Saturday, April 05, 2008

White Men Can't Jump. Well, Neither Can I.

It is amazing some of the things people say when they see an asian girl with a white man. Their response shows just how deep our racial stereotypes go. Colonial complex? Sarong Party Girl?? Whore???? I do admit that on the sunny shores of Singapore, Sarong Party Girls do exist. But not every asian girl who dates/marries a white man is an SPG. The stereotypical SPG is provocatively dressed and she frequents nightspots that are popular with expatriate white men, in order to meet and form relationships with them.

Perhaps the most important characteristic of an ‘SPG’ is the fact that she endears everything western. So she hopes to marry a white man and leave this ‘boring’ Singaporean life behind. She hopes to be swept off to a 'better' country in Europe/America where she can fully immerse herself in her caucasian lifestyle leaving her poor and deprived Asian life behind.

But I love my Asian lifestyle and heritage. I have no intention of leaving Singapore and my intentions have always been clear. Hell, if I wanted to live in New York or London, I'd just up and go... why would I need a white man in order to do that?
AND... I have never hooked up with men from pubs or clubs, be it asians or Caucasians. It is not my style. I cannot for the life of me imagine myself getting dressed up and trawling clark quay, boat quay or what?? Atticca?? Orchard towers???? to snag a white boyfriend. [What calibre of men are you getting from such cess pools anyway?]

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Holly Jean's Top 5 Reasons
why she prefers WHITE MEAT MEN

1. I am attracted to men who speak good english.
I don't have an accent, I just speak good English. I can Code Switch between Singlish and proper English. But I find that a lot of Singaporean men cannot do that. They can only switch between Singlish and not very good English. I find that extremely grating to my ears, and very off putting. [yes, not all white men speak good english.... I just happen to be attracted to the ones that do].

2. More imposing size
This reason is a recent one. I realise now that I like tall men, the taller the better, but not twiggy of course! I am not a big sized sized girl but I hate how small men make me feel like a towering juggernaut.

3. Opposites Attract
I have a friend Beau (who is now is Ireland or somewhere like that... Sorry Beau, I forgot!) who used to lecture in Temasek Poly(Singapore). He has an asian girlfriend. He explained that he just didn't want to be with a female version of him. It would be boring. I've always been drawn to things that were not mainstream. I like having a partner who is different from me, yet compatible (oh.. compatibility is sooo important! I've learnt it the hard way).

4. Chivalry
If you've been reading my blog long enough, you would have realised how I prize chivalry. I don't need a man to be soft, on the contrary, I like it when a man is strong. And so many people think that being chivalrous is actually being a softie and giving in to a woman's whim and fancy. Bullshit. Chivalry is being a gentleman. And that takes strength of character, morals and a good upbringing.

By the way, it's utter nonsense that white men go out with Asian women because they expect us to be obedient and subservient. Hello?! Welcome to the 21st century, most men (Caucasian or otherwise) have moved with the times.

5. They tend to be more experienced.
A majority of asian men my age do tend to still be latched on and suckling on their mother's teat. I respect filial piety but there are limits. I do not respect mummy's boys and men who can't stand on their own two feet. I cannot be with someone I do not respect.

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There you go... my Top 5 reasons.

Wh.. whh.. wha.. what??? No mention of dick size?

Well, most women proclaim that white men or black men are better in bed than asian men. And that they have bigger penises.

Though it is somewhat biologically true that asian men have smaller penises. It's not entirely true for the whole population of course. There are white men with micro penises and asian men hung like stallions too. And it is not always in proportion feet/ hand/ nose size or whatever else you silly people have come up with...

Again, I feel it all boils down to compatibility.

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Now, the question I've been debating in my head for a while now.

Am I a traitor to the asian race?
Well, I've come to look at it this way... it's all fair game. Some people happen to get a larger pool to choose from. A bigger slice of the pie.

If the situation was reversed, and Asian/Singaporean men were in demand by women of all races and nationalities, I guarantee that you wouldn't see them choosing Asian/Singaporean women either. (well, the majority at least)

Even Asians who go for other asians, they too can be specific about their tastes. Will you date a Chinese but not an Indian? Do you swoon over Chinese boys who actually look and style themselves to be more Japanese or Korean looking?

I guess the Bottomline is.... just stop being a moral bigot and leave me to my preferences.

17 comments:

  1. Wooohooo, look whose talking babe? BTW, i heard white men or European man tend to want SEX every nite...Can you tahan, kekeke?

    Oh, love ur entry, there is nothing wrong, just follow where ur heart leads you.....

    MYJ

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  2. Anonymous3:29 pm

    Asian men have moved on too. They're grown more worldly, more articulate in nature, successful in their own right and rather than shunning it, they're proud of their Asian heritage. And yet, typical stereotypes like those you pointed out in your post continue to plague them just because you choose to generalise and let a few (or should that be a dozen) rotten eggs spoil the basket.

    You are not worldly either. Your preference is rather insular and typical as opposed to most Asian women I've met who've stayed overseas for long hold the same disdain for Caucasian that you reserve for Asian men.

    On your note about how "most men (Caucasian or otherwise) have moved with the times". Why don't you take your own advice and stop expecting men to be chivalrous? Some Asian women don't get it how it hurts an Asian man that their own kind much prefer Caucasians. As much as it shows how insecure we are, it's true of all races. What if the same was dealt to you?

    The bottomline is, you're an SPG, through and through. And you wonder why a girl as articulate, savvy, classy and pretty as you has been unable to find someone worth settling down with. It's because you choose to tie down your choices to such shallow traits. If practicality and convenience were to go, so would you. The ones that you desire have overlooked you because that doesn't make you a prospective partner in marriage or long-term relationships.

    I'm not trying to be cruel or to start a war by attacking you. I've thought about it meaningfully and want to offer a different viewpoint. Thank you and take care.

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  3. Anonymous10:44 pm

    great points anonymous . .. but it might have been a lot more tactful if the word's "you" were changed to something more subtle. . . like maybe. . . "certain individuals".

    that way we dont get too personal.
    but seriously, awesome points.

    most women marry "up". . .
    and in their eyes angmo's are inevitably upperclass.

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  4. Anonymous12:28 am

    Anonymous #1. HJ's candour is refreshing and praiseworthy. You missed the point of her passage with some diatribe about worldliness. So you travelled with your job a few times and now you think you're more appealing to an Asian woman? Also, in your line about being 'more articulate in nature' there is a grammatical mistake in your sentence that casts serious doubt on the merit of any of your writing. Stop expecting men to be chivalrous? You have some work to do my friend. Maybe the insecurity will go away when you become more comfortable with yourself.

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  5. Anonymous1:02 am

    I don't think traveling makes one worldly. It has more to do with being well-versed in varied human affairs and seeing the bigger picture, I think.

    Maybe what riles me is that when I travel to third world countries and see women displaying the same affinity for white men. It's a promise of a better life for them. I understand. But when it happens in more modern societies, I think it limits how you would live your life. But alas, to each his/her own.

    What's the grammar mistake by the way? I didn't spot it either. Do tell. So we all can learn. =)

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  6. Wow... what's been going on here in my absence? :)

    Ok easy things first- The grammatical error in "More articulate in nature".. in that sentence, Anonymous#1 says "They're grown more worldly..".

    They're = They ARE.
    What he should have used was They've = They have.
    -------

    Next, I never once claimed to be worldly, or brought up worldliness in my post. So I won't really comment on that.

    ------

    I don't really know who I am addressing because everyone is "anonymous".

    But I don't see what moving with the times has got to do with losing manners. (I'm talking abt the point on chivalry). Move with the times = women are given fair treatment in terms of rights and opportunities. Does not mean that we should become Men... pee standing up ... that sorta equality.

    So, if we want doors opened and seats pulled out for us then we have to go back to accepting being pulled by our hair into the caves?
    ----------------------
    "The ones that you desire have overlooked you because that doesn't make you a prospective partner in marriage or long-term relationships. "

    Huh? How do you know this? rather sweeping statement. What are you basing this on? I usually get what I'm after. So... not sure what this is about...maybe it just looked good when you typed it.

    ---------------
    Don't have to worry about me limiting my life because I am attracted to white men. I live like any normal woman in Singapore, I do not deprive myself of the company of Asian male friends, but I am just not attracted to them THAT WAY. Just as one may not be attracted to Fat people, skinny people, stupid people, people of certain religions etc...

    It's just a normal process of selection every individual forms as time goes by.

    I would not have enough time if i were attracted to every different kind there is out there. I'm having a tought enough time as it is ;) ( I JEST)

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  7. Anonymous6:43 pm

    To anon #1 aka Yellow Boy:

    You nicely attacked HJ with this:
    "The bottomline is, you're an SPG, through and through. And you wonder why a girl as articulate, savvy, classy and pretty as you has been unable to find someone worth settling down with. It's because you choose to tie down your choices to such shallow traits. If practicality and convenience were to go, so would you. The ones that you desire have overlooked you because that doesn't make you a prospective partner in marriage or long-term relationships."

    and then you say this:

    "I'm not trying to be cruel or to start a war by attacking you."

    WTF??

    Whether you are white/black/green/purple, mister, you are that "rotten egg" that you speak about.

    And by the way I HATE white men but that does not mean I adore Asian men either. Men are men, blue, black, white or yellow. It's just a matter of choice based on personal preferences and experience, idiot.

    If you can't deal with not being able to get a girl, perhaps you should check your bloody manners and hyprocritical nature and stop taking stabs at HJ, who is, by the way EURASIAN (she can never be the delusional "banana" and SPG)!

    --NN

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  8. Love have no boundaries.
    You chose how you want your life to be, who you want to be with.
    Remember, you may only have one life to live, but you may need to find a few then to meet your final.
    Just stays happy and be what you are, what you have.
    Live with no regrets.
    Cos we can never turned back the clock...

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  10. Hi HJ,
    Wheee, you sure triggered a highly interesting conversation!! :) pity it was slightly spoilt by some nasty comments...It would be interesting to respect other points of view without lowering the language standard.. :( or worse attacking a person directly!

    Btw, HJ, how tall is "too tall"??!! ;)))

    You all have a fun afternoon! :)

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  11. Hey Rob...

    no height is too tall for me... :D
    but of course pre-requisite is that they can't already be dating someone :S

    :)I welcome all comments, even the nasty ones... Just got to dig below the shitty mean surface on top and see the point they are really trying to make I guess.

    Hope you enjoyed your birthday last week end. Sorry I could not be there. (Happy belated B'dae!)

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  12. Hi Holly!

    Here's what I think having dated both Asian and Caucasian men. Seriously, it's all about preferences and how open-minded you are. Upbringing and life experiences count. Being of mixed parentage myself, I'm naturally attracted to people of mixed parentage. In fact I never get attracted to the typical Singaporean guy. I don't speak Mandarin and there's that language barrier amongst other things.

    My experience with Caucasian men have been positive. They're more broad minded and the ones I've met have a greater desire to truly experience what life has to offer.

    The one problem I find with many Singaporean people I know (note: people includes both men and women) is that they're just happy leading a sheltered lifestyle - after your studies, you get a good job, carve out a career, get settled down, get a flat, have kids and once a while go on holidays. Free time is spent doing routine activities etc.

    But with the men I've been dating recently, they have the same adventurous streak as me. Life is not just about getting married by XX, having kids by XX. There's a lot to learn and discover. Be it taking up an extreme sport, or learning a new language.

    And why Singaporeans are like this? In a lot of ways, it's due to our upbringing and education system. We aren't given the opportunities to develop critical thinking. Ok this is another story altogether.

    And to end I'd like to say, quite judging Holly or anyone else who dates white dudes. I'd dare to say my perspective of life has been enriched by dating people who are different from me. And let's face it, it's those who are too myopic that stick to dating people of the SAME race. Seriously speaking, they are Chinese people who say they won't date Indian people 'cause they aren't attracted to them or have made certain assumptions about them. Think abt it.

    Zee

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  13. Anonymous10:05 pm

    Hi HJ,

    Been reading your blog for awhile. You are articulate and sharp.

    Maybe thats what puts MOST Asian men off. But to 'grade', generically, Asian men 'lower' compared to Caucasian men, then i think its a little harsh. I know plenty whom really live their life in the ways you describe your preferred Caucasian men to be. And i am also glad that they chose Singaporean girls as their other halves.

    I do hope you will end up with a nice true blue Singaporean boy.

    Rgds

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  15. Hi JH,

    I absolutely agree with you. Indeed, that's the thing I mentioned to you that happened when I was in Chiang Mai.. so after we met. I have to admit I am still not 100% sure it's the right way to go for me as the decision was "taken from me"...but time will surely tell :)

    Birthday was fun :) but I wold have loved to have you there too!!! :) you would have brought that touch of style and class :)

    Make it a great week to come!! :)

    Rob

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  16. Anonymous10:02 pm

    You are stupid race traitor cunt. Just face it.

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  17. Anonymous4:35 am

    Call a spade a spade. An SPG is an SPG

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