sure it will have clues? n maybe even give u some thoughts of ur heritage?
no offences to anyone here~ just my opinions~ ^^
fyi, it's called graggoks not gragos.
jus because one eurasian girl was pretty proud that does not means the rest are proud too.
you're just being jealous here.
and yes, eurasians, MOST of em are good looking even if they look like malay. doesn't matter what we look like, but we, make up the population of this country too so stop being so racist!
anon8.42 - yes, as mentioned by anon 8.27 , I did say that the langauge is lost by eurasians in my generation. almost none of my eurasian cousins/peers can speak portuguese compared to my parent's generation who can still speak the creole.
I never said anything about the language being lost to the world at large. Maybe you got a bit excited there.
And though I do have cousins who are Olsens, I can't say whether or not the Olsen you are referring to is one of them.
either way, it seems like you have an axe to grind with her, but sorry, my blog is not an outlet for it. I cannot help you, or appease you because I am not the one who treated you badly. Maybe u could start your own? or see if she has one, and leave a comment there (anonymous, no doubt).
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Anon 11.48 and anon 7.43- truce ok?
gragos.... gragoks ... does it really matter?
I think anon 11.48, didn't pull the word out of his/her arse, but simply spelled it the way a majority of eurasians pronounce it.
I don't really know the origins of the word ( Malay? Kristang/portuguese creole?) ... but either way... life goes on.
[I do wish though that you guys would leave a nickname instead of having others refer to you as anon11.11, anon12.35 etc.... get's confusing...]
if you know nothing about our culture and the people, don't interfere.
what about you? one minute you say it's gragos and the next minute you say it's gargos?? (what a word)
make up ur mind dude!!
double check your spelling before hitting the publish your comment button.
ooooohhhh, i better stop here or else i'll be labelled the next arrogant olsen?
Your white elitist comments are not welcome. If all white people think like you (and thank heavens they don't), then good riddance to a group of small-minded xenophobic individuals.
Black + Asian = Mixed.
Asians who don't take pride in their race and wanna be all MJ wishin they were white label themselves 'eurasian' which is ironic because when you say it out loud it sounds like 'UR-ASIAN'. White doesn't mix due to recessive genes, alongside the fact they obviously do not look white either.
Devon is a Japanese chick from a schizo family that think they're white Americans, and Heidi's kids are black. Nuff said.
I am Chinese and have a white father, notice I didn't say I'm half, because I'm not. Stop being in denial idiots you're not a blackanese or a chindian