I'm playing wheel of f*cking relationship fortune here.
Most days it's great.. I'm getting all the 'Free Spins' and big money.
Yet, some days I'm hitting Bankrupt five, six, seven times in a row. It's draining. And these days are growing in number.
I don't know much about the 7-year itch... but I seem to be inflicted with the 2-year itch. My last 3 relationships only made it to the 2 year mark. Hell of a coincidence, no?
I looked this up and found that in this day and age, the two-year itch is, in fact, a real phenomenon.
At the two-year mark, the neglected issues begin to emerge and couples are forced to face things they may not have discussed in the beginning: commitment fears, the prospect of losing personal freedom and the responsibilities of marriage and bringing children into the world.
So when these issues start surfacing, the relationship starts to be hard work.
This phase is supposed to last a while, and couples who weather it through end up closer and happier for it.
I don't actually know what that reward feels like. I am probably one of those people who have been implanted with the 'flight chip'. I imagine that I'm like that because when I was a girl, my parents always took me out of situations that I felt unhappy in. Always.
I cried at my first Ballet class, they took me out of that. I didn't like going to kindergarten, so I missed a year of it (which explains why I had a such a slow start in primary school, but hey I made it past university so I guess they did the right thing by not forcing school on me). They took me off the school softball team cos the ball was actually hard and I didn't want to get hit in the face (Hey I'm a girly girl, not a tom boy, so get used to that). I was brought up with the believe that if you're not happy with something, you don't have to put up with it.
So now, I bolt because I'm enslaved to the idea of perfection and happiness and the pursuit of it. I remember distinctly telling my last BF when I broke up with him- that I was just not happy, and I didn't foresee being happy with him. Broke his heart, he was a great person, didn't do anything wrong. But I took flight.
A marriage certificate doesn't come with any special powers that will hold two people together. It's just a piece of paper. So if I want a perfect marriage, I need to have a perfect man.
I don't take marriage lightly. I don't want to end up unhappy forever after (or divorced!)... And let's face it, permanence is scary.
Now I am faced with the similar problem I faced the last three times. Only difference is, I'm more aware of it. And it's at a level where I don't want to lose it. How do I get my present relationship past its fledgling state? Am I doomed to add another 2 year Ex to my list?
I don't know anymore.
Would you like to solve the puzzle?