Friday, November 21, 2008

Dating A Metrosexual Man

A Metrosexual is a man with a strong aesthetic sense who spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle.
This may come as a surprise to many... but I am traditionalist when it comes to gender distincion.

I am somewhat uncomfortable with this new social order, where traditional (meaning-> simple, clear, predictable and non-conflicting!) gender roles are criss-crossing.

I know my views are archaic for this day and age (Don't crucify me, I'm just being honest here). I grew up with the ideals that women are associated with beauty and nurturing while men do manly stuff like ... well... rugby!

So, how do I reconcile this with the current popularity of Metrosexuality among men?

I can't really.

In fact, I think I am actually intimidated by Metrosexual men.

My (new) boyfriend is a metrosexual. And it's great to have someone who looks good, is fit, neat, stylish, and best of all, smells good and clean ...(everywhere).

When we go out, he takes a longer time than me to get ready. On a regular basis, he also does facials, manicure, pedicures, massages... my only consolation is perhaps the fact that he hasn't waxed his body hair off. ( I like hair on a man. It's sexy and appealing because it's a sign of rugged raw masculinity).

On the other extreme of this beauty spectrum, is me. My hair is wash-and-go, make-up is minimal, clothes aren't branded and my beauty regime consists of brushing my teeth and slapping on a good moisturiser.

I know many men (including current BF) who appreciate having a woman who doesn't take an hour and a half to get ready to go out. But having a metrosexual BF has made me feel somewhat inadequate. Suddenly "low-maintenance" and "natural beauty" has translated in my brain to mean "bumpkin" and "plain". Not the best thing for one's confidence is it now?


I really should just get over this envy I have shouldn't I? After all, it's a good thing that my man looks and feels good.

Plain or not. I am who I am, despite who I am with. [Much easier said than believed]

12 comments:

  1. Anonymous4:19 pm

    Hi Holly, I think its difficult not to feel anything - but the most important thing is not to worry because it is your choice and Mark would never judge you for that. You look geat the way you are, do not feel you have to change things just because he does. On the other hand, take it as a window to learn new things - try out new facials with him, find out what works for him and try them out if you want to. But don't do anything you don't want to. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous5:23 pm

    Women should act like women and men like men.

    For guys, there is being clean and there is going over the top.

    For women, its good to make an effort, as long as it isnt a must. I hate it when I cant even pop out to the shop without waiting for her makeup to be done!

    S

    ReplyDelete
  3. You should not feel inadequate!

    I think a man who needs to do all these beauty stuff is covering up for his own insecurity/ inadequacy. not the other way around.

    ReplyDelete
  4. A man can be both metrosexual and manly. That said, it's a fine balance that not many men are able to master.

    I'm generalising here, but a lot of Singaporean men can't seem to tell
    being gentlemanly from being whipped,
    being metrosexual from being a girl,
    being manly from being a chauvinist,
    being a snag from being a pussy.

    We've got guys who cry when rejected, guys who carry their girlfriends' handbags (there really is no excuse), guys who fold 18367 paper hearts to say 'i love you'. I could write an essay about this. But it's late and I'm sleepy, so I'll just blame Korean tv.

    ReplyDelete
  5. yes yes.. good point Saiful.. men can be metrosexual and yet manly... David Beckham comes to mind.

    It's not that I do not like men who are metrosexual.. just tht it makes me feel less of a woman.. somehow...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Metrosexual Man - Me not at all!

    Opinion - Its really up to individual. My teacher used to say when i was in my school days, that its sissy to put on too much perfume. Abit can alrdy...hahaha. (but thats not me)

    Hence, i'm more like you, born in the old school days...where women should be like this and men to be like that...

    But this world is changing, everyone is evolving, at the end of the day, what can be eternal and everlasting = love...

    So don't let some everyday things bother you and your man! Just be yourself and luv your man, and pray that everything will fall in place.

    my two cents...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous11:07 am

    Hi Holly,
    yeap, dated a metrosexual guy before, Japanese. He did manicures, facials and has nicer hands than mine. It sure feels odd man, cuz he was the one who introduced the facial products to me! then, i was just using Oil of Ulay(now Olay) for the skin.

    But in any case, the guy left for a prettier and slimmer girl who could keep up with his night driving supper lifestyle with his car gang. For that, i read your post on the kind on why the guy didnt call or was it this topic?

    anyways, ur blog is funny and the pictures are so apt! i wonder where u extracted the cool pics from.

    cheers,
    old jc schmate from same cca club. ;) think you can guess who, just preferred to stay annoynomous here. E.

    ReplyDelete
  8. hello holly, you're a fan of hello kitty yeah? check this outhttp://www.push-cart.blogspot.com/ lots of hello kitty stuff at affordable prices :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous11:25 pm

    Holly, like you, I like the old school type of guys. But I also like guys who put effort in looking good (just so they know how much hard work woman put in just to look good).
    Anyway, you are not really "low-maintenance"...I mean you do go for waxing regularly and also the occasional manicure/pedicure and eyelash extensions :)
    One of my exs (a Japanese) was a metrosexual too (he even trims his eyebrows).
    But he also play football (American football) on a regular
    basis.
    As long as he doesn't own more beauty products than me, I think I am fine with it...lol :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. HI sara... checked out tht webbie.. and i love the kitty mobile!!!


    hi anonymous11.25pm- I was always under the impression I was pretty low maintanence... i only get a brazilian wax done. I don't need to wax or shave my legs. And I tweeze my own armpit hair out, but even tht doesn't really grow anymore, so like i do it once every two months or so. :) happy girl.

    And i actually dont go for manicures. The one I went to a few months ago and blogged about, was a sponsored one because i had to do a review of the shop ( it's part of earning a living on my blog).

    ANd this eyelash extension thing, was my first time doing it. And it is such a hassle, I don't really know if i can continue.

    But who knows... maybe I'll try out a facial with my BF one day... I might enjoy it and go to "the other side"...

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous12:30 am

    It can get very stressful when/if your man is all decked out nicely and smartly while you are in a short cropped pair of jeans shorts and your track shoes. Looks rather odd and I guess maybe its time to take the effort to dress more appropriately at times. There is a difference between feeling comfortable and making the effort to look good next to your other half. All the talk about not changing yourself for others will eventually take a toil on you, you would inevitably feel under-dressed all the time. Maybe its time to revamp your wardrobe in order to not look so odd when with your other half.

    ReplyDelete
  12. For sure @anonimous , "Women should act like women and men like men"

    ReplyDelete