Sunday, October 15, 2006

C'est la vie!

Does a man's job affect how you perceive him?

Yes. It affects me greatly.
If you asked a woman if it matters what job her mate has... and she says No... Chances are, she's a big fat liar. Can you honestly admit that you would not have different impressions of two men if one was a dashing young fighter pilot while the other a dashing young sales assistant at Tangs?

Girls... It's ok to be honest. The people who scoff at us and say that we're shallow, are in a world of their own. We are on earth, and we need to survive.

I'm not afraid to admit that if I were at a party and there were two guys who showed interest in me, at the end of day, I'd be leaving with the one who showed up in the Mercedes-Benz SLK. Better still if it's a yacht or an airplane! (those who already know me, know my weakness for men who can fly, this comes second only to my weakness of men who can make me fly. Kidding! Gawd... lighten up will you.) Of course, it should also matter whether he is a good person. But his success and affluence in life is bound to push him up more than just a few notches above those who are mediocre. Nobody wants an average boyfriend.......

I think this all boils down to survival instincts. Back in the day, when men had to hunt and bring food home for the family... the women who chose men who were strong and successful at hunting never went hungry. But those with a higher plane of selectivity, who chose the men who made them laugh and had "a real sense of humour" instead, these women probably starved to death in their caves.

How is this judgment of mine fair to the majority of men in this world with (what I consider) mediocre jobs as salesmen, or waiters, or flight attendants, or bartenders, etc? It's not. But this is how the world is, and this is my opinion, like it or not.

Many of these men are my friends, and I don't judge them. But I wouldn't want to marry them either.

Right now you must be thinking.. Oh this girl must be high maintenance! But I am not. Don't believe me? Ask my past Bfs, better still, ask Skye.

I find intellect, ambition and success very appealing in men. Which is why I was mesmerised by 3, yes three, of my philosophy lecturers at NUS.

I dated a Swiss guy who was a doctor for a brief period when I was 23, he was 31 at the time. What attracted me to him was the fact that we had long conversations over dinner and he always had a wide variety of stuff to talk about that would inspire and simply leave me in awe. But things did not go further because he took relationships too casually, and I don't. (He ended up in Italy eventually with a girlfriend who was 16!) The Point is... Life is a whole mess of different kinds of people. You create your own set of ideals. It's like a mental checklist of what you desire in a partner and whether you will ever meet that One Person who checks every single valid virtue or idiosyncratic need that you have on that list of yours... I don't know. (Though as you get older and get quite exhausted of the search, you may want to consider a compromise!)

But I think I've gotten better at this "selection" through the years. Everytime my relationship is about to fail... or fails (yes sometimes I don't see it coming) ... I tell myself that I deserve better... and the next one I go for has to have _____ and_______ and____ (fill in the blanks)...so far, I have gotten better at getting what I want.

On the flip side, are men's opinions of a woman affected by the job she holds? I asked Skye if he would be with me today if on that first date I had revealed that I was a cleaner. And he honestly said no. His reason was that if I could only manage to be a cleaner after 26 years of my life, then I probably haven't applied myself very well. Hmmm... I guess that's his way of saying I don't go for losers.

Do you?

** Please note, this post is not meant to offend. My own definition of a loser may in fact be a perfect girl/guy for you. Just because I am not attracted to people whom I consider average... Doesn't mean that you can't. I'm not dictating what you should think or do. I'm just asking you if that person's success (career, etc) in life matters. How much does it matter?

c'est la vie.







6 comments:

  1. just like u said, different people have different definitions of the word 'loser'. To me, a young spoilt brat who owes his success to his rich daddy is MUCH more of a loser compared to say, a cleaner who was born into poverty and could not afford education.

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  2. Yeah Dk I agree too.

    But with regards to education, in Singapore it's heavily subsidised,and some minority goups (like the malays) get it for free. There are so many organisations out there which provide for needy students. I should know, I'm in the business. So even if one's father is jobless, there's no reason not to be educated.
    Primary school education is compulsory now. But if he/she is going to be a lazy fuck, then he'll get no where. And thus a loser in my opinion.
    I did not come from a privilleged background, but made it past university, all on study loans which I only recently finished paying off.
    So many of my uni mates had fathers who were taxi drivers etc.
    So that hypothetical cleaner's son who didnt get educated... loser to me. (just as big a loser as the 'spoilt brat')

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  3. Robin1:01 am

    well said HJ :)) i do agree hypothetically ..its a matter of hardwired genes..

    Well , now at least i wouldnt be feeling so guilty that i yearn after beautiful woman(good gene selection),with huge mammary glads (my offstrings wont starve) and a set of large bottoms (large potential family nucleus) , its all human nature , isnt it! *blink blink*

    well..hypothetically speaking..of coz :)

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  4. Derek9:06 am

    Though.. maybe u shld know tht the amount of milk a lactating woman is able to produced isn't dependant on the size of her mammary glands. (fats don't produce milk)

    And the size of women's bottoms don't equate to fertility. (!)

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  5. Size of woman's bottom indicates how lazy she is. :( Mine's been growing.

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