Friday, December 01, 2006

The Magic of The Falls

[The 2nd Bangkok post is delayed because pics are on Skye's Laptop]


Niagara Falls: Honeymoon & proposal capital of the world
Yes, it is Majestic and Breath-Taking. But oh so cliche.

Yes, Honey, I want my most memorable moment to take place exactly where it was for 37 million other special people before me.
(please note sarcasm here)

Yes, I realise that I am critical and hard to please. I think it has largely to do with the fact that I don't know what I want, really.


The cheap & sad equivalent of it would be proposing to that someone special by Sentosa's Musical Fountain (Apologies to all those who have been/have chosen to propose there).


I don't understand what is so special about these places. They are horridly common & unoriginal.


Have you heard the one about the guy who booked screen time in the cinema just before the movie-- and the screen flashed "Will you marry me, Amy?" (ok, I can't remember what the exact name was, but it was something as common as Amy).
I loathe this technique... because it's as cowardly as getting someone else to say it for you. He should have (if he was so keen on the Cinema Screen Technique) just flashed like a poem/pictures/ played their favourite song on the cinema screen, and then go down on one knee and pop the question himself.
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Here's my list of 5 best and 5 worst proposals possible.

5 WORST (notice I picked the same colour as poo)

  • 5: Ripping off someone else's proposal idea, especially one she already knew about. Or picking some cliche spot like the Botanical Gardens, Sunset on the beach at Sentosa, on a cruise... the void deck of your block (well, it might as well be!)
  • 4: Just proposing after dinner. Especially if it's just some normal everyday dinner, or a dinner she's paid for (!)
  • 3: After sex
  • 2: At the apex of a thrill ride (e.g. just as the roller coaster is about to plunge). Yes, give her two shocks simultaneously, why don't you.
  • 1: Not proposing at all. This may happen because you think you're some kind of new age stud who can do away with such machismo bullshit OR you're just a lazy fucker OR you're afraid of rejection OR worst of all, you take for granted that she will marry you, get a flat with you, have your children, and listen to you snore for the next 50 years.

5 BEST

  • 5: On a nice cool breezy night, look into her eyes , sing her a special song before you get down on one knee
  • 4: On a normal evening, when she least expects it, and you're playing your favourite game together, for instance, mine is Scrabble.... while it's your turn, casually place letters on the board spelling out "Will You Marry me".
  • 3: Jump from an airplane: while being in air you probably will not be able to hear one another, but when you arrive back on the ground it can be the perfect moment to pull out the diamond ring and kneel down on one knee. (please take off all goggles and helmets first)
  • 2: Time it to coincide with a solar eclipse or an asteroid passing earth or something. Have a blanket on top of a hill, lie there together watching the sky for the moment, make it a night to remember.
  • 1: Arrange a short romantic vacation. On the first night, place a long stemmed rose on her pillow, tie a ribbon around it and at the end of it, have a tag that has a picture of you two at the beginning of your relationship and label it "The Past". The next night, do the same thing, but the picture has to be a recent one and the label says "The Present". On the final night, after she falls asleep, place a long stemmed rose on her pillow, and tie a ribbon around it, at the end of the ribbon, tie the diamond ring and Label this one "The Future". Please don't have sleep in your eye or morning breath at this point in time, when she wakes up to discover the third rose. And PLEASE don't still be asleep at this point.
Shit. I actually like my number 1 proposal very much!!!! Now maybe you will benefit from my idea. But whatever you do, make sure she doesn't find out that you ripped the idea off me. And don't tell me about it either, as it would only depress me. I would make an excellent Boyfriend if I were not born a girl.

Remember: The best marriage proposals are the ones which have been given effort and thought. It shouldn't be all extravagant and meant to glorify yourself and show others what a great guy you are, that's insincere. And do NOT pick an ugly ring... shows that not only do you not know her taste, but you have no taste yourself.

good luck.


4 comments:

  1. Dropping hints for Skye ;)?

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  2. haha. no not really. I'm not one to hint at stuff... takes the sincerity out of the actual deed in the end :(

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  3. just once, it'd be awesome to see a girl propose to a guy.

    girls are always talking about what they want but when's the last time a girl ask what he wants?

    The guy whu flashed the proposal on screen, give him credit. he tried harder than most. he probably thought it was romantic and honestly, girls are just so hard to understand.

    good post by the way. I may not agree with some of it but it's a good read :)

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  4. The Idea's are awesome, love the best 1.LOL

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